➡I accidentally bought Balut eggs: 2 live ducks! Now a Chat Thread!

[ShrekDawg]

Thanks for all the posts and help and sorry I didn’t respond right away and kind of left for a little bit. Needed time to process it all and think and didn’t want to say anything I would regret.

Honestly wasn’t really sure when or even if I’d come back at first. But then I came to my senses. I knew I probably would eventually and couldn’t stay away forever because I like this site and all of you guys too much and because you guys are all great and caring and mean well, which I knew all along, but at first I was pretty angry/hurt/defensive or whatever and clouded by emotion so that was hard to see so I needed some time to process everything and be alone for a bit. I figured maybe it’d be a couple weeks at least or even after the wedding (6 weeks away) so I could focus on everything else. I really wasn’t sure. I was pretty hurt and like I said, I wanted to process everything. But it ended up being much shorter, clearly.

However, I was also torn on whether to come back sooner or to just wait and get my shit together/get a job first before coming back so you guys wouldn’t be disappointed when I came back. Since I always seem to do (or not do) the same shit and I know that frustrates a lot of you. So I really wanted to wait to come back and make everyone proud/do something right for a change. But honestly, ultimately, I couldn’t stay away that long. I did check some even though I wasn’t logged in (solely so I wouldn’t type anything, like I said ha) but not that much, mostly found other ways to keep busy, so still had some catching up to do. But did still check a little bit like I said so anyway, I just decided since I clearly couldn’t stay away anyway, I might as well just log in and come back haha

So yeah. Now I’m back.

And honestly I’m a lot calmer now. Like I said, I was honestly pretty angry and hurt at first, mostly because I felt like a lot of the comments were just plain mean and/or unnecessary. There were nice ones too, of course, but some of them were just so mean. And it seemed or felt like most of you were agreeing with those ones. So it kind of felt at least a little bit like I was being attacked or like everyone was against me or something. Which hurt and is part of why I left. But now I know that is completely and utterly ridiculous. Even at the time I knew it was ridiculous because there were plenty of supportive messages too so I knew everyone meant well but my judgement was a bit clouded.

Anyway, I do still feel that some of the comments were a bit mean or at least overly harsh, BUT I now realize that even the “mean” ones were well intentioned. Or at least most of them.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, process, and clarify everything and am in a much clearer state of mind tonight* and I’ve realized that rather than a lack of caring, it is actually quite the opposite. You guys DO care and want me to succeed and everything which is why you all push so hard or maybe sometimes come off as a bit harsh or whatever. But I realize now it was never ill intentioned. I knew that all along, like I said, but sometimes I get so clouded by emotion as well as the anxiety and depression that it can be really hard to see. And it’s not just with you guys either. I struggle with/worry about this with every person in my life, IRL or not, family or not. It sucks. But I deal. I also sometimes struggle with the anger in other situations too which I also try to deal with.

But anyway, I’m getting a little bit off track now so to get back on track, I’ve realized that if you guys didn’t care, you would never say anything and you would just let me sit here wasting the rest of my life away.

So it’s evident you DO care.

And it always has been evident.

I just sometimes am too blind or stupid to see it.

So I apologize.

And I do appreciate the concern and everything else you guys have done both now and in the past.

So thank you. Even if I didn’t see it at the time.

And also I am going to try to reply to everything individually but it might be a little bit hard to do and take a bit of time. I need to go to sleep soon as I have a busy day tomorrow so I may need to finish replying to them in the morning. But I can say that I am going to reply in a separate post because this one ended up being so long. I wanted to just have a little intro/statement then the individual replies but I ended up just saying most of what I wanted to say here so I will just make a separate post.

Oh and also just so I’m a little bit less of a disappointment, I did start looking into jobs as well as dog training (trainer?) schools the other day (directly related to the job search so not just a pipe dream. I’ll post more details in the next post.) Got a bit overwhelming and disappointing though so I stopped looking eventually but at least I started the process and found out some of the requirements. That’s at least a step, right? Not a big one by any means but more than I’ve done in a while.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Oh and I almost forgot to explain the asterisk part I included (forgot I included it).

I believe the additional mental clarity tonight came from the fact that I took some Excedrin this afternoon (itchy/painful eye turned migraine) which of course has caffeine and I’m honestly wondering if I shouldn’t start taking a little caffeine every day because I believe it really helped. I felt like I was able to think way more clearly and also honestly this might sound really weird but it seemed to help the depression too. I wasn’t really depressed like at all today and thought hardly any negative thoughts all day or at least once I took it and was way happier and more talkative and less angry and stuff. Which is huge because lately I’ve been stuck in an extremely vicious negative cycle and been awful to myself. I didn’t do that today. I still wasn’t super super productive because I didn’t take it until like 3 and it took a while to kick in but I think if I start having caffeine earlier I could be way way more productive and accomplish a lot more haha problem is I hate coffee.

 

[jwyles]

Well I don’t exactly have plans, but I scribbled down the general idea of it just for you! It’s kind of a wild project that I’ve been chewing over for quite some time.
Spoiler because I imagine most of you don’t care about bearded dragon tanks?

Spoiler: Dragon tank “plans”

There’s tons of plans for DIY dragon tanks online, but I want mine to look like an actual, nice piece of furniture. Go big or go home.
View attachment 1875645
Main points:
-frame and shelving will be made from “shelving boards,” (cheap) sanded and painted
-the very top piece will be real stained wood that will ultimately be removable (see below)
-four 10x10 inch cubby holes on bottom, sized for storage baskets
-one 20x16 inch storage hole in the middle; was going to be a double door, but now I’m thinking it’s too narrow for that
-the actual tank is up top, accessible by a sliding glass door on the front (two 20x24 inch glass panels on a sliding door track)
-lighting will be mounted inside the tank and wires will be run upward into a false ceiling. Wire compartment false ceiling will be accessible from above through the real wooden top, that I’ll make removable by making “notches” for it to sit in (confusing, I know)
-tank ventilation is still up for debate; probably going to make one long, narrow mesh screen “window” on the back and silicone/frame it in
-tank floor will be slate tile, grouted in
-tank walls will be lined with faux wood linoleum, and corners sealed with aquarium silicone

Inspiration (keep in mind that I haven’t found any pictures of anything quite like what I’m doing, I’m mostly winging it):
View attachment 1875648
View attachment 1875649

I think these custom built bearded dragon habitats are so cool. We bought my daughter a bright yellow baby dragon from a breeder a few years ago and had plans to customize a setup for her as she grew but we ended up rehoming her to someone with more experience. As she reached adulthood she didn't want to eat switch to a mostly vegetarian diet like recommended.as in she wouldn't touch anything that didn't move. I took her to an exotic reptile vet (drove an hour and a half to find out that yep she was a little underweight as expected length for her age. ) we ended up rehoming her and They wound up having to feed her live pinky mice! That's a complete side story lol. But anywho... not sure if I missed it or if it was there but I'd suggest at least a two foot depth from front to back on your custom enclosure that way a big lizard can stretch out any way he or she feels.

