You know you are "Country" when...

[sourland]

You know you are country when ------------- you wash your hands prior to going to the bathroom rather than after.

 

[Alexandra33]

Lol I was at the dollar store checkout, and my hands were full so I used my teeth to pull open a flap on my purse, suddenly felt something bland and squishy all in my mouth, looked at my purse and saw mousey colored globs of poop on the flap,excused myself, went outside and spat a hundred times, went back in, asked for the bathroom key, washed my mouth out, came back to the bewildered cashier and told her, I'm so sorry, I got something in my mouth. I prayyyyyyed she wouldn't know some critter had pooped on my purse when I'd set it down at home.

That is hysterically funny, ConPollos!!!!

And I thought the ducks letting it go on my side and the poop running all the way down into my sock was bad! Poopy chicken feet smearing my clothes, arms, and hair aren't so unfortunate after all.

-Alexandra33

 

[shortgrass]

And Gross!

Lately I find myself worrying about city people, who don't have our immunities, picking up some terrible disease we've tracked in on our shoes at the local rural gas station minimart.

Lol I'm more worried about catching something from THEM! I'd rather stop by a cornfield on my way out of town than useca gas station loo..ewww

Lol I was at the dollar store checkout, and my hands were full so I used my teeth to pull open a flap on my purse, suddenly felt something bland and squishy all in my mouth, looked at my purse and saw mousey colored globs of poop on the flap,excused myself, went outside and spat a hundred times, went back in, asked for the bathroom key, washed my mouth out, came back to the bewildered cashier and told her, I'm so sorry, I got something in my mouth. I prayyyyyyed she wouldn't know some critter had pooped on my purse when I'd set it down at home.

Are you serious?!?! Rofl ewww I thought my goose poop pants were bad hahaha!

But I have eaten many a donut then looked down to realize I might have had some cow pie too

I love this thread. My sister-in-law tells us all the time that we're a "bunch of hicks." I'm not ashamed to admit that she's 100% correct. As you can tell from my posts, some of the things we do around here are a little...okay, a LOT...strange!

LOL I don't see it as strange... I consider it a gift! Only country girls can know how to pee downwind, AND downstream, ... How to change a flat with a screwdriver and fencing pliers, when to get headed back home to not miss dusk from 150 miles away,....and how to track and catch a critter when you're hungry and dont want to go out in public wearing goose poop pants or risk using chicken poo lip gloss

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

Wow, ConPollos, I had a belly laugh over your poopy purse story! Just tonight, my toddler discovered a poop-crusted duck egg hiding in a clump of tall grass. Only God knows how long it had been there. Long story short, it broke and he ended up sampling it before I had a chance to stop him...YUCK!!! Miraculously, he's the healthiest person I know. Now all we need to do is team up your chicken poop purse with shortgrass's goose poop pants and my husband's duck poop coat and we'll have one smashing country ensemble!

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

Wow, ConPollos, I had a belly laugh over your poopy purse story! Just tonight, my toddler discovered a poop-crusted duck egg hiding in a clump of tall grass. Only God knows how long it had been there. Long story short, it broke and he ended up sampling it before I had a chance to stop him...YUCK!!! Miraculously, he's the healthiest person I know. Now all we need to do is team up your chicken poop purse with shortgrass's goose poop pants and my husband's duck poop coat and we'll have one smashing country ensemble!

And, of course, Alexandra33's duck diarrhea socks are a "must"!

 

[Alexandra33]

Wow, ConPollos, I had a belly laugh over your poopy purse story! Just tonight, my toddler discovered a poop-crusted duck egg hiding in a clump of tall grass. Only God knows how long it had been there. Long story short, it broke and he ended up sampling it before I had a chance to stop him...YUCK!!! Miraculously, he's the healthiest person I know. Now all we need to do is team up your chicken poop purse with shortgrass's goose poop pants and my husband's duck poop coat and we'll have one smashing country ensemble!

I put on a shirt the other day that had only been worn once, only to find out that it had several streaks of sneaky chicken poop on the front that had previously gone unnoticed. In case you were wondering, it was the super runny and gritty kind.

-Alexandra33

 

[ConPollos]

ROFL All ya'll are killing me! LOL

How do we stay healthy?! How do our poop sucking toddlers survive? LOL!!!

I drove home from the dollar store so afraid of ending up in the hospital and muttering over and over, "By His stripes I was healed...by His stripes I was healed..."

 

[oldhenlikesdogs]

I believe the more poop and filth consumed the better the immune system, that in my opinion is why there is so many allergies and resistance to antibiotics, we need to give our children more poop and dirt, and I do believe I read where they are transplanting poop into people's stomach to help build immunity, think it was in discovery magazine.

 

[TBirdsTheWord33]

Apparently, my toddler's mantra is, "I can EAT all things through Him who strengthens me!"

 

[ConPollos]

I believe the more poop and filth consumed the better the immune system, that in my opinion is why there is so many allergies and resistance to antibiotics, we need to give our children more poop and dirt, and I do believe I read where they are transplanting poop into people's stomach to help build immunity, think it was in discovery magazine.

Lol seriously??? Wow!

I was thinking that throughout the ages, the women of the family have been the ones changing diapers, nursing the sick, dressing wounds and changing bandages, acting as midwives, emptying chamber pots, scrubbing floors, cleaning up all kinds of filth, and then using those same contaminated hands to prepare the meals. I guess if the ladies didn't kill off their families with all those germs getting on the food they built their family's immunities.