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Hi and how are you doing? I wanted to let you know that my daughter and her ex weren’t able to really talk for several months. I now am able to see that it was a genuinely painful for both of them. More so for him. But at 18 they just didn’t have the ability to handle any better way. They...

Hi- I’m doing ok. Still missing him every single day. And missing them. For the first year, I was also afraid that if I let myself feel happy at all, that it would be disloyal to him and that I would be really saying goodbye. But then I realized that it was time to say goodbye to their high...

Hi- I hope you’re doing ok. My daughter’s ex did tread into that territory when he first started seeing his now fiancé. I think he would have tried harder, but my daughter was a mental wreck and so self absorbed that she wasn’t in a good place to have that conversation. And he concluded that...

I wish I had been able to cope as well as you have, Skiesabove. I'm not religious, but I too started to pray, and it helped. And Lorelei, that shattering in your heart is genuinely painful. Mine hurt all the time until we met up with him again - a year after their breakup. Something I said...

Hi to both of you. I also have to be in a good emotional state to write, or I fall into the rabbit hole of anger, frustration, and crying. It was three years after the breakup that he told my daughter he still loved her. Twice- I've seen the texts. She told him she loved him, too. But...

Hi and sorry for the delay - I didn’t see your post until today. I remember the no sleeping. That lasted 4 months for me. It was fight or flight all the time. Waiting for whatever drama would happen next, alternating with anxiety when nothing happened. My brain looped constantly trying to...

Hi- checking in to see how you are doing. I actually do care. Please feel free to vent. It does help to go through it with someone who can empathize. And rant all you want. I have literally about 500 pages of rants in hidden journals. Very intense and ugly stuff sometimes. Especially at the...

Hi If you click on Coffeeluvr, then click messages, you can read all of my old posts. I feel for you. It's a horrible emotional place to be. And it helps a lot to vent on a blog to others who can genuinely empathize. It's a genuine grieving process that most people just don't understand...

Yes- I still check in once every few months. I hope you are doing well. I have intermittent contact with my daughter’s (5 years now) ex. Every time I do- I realize how much I miss him. He really is a part of our family still, despite having a fiancé now. He asks about my daughter usually...

I think every situation is different. My daughter’s ex was very angry and frustrated for several months. I think if I had reached out in a formal way- it would have backfired. We mostly tried to act as if they were just struggling with the college separation. Although I was seriously messed...

So, it's been a few months and I have an update if anyone is still checking this blog. I met up with my daughter's ex (now 4 years later) at his invitation. He and my daughter are still friends, which he's happy about, although he stated that "she's changed". He's graduated college now and is...

Hi Connie, it's good to hear from you. It's been years for me now, too. And, same as you, there's not a day that I don't think about him, wonder what he's doing, and always hope for some contact or visit. My situation has evolved a bit, though. My daughter and her ex are still in touch...

Hi - I also have not posted anything for about a year. My daughter and her ex were together all throughout high school, but their relationship was really more like a college or early adult type. It was sort of a mutual break up, but she really broke his heart and I was angry with her for her...

Hi Connie, I hope you're doing well today. Brief update I wanted to share: found out my daughter's ex texted her a few months ago. They had several conversations catching up on each others' experiences, immediate as well as graduate school plans, and where they each might want to go to grad...

Hi Connie, I haven't posted since last August, but I check this blog occasionally. It's amazing how it can still throw your emotions into a bit of turmoil isn't it? I do know that feeling- you want him happy and not pining away, but it's still a kick in the gut to see a picture with the new...

Hi Flowerchild1, I'm sorry that there's yet another mom going through this. It really is awful and a death. It's the death of the relationship you had trusted, had hopes and subconscious and conscious expectations of the future about. Those that haven't experienced it can respect your...

Hi all, It's been a few weeks and I felt I should update a little. About a week after we met my daughter's ex for lunch - he texted her. It was the first real contact since last August. He was curious about what prompted my husband to text him. My daughter explained that we missed him...

Hi Flowers, I am terribly sorry for the changes that are occurring in your life. It's so awful, partly because it's out of our control. Our children's partners become our kids sometimes, and it's awful to have to lose that. Some people feel that way about their in-laws, and somehow...

Hi Connie, Closure? No, not really. It helps a lot to finally know what he's doing and what his plans are. But, he still feels like my kid, so I worry about him. I worry that he's emotionally closing himself off. And I won't have any regular contact to know. He's convinced himself that...

Hi all, It was really wonderful to catch up with my daughter's ex boyfriend yesterday. We talked for 2 and 1/2 hours. It was awkward for about a minute. But he and my husband are both so outgoing that the conversation never really waned. I couldn't get a sense of what happened with him and...