Btw I live the design you've come up with! Makes me miss our beardie. She was fun until she got carnivorous.

 

[jwyles]

Cotton says "HEY"!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Thank you. That really helps me understand the coloring on Hazel and Pomme Tom!


A neighbor has 13 wooded acres with 5 horses. One is a Clydsdale with a new filly. He feeds a bagged feed that supposedly replaces the need for hay/grazing. The grass ground is covered in weeds that he doesn't cut or spray to improve the grass. There are huge bare spots. The fences are barbed wire not fit for holding any livestock. Need I say more?


I liked your comment because I sense you and I share the same frustration and want to reach through the Internet to grasp @KDOGG331 by her shoulders and shake her today.
Perhaps your comments are jogging her sense of reality and she will do a quick self search.

I'm going to add my comments to her next post right after I take the dogs out and feed my chickens and ducks. I want to think about how to respond to her post.

[

Oh wow those sound like awful living conditions for sure! Those poor horses.

I know it doesn’t seem like it based on my posts but believe it or not, I am at least partly in touch with reality in that I know and am fully aware that this is all bad and I need to change it, I just never seem to be able to. But I guess I need to actually try. Usually I either don’t at all or I do but then it’s too hard, intimidating, overwhelming and I freeze again.

But I do want to change it. I know it seems like I don’t but I do.

Just need to force myself to I guess.

Although I’m not sure shaking is the right answer.

But maybe it is since clearly the gentle, being nice thing hasn’t been working.

I guess some tough love could be good.

But some of the other posts didn’t seem very loving lol but I guess it’s just a different style. Maybe intended with it at least.

But the weird thing is I really do want to change (I know that might be hard to believe based on my actions/posts but it’s true) and honestly feel like shit for having done nothing with my life most of the time but then I can never seem to change or when I try to, I can never seem to stick to it.

And I’ve tried really hard before, not lately, I know, but I did. I kinda gave up cause it never worked.

And I haven’t been sitting doing nothing for forever, I did graduate with an associates degree last year, but even that I kinda just glided through. And it took me way longer than it should have to get it. Like years longer.

Meanwhile other people my age or younger are in med school, vet school, having kids or getting married or whatever, and here I am doing nothing. Even my own brothers, my little one graduated from MIT last year and the older one has his masters already and is about to graduate (next year I think) from a joint program with WHOI and MIT to get his doctorate. He is also the one getting married. And of course has had a good job for a while at the institute he’s doing the program with. And they both have decent jobs. And they’re both relatively normal.

Then there’s me who’s spent years in and out of college, dropped out of the first one in the second year (didn’t even finish the first semester that year) and still only have a two year degree out of all that time, and the only one with mental health/behavioral/learning issues (used to have an IEP too and ADD) or at least noticeable ones.

So I’m definitely already the failure/screwup of the family. At least in my eyes. They don’t treat me like that at all and I’m lucky that they are all very supportive as are my friends, including you guys, I know many people don’t have any of that, but yet I still constantly compare myself to them.

prove me wrong
I hope you took offense

Gladly.

And at the time I did because I honestly thought it was a bit mean and still somewhat do but the difference is now I realize it was probably well intentioned. Or I think.

I'll be waiting make it good too!

This one at the time I took it as you guys thinking it was entertaining or something but that was way off base I think. I think it was maybe much more like have good/helpful advice in it??

One credit card doesn't do much for a credit score.
You will never get a loan for a car or a house if you can't prove you have steady income.

At some point you have to stop thinking about doing and just do it.

Well then what does? I’m not saying that to be sarcastic. I genuinely do not know this shit. Honestly I wish I did because I do want to build it. I’m not being willfully ignorant. I genuinely do not know and thought that’s how you built it. I guess I could Google it but honestly that would probably just leave me more confused than before.

That makes sense but I’m not really sure if I’m going to do either of those things anytime soon.

The current car is a lease and I think I might just lease another one when it’s up. And I am truly unsure and need to decide if I want to find an apartment and move out ASAP or if I want to just wait and save and buy a house.

Because honestly, to me, it kind of feels like a waste of my hard earned money (once I get a real job) to just rent an apartment and be throwing money away when I could continue living here rent free and just buy eventually.

That makes the most sense to me and I should probably stay here as long as possible and save as much as I can first.

BUT.

Living here is extremely taxing on my mental health and sanity and is causing me quite a bit of stress.

So I almost feel like it would be worth it to move out sooner rather than later just for that reason alone.

And I honestly feel like I would be way more productive and way happier on my own.

Whenever my parents have gone out of town or whatever, I’m always crazy productive. At least for a while. But when they’re around, I tend to shut down or try to avoid one or both which usually ends up in me in my room or else another room or off driving around constantly.

But I know that’s not good and sounds like just a bunch of excuses, which it kind of is I suppose, so I really need to learn how to be productive despite my circumstances. It just makes it really hard to focus sometimes too.

I need to figure something out because even if I want to go the “move out ASAP” route, I really do not have enough money to do so anytime soon.

Also, hypothetical question, IF I decided to go with the dog business thing, how would you prove the income then? Show the bank statements? This is assuming I have enough clients and it actually is a steady income, like an established business, not needing another job to support it anymore. Do they even accept self employed people? Surely they must since there’s so many now?

This is hypothetical. Obviously for now I would need a real job.

I know that and am well aware but, for whatever reason, whether that’s just laziness or fear or stupidity or what, I can never seem to actually take the next step.

But honestly my parents are like that too. This whole family is a lot of talk and no actual action except my older brother and FSIL who are both real go getter types and, much like you guys, sick of all the inaction around here.

My mother doesn’t have a job either. She’s had some here and there over the years, the most recent one was a few months ago but she quit cause they treated her like shit. She used to have a really good job but then she quit to move up here/raise us and never really got back into it.

So I haven’t really had the best examples.

But I’m not blaming this on them or making excuses or anything. Because I know that the inaction is 100% my fault and just because they live like that doesn’t mean I have to but it’s taken me a while to realize it and also they do tend to enable me and treat me like a child a lot, especially my mother, which doesn’t help the situation any. And I think my mother is also overly dependent on me.

I suppose I should probably hang out with DB and FSIL more.

I never said working with animals as a profession was stupid.

I guess I maybe misunderstood then. At the time I really thought you did because I laid out the plan for the business and everything and you had then said I had no drive and don’t I want to do something with my life or be somebody so I took that as directly implying that if I go into the animal field, that would be the exact opposite of that and that I would basically be a nobody or going nowhere with my life if I did that. But maybe I took that wrong? If so, I apologize. I strongly felt that way/like you were at the time but I’m assuming I was wrong.

@KDOGG331 it won't let me quote for some reason, but have you looked at jobs from Petsmart/Petco/etc? Even getting into the dog bather or assistant to the trainers or even cashier will get you a foot in the door and allow you to grow through the system a bit. Plus you get to still work with animals every day.

Thanks, I actually did think of that and a family friend sent me a pic of a sign at a local Petco about them needing an apprentice dog trainer but I didn’t look into it until the other day. They sent it about a week and a half ago but then I forgot.

But it doesn’t matter anyway because turns out you need or at least they prefer you to be certified already. Which I don’t really get why you’d need that for an apprentice. I assumed they would train you. So that was disappointing.

And then the school I have been considering going to forever turns out really doesn’t have that good of a certification, not even listed in an article of best certifications for trainers I found, so I looked at one of the ones they prefer, which is one of the top ones, and then another school who is supposed to be like the best according to the article.

But anyway, for the certification for the job, they require or at least mention having work experience. Which I don’t have so that was disappointing and frustrating. Need the certification for a job but need a job to get the certification. Found it odd too for a mostly online program but oh well.

Then the top one is a much more strenuous/rigorous application process and they don’t accept very many people unlike most of these training schools so I doubt I would even get in. It’s one of the best in the world. And it’s also a much more intense two year program instead of 6 months to a year like most other programs. So then when I read that I also spent a lot of time thinking about how I was an idiot for not starting this process sooner and how I could have the damn certification by now.

So then I thought maybe I could at least just be an associate or something but the requirements/responsibilities list for that thing was like a mile long and really intimidated/overwhelmed me and put me off. I don’t think I could do that. And it’s not even laziness. I think I would like the work. I’m always fixing things on shelves/moving stuff to the right spot in stores and I would liking helping customers and taking care of animals and could even do the register. Those responsibilities aren’t so bad but there were just a lot more on there that I wouldn’t have even thought you’d have to do for that job that surprised me. Plus having to know all about every product. And of course suggestive sales techniques. I am waaaaaayyyyyy too nice for that and hate ripping people off or selling them shit they don’t need so I don’t think I would be good at that. And knowing everything intimidates me.

But then my parents did help me realize when I brought it up yesterday that I probably know more and would be a better worker than most of the people in that store currently. Every store says all that stuff but then mostly hire kids who just tell you they don’t know lol meanwhile I have researched just about every animal they sell extensively (because I’ve wanted them all at some point ) as well as extensively researched the best cat and dog foods and of course, I LOVE putting stuff back in the right place and making shelves and things look pretty which I think I mentioned so I’m kind of feeling a bit better about it.

Still may just apply at the movies instead though. Easier, way more fun (more young people and could work at night too, I’m a night owl ha), free movies, and the best part is this one actually happens to have great benefits too so it’s smart too. Not just fun haha

But idk. We’ll see.

Don’t really want to do such an extremely physical job like a groomer because I already get migraines and sometimes physically weak/sick so I think it would just exacerbate the problem. Plus I don’t want to get peed and pooped on and scratched and bitten and soaked haha

I think she likes the attention. She keeps doing/saying the same things and we keep telling her the same things

You know I can see this, right?

This was extremely rude and unnecessary.

And also quite frankly 100000% false.

I won’t say anymore.

@KDOGG331, I have spent the past several hours considering how to respond to your post in response to @sdm111 's straight forward approach to jostle you into some self-search and some meaningful encouragement.
I shared that same frustration today. This response may take me a while to type.

First let me say that there is not a single person who frequents this chat on a regular basis who has not been supportive of your goals. And many have kindly offered support for your many concerns, projects, and your highs and lows. We all have baggage...some is more neatly packed than others.
Many of us have come to appreciate your friendly compassion, research skills and sense of humor.
While sometimes your "novels" have been lengthy and contain way "tmi" for me, you offer genuine enthusiasm.

In reading your response post, Kelsey after your initial defensive reaction, you did do some soul searching and some clarification which I expected.

Second, hanging in my school office was a quote
"If you always do what you have always done;
you will always be what you have always been."
It is one thing to talk our dreams, it takes real action to make them reality.
You have three admirable goals that you have frequently shared:
1) Start a business working with animals
2) Earn enough money to move out on your own and eventually purchase land
3) Maintain a healthy lifestyle
These goals need to be divided into smaller achieveable steps.
What you have forgotten is that making dreams reality requires a written plan and finances.
Sometimes we have to sacrifice and work a part-time job outside our dream field to pay for the little steps we take along the way.
As Sdm111 stated "Don't sell yourself short have confidence that you can and you will.".
You won't be applying for a job in a field you hate and it won't be for a long term....doesn't even have to be a full-time job.

Third, I'm willing to start a private message with you about your goals. I can offer years of experience.

Thank you very much Nana. This is helpful and very kind and thoughtful.

I am sure their posts as well as most of the others were 100% well intentioned but honestly at the time I didn’t really view it as just straight forward or encouraging but it seemed more just mean at the time aha

Still does slightly but now that I’ve had time to process it and think clearer I realize it wasn’t supposed to be. I think they’re just very direct aha but to me it did kind of the exact opposite of encouraging at the time.

But I’ve processed it and realize the actual intentions now ha

Anyway, I am going to try to reply as best I can but it is now almost 5am probably well after by the time I finish this and the Excedrin has definitely worn off quite a bit ago so the clarity/energy is gone and I’m a bit delirious/barely awake but I want to have this post written and posted before everyone wakes up (not that anybody is going to be able to read it one day anyway ) so bear with me haha apologies if I don’t make sense. Can barely see straight let alone think.

As to your first point, I am sure you are 100% correct there and I do appreciate the support but I guess I maybe misinterpreted their intention because at the time it kind of seemed like they were directly implying to work with animals or do that job would be going nowhere in life or whatever since that post was right after I said the goals bit. But maybe it was in reply to a different part of the post or completely misinterpreted altogether. And it does seem like at least to me that when it gets brought up, it is also usually mentioned that I need a real job or that that one doesn’t count or whatever things like that but maybe that is solely meant in addition to the dog walking? Like to help get to the goal? Just kind of seemed like it was instead of it and I should pursue something else. I do seem to recall something about how taxes for self employment as well as renting an apartment were both challenging so I should do something else instead but I think maybe that was just meant for now not forever?

Because I know that you guys have been incredibly supportive of just about everything I’ve ever posted unless it’s stupid or harmful (like eating out so much or the phone or whatever aha) and I really do genuinely appreciate it. So thank you. I honestly think or know you guys are probably some of the most supportive and kind people I’ve met on this site so I’m really not sure why I am viewing everything with such a negative lens lately. I apologize.

And thank you very much. That is very kind of you to say and I really appreciate that. I honestly didn’t really realize you guys thought of me like that and it’s very sweet.

As for the novels...... welp........ sorry..... just wrote two more....

And yeah, I may have been a bit too defensive in my initial post but like I mentioned, I initially viewed it as very negative or mean so that kind of framed my reply. It shouldn’t have but did.

And as for the soul searching/clarification, didn’t really have to be much. I’ve had these same goals and plan and everything for a while and thought about it just as long

I like that quote. That is a good quote. Thank you. I have seen another one similar that said something like “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” But I think I like yours better. Kinder. Doesn’t call people insane hahaha

But I believe I’m both those.

Thank you again. I am glad you think those goals are admirable. That’s a bold statement and very kind so thank you.

As for all the stuff about action, steps, plan, finances, all that..... I have always been AWFUL at that. Maybe that’s why I always fail at everything.

I am the least organized person there is. Always hated lists, schedules, plans, etc. I can never follow it or stick to it. I always just kinda wing it and make it up as I go along and it’s usually worked out fine but I do believe that for a big project/goal like this business thing or really all of the goals, I probably do need some sort of plan or business model. I usually kinda keep a loose one in my head and can think of several of the steps I need to take off the top of my head but I suppose I should probably actually write them down somewhere so I can see them and/or check them off.

I am willing to change if it will help me. I can’t guarantee I will stick to it or follow it though but I can try. It’s just I suck at it so I might just forget I even have it and go off script or not use it just purely on accident even if it’s not intentional. That’s how bad I am at it and how used to not using it I am. Also my big thing, at least with schedules but with plans too, has always been, what if I want to add another step or do something else that isn’t in the plan? Or if something better comes along? Or with the schedule I’m like what if I block this in for this time but then I want to do something else instead or something comes up. But I guess I can always change plans or schedules later? They are not set in stone? Only for good reason though but that’s always been part of my worry. That and I am just plan bad at it. My handwriting is AWFUL too haha Kiki knows. I have never had girly handwriting or been good at coloring or art or color coding or scrapbooking or anything cutesie and girly like that.

I guess that’s unrelated but still. Being organized goes like completely against my nature.

Not that I don’t want to. Just that I’ve tried and it always ends badly.

I am a major work in progress I guess.

As for the job bit, thank you. You are right and I have come to terms with the fact that I need one for this to work haha and I guess that’s true but I guess I was just worried I had to work in some retail or fast food job or get the first job I could find. I guess I kinda thought you guys were just saying to just take the first job that comes along even if it sucks hahah

But maybe I should take my time and apply to ones that I might like?

Obviously not take as much time as I have so far aka getting nothing done but I just mean like maybe I could be at least a little bit selective?

And that’s good to know. I thought maybe it had to be.

And thank you very much, I appreciate that. And I did see the message, thank you for sending it anyway even though I was kind of a jerk and left you hanging all this time. I really do appreciate it and I would love the help. I will reply to that next but right now it is almost 5:40am so that one will have to wait until tomorrow. I am sorry.

Anyway, thank you again.

I think I replied to everyone and if not, I am sorry.

sometimes you gotta keep it real cause life's real. You can't sit around waiting for opportunity to fall in your lap and happen cause it won't. If you want it go get it. To start your own company you need to start small and acquire your clientele through years of building yourself in your chosen field and becoming known and having your name out there with a good reputation. As you're building it you need to have a steady income to make ends meet and eventually go out on your own. To throw a sign up on the street and wait for clients to bust down your door is a recipe for disaster

That’s true but I’m not just waiting around. I’m trying to make it happen. Need to try harder but I’ve been looking at jobs and I started making a Rover profile earlier but I need to take a good profile picture to finish it.

As for the middle part, that is all good advice but I am already well aware of that and doing that.

And as for the last part, of course that would be a terrible idea, but when did I ever say I was doing that?

You know, honestly, I know this is 100% well intentioned and this one isn’t at all mean or anything so I’m not saying that and it does feature good advice which I appreciate, but it still honestly feels a little bit condescending or patronizing. Like you think I’m stupid or something.

I might be young but I am not an idiot.

I would never be so naive as to think that last method would be practical at all. I have researched this extensively and tried to figure out how to start it. I got a little bit confused about the tax stuff, sure, but have been trying to read loads and learn as much as I can on how best to start a business like this.

So I’m not at all going into this blind or just leaping in head first with zero preparation or research and hoping for the best like you guys seem to think I am.

I am serious about this and want to see it succeed so I would never do something so stupid and jeopardize the entire thing.

That was never part of plan to just throw a sign up. It is of course stupid and incredibly lazy.

I have already been working on building a client base. I only started doing this just a little over a year ago (May of last year after I graduated) and I only started with my brother’s dog and then moved to both dogs when they got a second dog in September. And since then, actually just since January of this year so even less time, I have already gained two new customers just solely from word of mouth and them seeing what a good job I do with my brother’s dogs. Of course, so far it is just their neighbor, and some family friends, but still. That’s two more clients than I had before. And I haven’t even advertised at all. The business has been growing without me even really doing anything. Just from being good at my job. So with a little bit of advertising and preparation, I imagine it will grow quite a bit more. And every single one of my clients knows a ton of other people with dogs and have all said that they would be more than happy to recommend me to other people and tell them what a good job I do with their dogs.

I also usually always take pictures of their dogs and post them on my personal Facebook and tag them in them. So their friends usually see these pictures too and see the happy, smiling dogs and all the cool stuff I do with them so that’s also helping me to get my name out there. Obviously once the business gets more established, I would not necessarily post them in my personal FB account or befriend every client. I realize that’s a little bit unprofessional and I need to set some boundaries so I would make a business FB page most likely. But for now it works because these are all friends and family members we have known for years that I was already friends with on there anyway. And it gets my name out for now.

So I do not anticipate growth or gaining new clients being a problem at all.

But I am also not arrogant or naive and know that I will still need to get a regular job in the meantime to help support this and pay for some of the business expenses.

This is probably what I struggle with the most. I worry myself into the ground and try to convince myself that progressing isn’t worth the effort and hassle.

I think a lot of people end up spinning their tires because there’s no pressure or drive to better themselves. Sometimes you just have to make decisions and stick to your guns; the kinks will work themselves out as your work ethic and confidence in your abilities grows.

Yeah I do that too sometimes but for me I don’t think it’s really that I don’t wanna progress or that it’s not worth the effort, it’s just sometimes I think I can’t. Or that it’s too hard or difficult and give up before I even try. I guess that’s the same thing. Maybe it’s more fear. Or laziness. Idk. Cause sometimes I also just don’t really know or just don’t really take the next step.

For me personally, I definitely want to better myself, and hate where I’m at, so I know it’s not that, but I just can’t. Or I guess don’t. I have a bad habit of just not even trying. And I guess even though I want to improve, there really isn’t any real incentive since I don’t have to pay for anything atm, except stuff I buy with my own money, which I guess is maybe another reason I should move out.

But I also feel like, and maybe I am wrong here, I can’t get a job or really improve much until I work on myself first. Maybe that’s wrong and maybe having a job would help with that. Idk. But currently I don’t even really do much around here so I thought maybe if I started it might help. And/or saw a therapist and got to the bottom of the lack of motivation even if it turns out it is just laziness haha

For me it’s weird cause once I get working, I do a really good job and even tend to overdo it as well as pay really close attention to detail and everything so I’m not really sure it’s a work ethic problem as much as a getting motivated/getting started problem. But then again, that said, I do tend to quit or not even try when something gets hard. But that’s not really lack of work ethic or lack of wanting to do it or whatever I don’t think because usually I do want to keep going and do it but don’t really know how. I just get so overwhelmed and freeze up and quit altogether.

Maybe it’s the lack of confidence bit. Idk. I tend to be extremely overly critical of myself and tell myself I can’t or that my work is shit or whatever.

Also even something simple like reading a book is really hard for me right now because I suck at reading lately. Well, not really lately, but for a while. It’s part of why I didn’t read much in school. It’s not cause I didn’t want to or was lazy (well, that played a slight role) but it was largely that every time I tried, it took me so dang long to read anything and would take hours to read even something short so eventually I just gave up and stopped trying altogether since I was so behind on it anyway. Stupid maybe but read just enough to be able to discuss and paid attention and participated in class so still got good grades. Also oddly I could remember enough to discuss and write good essays even without using the cheat stuff. I just tried to read what I could.

But it takes me embarrassingly long. And I end up just getting frustrated and pissed off and angry at myself so that even pleasure reading isn’t pleasurable or fun anymore. But granted, I haven’t read for fun or for years anyways, but still. I was trying to get back into it recently but it’s just not fun. Sometimes I do force myself and get a few chapters in though.

What happens is I think the OCD has gotten worse as well as just being on the phone too much so that I’ve gotten a little dumber or something so that I get hung up on one word or one sentence forever. I will have to read and reread it over and over and over again. Sometimes, like with textbooks and school stuff, it was because I genuinely didn’t really process or “get” what I just read or didn’t even actually read it even though I was reading/seeing it with my eyes if that makes sense. In those cases, I felt pretty dumb cause I’m usually pretty smart but my brain like shut down and didn’t actually want to read and process it. But usually it’s just because of the OCD or a combination of both to where I just get stuck. I sometimes get stuck with the thoughts in my head or speaking too. I have to repeat stuff over and over and can’t move on to the next thing until I do. It gets really annoying and frustrating and makes it hard to read or do anything.

Sorry, kinda got sidetracked haha

Yeah true

 

[ShrekDawg]

Phew. That took waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too long to type all those replies and I’m sure it will take you guys way longer to read them if you don’t just skip over them. sorry

I had replied to all the fun/random ones too but then I accidentally deleted them all and now I’m way too tired so I’m not going back. Sorry. Haha

Anyway, almost 6am now so I REALLY have to get to sleep now. I just wanted to have that posted before I went to bed since I know I tend to wake up a lot later than everyone else and wanted to give you all a head start on the reading.

Anyway, goodnight. Or good morning?? I have a feeling I am going to need a nap today.

But I am not going to let it stop me from being productive. I know you are all probably rolling your eyes right now but I am determined to be extremely productive today and actually get something done even though I got like no sleep. I actually find sometimes I work best on no sleep and just napping oddly haha

I think I might clean my room since it is supposed to rain today. Or maybe start applying for jobs. Or finish the Rover app. I think the job thing is most important but I also have to get my room and the storage room/my old room cleaned out because I am sure my moms family will want to tour the house since they haven’t been here in so long. Wedding is only 6 weeks away so not much time to do it. It seems like a lot but there is A LOT of cleaning and organizing that needs to be done and I tend to get really overwhelmed whenever I start that too, having NO clue where to begin, and usually just take stuff out and start to sort it and then just quit. Or cry. I once cried cause I got so overwhelmed. that was only once though.

But this will be a big project ha

I am terrible at prioritizing though so I don’t really know where to begin or what I should do first. I assume the job but honestly the house needs to be clean and clutter/junk free. I can only control my room.

 

[Molpet]

Oh wow those sound like awful living conditions for sure! Those poor horses.

I know it doesn’t seem like it based on my posts but believe it or not, I am at least partly in touch with reality in that I know and am fully aware that this is all bad and I need to change it, I just never seem to be able to. But I guess I need to actually try. Usually I either don’t at all or I do but then it’s too hard, intimidating, overwhelming and I freeze again.

But I do want to change it. I know it seems like I don’t but I do.

Just need to force myself to I guess.

Although I’m not sure shaking is the right answer.

But maybe it is since clearly the gentle, being nice thing hasn’t been working.

I guess some tough love could be good.

But some of the other posts didn’t seem very loving lol but I guess it’s just a different style. Maybe intended with it at least.

But the weird thing is I really do want to change (I know that might be hard to believe based on my actions/posts but it’s true) and honestly feel like shit for having done nothing with my life most of the time but then I can never seem to change or when I try to, I can never seem to stick to it.

And I’ve tried really hard before, not lately, I know, but I did. I kinda gave up cause it never worked.

And I haven’t been sitting doing nothing for forever, I did graduate with an associates degree last year, but even that I kinda just glided through. And it took me way longer than it should have to get it. Like years longer.

Meanwhile other people my age or younger are in med school, vet school, having kids or getting married or whatever, and here I am doing nothing. Even my own brothers, my little one graduated from MIT last year and the older one has his masters already and is about to graduate (next year I think) from a joint program with WHOI and MIT to get his doctorate. He is also the one getting married. And of course has had a good job for a while at the institute he’s doing the program with. And they both have decent jobs. And they’re both relatively normal.

Then there’s me who’s spent years in and out of college, dropped out of the first one in the second year (didn’t even finish the first semester that year) and still only have a two year degree out of all that time, and the only one with mental health/behavioral/learning issues (used to have an IEP too and ADD) or at least noticeable ones.

So I’m definitely already the failure/screwup of the family. At least in my eyes. They don’t treat me like that at all and I’m lucky that they are all very supportive as are my friends, including you guys, I know many people don’t have any of that, but yet I still constantly compare myself to them.



Gladly.

And at the time I did because I honestly thought it was a bit mean and still somewhat do but the difference is now I realize it was probably well intentioned. Or I think.



This one at the time I took it as you guys thinking it was entertaining or something but that was way off base I think. I think it was maybe much more like have good/helpful advice in it??



Well then what does? I’m not saying that to be sarcastic. I genuinely do not know this shit. Honestly I wish I did because I do want to build it. I’m not being willfully ignorant. I genuinely do not know and thought that’s how you built it. I guess I could Google it but honestly that would probably just leave me more confused than before.

That makes sense but I’m not really sure if I’m going to do either of those things anytime soon.

The current car is a lease and I think I might just lease another one when it’s up. And I am truly unsure and need to decide if I want to find an apartment and move out ASAP or if I want to just wait and save and buy a house.

Because honestly, to me, it kind of feels like a waste of my hard earned money (once I get a real job) to just rent an apartment and be throwing money away when I could continue living here rent free and just buy eventually.

That makes the most sense to me and I should probably stay here as long as possible and save as much as I can first.

BUT.

Living here is extremely taxing on my mental health and sanity and is causing me quite a bit of stress.

So I almost feel like it would be worth it to move out sooner rather than later just for that reason alone.

And I honestly feel like I would be way more productive and way happier on my own.

Whenever my parents have gone out of town or whatever, I’m always crazy productive. At least for a while. But when they’re around, I tend to shut down or try to avoid one or both which usually ends up in me in my room or else another room or off driving around constantly.

But I know that’s not good and sounds like just a bunch of excuses, which it kind of is I suppose, so I really need to learn how to be productive despite my circumstances. It just makes it really hard to focus sometimes too.

I need to figure something out because even if I want to go the “move out ASAP” route, I really do not have enough money to do so anytime soon.

Also, hypothetical question, IF I decided to go with the dog business thing, how would you prove the income then? Show the bank statements? This is assuming I have enough clients and it actually is a steady income, like an established business, not needing another job to support it anymore. Do they even accept self employed people? Surely they must since there’s so many now?

This is hypothetical. Obviously for now I would need a real job.

I know that and am well aware but, for whatever reason, whether that’s just laziness or fear or stupidity or what, I can never seem to actually take the next step.

But honestly my parents are like that too. This whole family is a lot of talk and no actual action except my older brother and FSIL who are both real go getter types and, much like you guys, sick of all the inaction around here.

My mother doesn’t have a job either. She’s had some here and there over the years, the most recent one was a few months ago but she quit cause they treated her like shit. She used to have a really good job but then she quit to move up here/raise us and never really got back into it.

So I haven’t really had the best examples.

But I’m not blaming this on them or making excuses or anything. Because I know that the inaction is 100% my fault and just because they live like that doesn’t mean I have to but it’s taken me a while to realize it and also they do tend to enable me and treat me like a child a lot, especially my mother, which doesn’t help the situation any. And I think my mother is also overly dependent on me.

I suppose I should probably hang out with DB and FSIL more.



I guess I maybe misunderstood then. At the time I really thought you did because I laid out the plan for the business and everything and you had then said I had no drive and don’t I want to do something with my life or be somebody so I took that as directly implying that if I go into the animal field, that would be the exact opposite of that and that I would basically be a nobody or going nowhere with my life if I did that. But maybe I took that wrong? If so, I apologize. I strongly felt that way/like you were at the time but I’m assuming I was wrong.



Thanks, I actually did think of that and a family friend sent me a pic of a sign at a local Petco about them needing an apprentice dog trainer but I didn’t look into it until the other day. They sent it about a week and a half ago but then I forgot.

But it doesn’t matter anyway because turns out you need or at least they prefer you to be certified already. Which I don’t really get why you’d need that for an apprentice. I assumed they would train you. So that was disappointing.

And then the school I have been considering going to forever turns out really doesn’t have that good of a certification, not even listed in an article of best certifications for trainers I found, so I looked at one of the ones they prefer, which is one of the top ones, and then another school who is supposed to be like the best according to the article.

But anyway, for the certification for the job, they require or at least mention having work experience. Which I don’t have so that was disappointing and frustrating. Need the certification for a job but need a job to get the certification. Found it odd too for a mostly online program but oh well.

Then the top one is a much more strenuous/rigorous application process and they don’t accept very many people unlike most of these training schools so I doubt I would even get in. It’s one of the best in the world. And it’s also a much more intense two year program instead of 6 months to a year like most other programs. So then when I read that I also spent a lot of time thinking about how I was an idiot for not starting this process sooner and how I could have the damn certification by now.

So then I thought maybe I could at least just be an associate or something but the requirements/responsibilities list for that thing was like a mile long and really intimidated/overwhelmed me and put me off. I don’t think I could do that. And it’s not even laziness. I think I would like the work. I’m always fixing things on shelves/moving stuff to the right spot in stores and I would liking helping customers and taking care of animals and could even do the register. Those responsibilities aren’t so bad but there were just a lot more on there that I wouldn’t have even thought you’d have to do for that job that surprised me. Plus having to know all about every product. And of course suggestive sales techniques. I am waaaaaayyyyyy too nice for that and hate ripping people off or selling them shit they don’t need so I don’t think I would be good at that. And knowing everything intimidates me.

But then my parents did help me realize when I brought it up yesterday that I probably know more and would be a better worker than most of the people in that store currently. Every store says all that stuff but then mostly hire kids who just tell you they don’t know lol meanwhile I have researched just about every animal they sell extensively (because I’ve wanted them all at some point ) as well as extensively researched the best cat and dog foods and of course, I LOVE putting stuff back in the right place and making shelves and things look pretty which I think I mentioned so I’m kind of feeling a bit better about it.

Still may just apply at the movies instead though. Easier, way more fun (more young people and could work at night too, I’m a night owl ha), free movies, and the best part is this one actually happens to have great benefits too so it’s smart too. Not just fun haha

But idk. We’ll see.

Don’t really want to do such an extremely physical job like a groomer because I already get migraines and sometimes physically weak/sick so I think it would just exacerbate the problem. Plus I don’t want to get peed and pooped on and scratched and bitten and soaked haha



You know I can see this, right?

This was extremely rude and unnecessary.

And also quite frankly 100000% false.

I won’t say anymore.



Thank you very much Nana. This is helpful and very kind and thoughtful.

I am sure their posts as well as most of the others were 100% well intentioned but honestly at the time I didn’t really view it as just straight forward or encouraging but it seemed more just mean at the time aha

Still does slightly but now that I’ve had time to process it and think clearer I realize it wasn’t supposed to be. I think they’re just very direct aha but to me it did kind of the exact opposite of encouraging at the time.

But I’ve processed it and realize the actual intentions now ha

Anyway, I am going to try to reply as best I can but it is now almost 5am probably well after by the time I finish this and the Excedrin has definitely worn off quite a bit ago so the clarity/energy is gone and I’m a bit delirious/barely awake but I want to have this post written and posted before everyone wakes up (not that anybody is going to be able to read it one day anyway ) so bear with me haha apologies if I don’t make sense. Can barely see straight let alone think.

As to your first point, I am sure you are 100% correct there and I do appreciate the support but I guess I maybe misinterpreted their intention because at the time it kind of seemed like they were directly implying to work with animals or do that job would be going nowhere in life or whatever since that post was right after I said the goals bit. But maybe it was in reply to a different part of the post or completely misinterpreted altogether. And it does seem like at least to me that when it gets brought up, it is also usually mentioned that I need a real job or that that one doesn’t count or whatever things like that but maybe that is solely meant in addition to the dog walking? Like to help get to the goal? Just kind of seemed like it was instead of it and I should pursue something else. I do seem to recall something about how taxes for self employment as well as renting an apartment were both challenging so I should do something else instead but I think maybe that was just meant for now not forever?

Because I know that you guys have been incredibly supportive of just about everything I’ve ever posted unless it’s stupid or harmful (like eating out so much or the phone or whatever aha) and I really do genuinely appreciate it. So thank you. I honestly think or know you guys are probably some of the most supportive and kind people I’ve met on this site so I’m really not sure why I am viewing everything with such a negative lens lately. I apologize.

And thank you very much. That is very kind of you to say and I really appreciate that. I honestly didn’t really realize you guys thought of me like that and it’s very sweet.

As for the novels...... welp........ sorry..... just wrote two more....

And yeah, I may have been a bit too defensive in my initial post but like I mentioned, I initially viewed it as very negative or mean so that kind of framed my reply. It shouldn’t have but did.

And as for the soul searching/clarification, didn’t really have to be much. I’ve had these same goals and plan and everything for a while and thought about it just as long

I like that quote. That is a good quote. Thank you. I have seen another one similar that said something like “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” But I think I like yours better. Kinder. Doesn’t call people insane hahaha

But I believe I’m both those.

Thank you again. I am glad you think those goals are admirable. That’s a bold statement and very kind so thank you.

As for all the stuff about action, steps, plan, finances, all that..... I have always been AWFUL at that. Maybe that’s why I always fail at everything.

I am the least organized person there is. Always hated lists, schedules, plans, etc. I can never follow it or stick to it. I always just kinda wing it and make it up as I go along and it’s usually worked out fine but I do believe that for a big project/goal like this business thing or really all of the goals, I probably do need some sort of plan or business model. I usually kinda keep a loose one in my head and can think of several of the steps I need to take off the top of my head but I suppose I should probably actually write them down somewhere so I can see them and/or check them off.

I am willing to change if it will help me. I can’t guarantee I will stick to it or follow it though but I can try. It’s just I suck at it so I might just forget I even have it and go off script or not use it just purely on accident even if it’s not intentional. That’s how bad I am at it and how used to not using it I am. Also my big thing, at least with schedules but with plans too, has always been, what if I want to add another step or do something else that isn’t in the plan? Or if something better comes along? Or with the schedule I’m like what if I block this in for this time but then I want to do something else instead or something comes up. But I guess I can always change plans or schedules later? They are not set in stone? Only for good reason though but that’s always been part of my worry. That and I am just plan bad at it. My handwriting is AWFUL too haha Kiki knows. I have never had girly handwriting or been good at coloring or art or color coding or scrapbooking or anything cutesie and girly like that.

I guess that’s unrelated but still. Being organized goes like completely against my nature.

Not that I don’t want to. Just that I’ve tried and it always ends badly.

I am a major work in progress I guess.

As for the job bit, thank you. You are right and I have come to terms with the fact that I need one for this to work haha and I guess that’s true but I guess I was just worried I had to work in some retail or fast food job or get the first job I could find. I guess I kinda thought you guys were just saying to just take the first job that comes along even if it sucks hahah

But maybe I should take my time and apply to ones that I might like?

Obviously not take as much time as I have so far aka getting nothing done but I just mean like maybe I could be at least a little bit selective?

And that’s good to know. I thought maybe it had to be.

And thank you very much, I appreciate that. And I did see the message, thank you for sending it anyway even though I was kind of a jerk and left you hanging all this time. I really do appreciate it and I would love the help. I will reply to that next but right now it is almost 5:40am so that one will have to wait until tomorrow. I am sorry.

Anyway, thank you again.

I think I replied to everyone and if not, I am sorry.



That’s true but I’m not just waiting around. I’m trying to make it happen. Need to try harder but I’ve been looking at jobs and I started making a Rover profile earlier but I need to take a good profile picture to finish it.

As for the middle part, that is all good advice but I am already well aware of that and doing that.

And as for the last part, of course that would be a terrible idea, but when did I ever say I was doing that?

You know, honestly, I know this is 100% well intentioned and this one isn’t at all mean or anything so I’m not saying that and it does feature good advice which I appreciate, but it still honestly feels a little bit condescending or patronizing. Like you think I’m stupid or something.

I might be young but I am not an idiot.

I would never be so naive as to think that last method would be practical at all. I have researched this extensively and tried to figure out how to start it. I got a little bit confused about the tax stuff, sure, but have been trying to read loads and learn as much as I can on how best to start a business like this.

So I’m not at all going into this blind or just leaping in head first with zero preparation or research and hoping for the best like you guys seem to think I am.

I am serious about this and want to see it succeed so I would never do something so stupid and jeopardize the entire thing.

That was never part of plan to just throw a sign up. It is of course stupid and incredibly lazy.

I have already been working on building a client base. I only started doing this just a little over a year ago (May of last year after I graduated) and I only started with my brother’s dog and then moved to both dogs when they got a second dog in September. And since then, actually just since January of this year so even less time, I have already gained two new customers just solely from word of mouth and them seeing what a good job I do with my brother’s dogs. Of course, so far it is just their neighbor, and some family friends, but still. That’s two more clients than I had before. And I haven’t even advertised at all. The business has been growing without me even really doing anything. Just from being good at my job. So with a little bit of advertising and preparation, I imagine it will grow quite a bit more. And every single one of my clients knows a ton of other people with dogs and have all said that they would be more than happy to recommend me to other people and tell them what a good job I do with their dogs.

I also usually always take pictures of their dogs and post them on my personal Facebook and tag them in them. So their friends usually see these pictures too and see the happy, smiling dogs and all the cool stuff I do with them so that’s also helping me to get my name out there. Obviously once the business gets more established, I would not necessarily post them in my personal FB account or befriend every client. I realize that’s a little bit unprofessional and I need to set some boundaries so I would make a business FB page most likely. But for now it works because these are all friends and family members we have known for years that I was already friends with on there anyway. And it gets my name out for now.

So I do not anticipate growth or gaining new clients being a problem at all.

But I am also not arrogant or naive and know that I will still need to get a regular job in the meantime to help support this and pay for some of the business expenses.



Yeah I do that too sometimes but for me I don’t think it’s really that I don’t wanna progress or that it’s not worth the effort, it’s just sometimes I think I can’t. Or that it’s too hard or difficult and give up before I even try. I guess that’s the same thing. Maybe it’s more fear. Or laziness. Idk. Cause sometimes I also just don’t really know or just don’t really take the next step.

For me personally, I definitely want to better myself, and hate where I’m at, so I know it’s not that, but I just can’t. Or I guess don’t. I have a bad habit of just not even trying. And I guess even though I want to improve, there really isn’t any real incentive since I don’t have to pay for anything atm, except stuff I buy with my own money, which I guess is maybe another reason I should move out.

But I also feel like, and maybe I am wrong here, I can’t get a job or really improve much until I work on myself first. Maybe that’s wrong and maybe having a job would help with that. Idk. But currently I don’t even really do much around here so I thought maybe if I started it might help. And/or saw a therapist and got to the bottom of the lack of motivation even if it turns out it is just laziness haha

For me it’s weird cause once I get working, I do a really good job and even tend to overdo it as well as pay really close attention to detail and everything so I’m not really sure it’s a work ethic problem as much as a getting motivated/getting started problem. But then again, that said, I do tend to quit or not even try when something gets hard. But that’s not really lack of work ethic or lack of wanting to do it or whatever I don’t think because usually I do want to keep going and do it but don’t really know how. I just get so overwhelmed and freeze up and quit altogether.

Maybe it’s the lack of confidence bit. Idk. I tend to be extremely overly critical of myself and tell myself I can’t or that my work is shit or whatever.

Also even something simple like reading a book is really hard for me right now because I suck at reading lately. Well, not really lately, but for a while. It’s part of why I didn’t read much in school. It’s not cause I didn’t want to or was lazy (well, that played a slight role) but it was largely that every time I tried, it took me so dang long to read anything and would take hours to read even something short so eventually I just gave up and stopped trying altogether since I was so behind on it anyway. Stupid maybe but read just enough to be able to discuss and paid attention and participated in class so still got good grades. Also oddly I could remember enough to discuss and write good essays even without using the cheat stuff. I just tried to read what I could.

But it takes me embarrassingly long. And I end up just getting frustrated and pissed off and angry at myself so that even pleasure reading isn’t pleasurable or fun anymore. But granted, I haven’t read for fun or for years anyways, but still. I was trying to get back into it recently but it’s just not fun. Sometimes I do force myself and get a few chapters in though.

What happens is I think the OCD has gotten worse as well as just being on the phone too much so that I’ve gotten a little dumber or something so that I get hung up on one word or one sentence forever. I will have to read and reread it over and over and over again. Sometimes, like with textbooks and school stuff, it was because I genuinely didn’t really process or “get” what I just read or didn’t even actually read it even though I was reading/seeing it with my eyes if that makes sense. In those cases, I felt pretty dumb cause I’m usually pretty smart but my brain like shut down and didn’t actually want to read and process it. But usually it’s just because of the OCD or a combination of both to where I just get stuck. I sometimes get stuck with the thoughts in my head or speaking too. I have to repeat stuff over and over and can’t move on to the next thing until I do. It gets really annoying and frustrating and makes it hard to read or do anything.

Sorry, kinda got sidetracked haha



Yeah true

Yes intervention can be rude
Basically a slap up the side of the head from me. ... Trying to snap you out of it. May or may not be effective

I understand being overwhelmed
Start small and work at it most days

 

[sdm111]

I wonder if pythons and tegu eat nutria? Seems like the perfect plan what could go wrong lol

 

[ShrekDawg]

I wonder if pythons and tegu eat nutria? Seems like the perfect plan what could go wrong lol

I’m sure the huge ones do!!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Oh wow those sound like awful living conditions for sure! Those poor horses.

I know it doesn’t seem like it based on my posts but believe it or not, I am at least partly in touch with reality in that I know and am fully aware that this is all bad and I need to change it, I just never seem to be able to. But I guess I need to actually try. Usually I either don’t at all or I do but then it’s too hard, intimidating, overwhelming and I freeze again.

But I do want to change it. I know it seems like I don’t but I do.

Just need to force myself to I guess.

Although I’m not sure shaking is the right answer.

But maybe it is since clearly the gentle, being nice thing hasn’t been working.

I guess some tough love could be good.

But some of the other posts didn’t seem very loving lol but I guess it’s just a different style. Maybe intended with it at least.

But the weird thing is I really do want to change (I know that might be hard to believe based on my actions/posts but it’s true) and honestly feel like shit for having done nothing with my life most of the time but then I can never seem to change or when I try to, I can never seem to stick to it.

And I’ve tried really hard before, not lately, I know, but I did. I kinda gave up cause it never worked.

And I haven’t been sitting doing nothing for forever, I did graduate with an associates degree last year, but even that I kinda just glided through. And it took me way longer than it should have to get it. Like years longer.

Meanwhile other people my age or younger are in med school, vet school, having kids or getting married or whatever, and here I am doing nothing. Even my own brothers, my little one graduated from MIT last year and the older one has his masters already and is about to graduate (next year I think) from a joint program with WHOI and MIT to get his doctorate. He is also the one getting married. And of course has had a good job for a while at the institute he’s doing the program with. And they both have decent jobs. And they’re both relatively normal.

Then there’s me who’s spent years in and out of college, dropped out of the first one in the second year (didn’t even finish the first semester that year) and still only have a two year degree out of all that time, and the only one with mental health/behavioral/learning issues (used to have an IEP too and ADD) or at least noticeable ones.

So I’m definitely already the failure/screwup of the family. At least in my eyes. They don’t treat me like that at all and I’m lucky that they are all very supportive as are my friends, including you guys, I know many people don’t have any of that, but yet I still constantly compare myself to them.



Gladly.

And at the time I did because I honestly thought it was a bit mean and still somewhat do but the difference is now I realize it was probably well intentioned. Or I think.



This one at the time I took it as you guys thinking it was entertaining or something but that was way off base I think. I think it was maybe much more like have good/helpful advice in it??



Well then what does? I’m not saying that to be sarcastic. I genuinely do not know this shit. Honestly I wish I did because I do want to build it. I’m not being willfully ignorant. I genuinely do not know and thought that’s how you built it. I guess I could Google it but honestly that would probably just leave me more confused than before.

That makes sense but I’m not really sure if I’m going to do either of those things anytime soon.

The current car is a lease and I think I might just lease another one when it’s up. And I am truly unsure and need to decide if I want to find an apartment and move out ASAP or if I want to just wait and save and buy a house.

Because honestly, to me, it kind of feels like a waste of my hard earned money (once I get a real job) to just rent an apartment and be throwing money away when I could continue living here rent free and just buy eventually.

That makes the most sense to me and I should probably stay here as long as possible and save as much as I can first.

BUT.

Living here is extremely taxing on my mental health and sanity and is causing me quite a bit of stress.

So I almost feel like it would be worth it to move out sooner rather than later just for that reason alone.

And I honestly feel like I would be way more productive and way happier on my own.

Whenever my parents have gone out of town or whatever, I’m always crazy productive. At least for a while. But when they’re around, I tend to shut down or try to avoid one or both which usually ends up in me in my room or else another room or off driving around constantly.

But I know that’s not good and sounds like just a bunch of excuses, which it kind of is I suppose, so I really need to learn how to be productive despite my circumstances. It just makes it really hard to focus sometimes too.

I need to figure something out because even if I want to go the “move out ASAP” route, I really do not have enough money to do so anytime soon.

Also, hypothetical question, IF I decided to go with the dog business thing, how would you prove the income then? Show the bank statements? This is assuming I have enough clients and it actually is a steady income, like an established business, not needing another job to support it anymore. Do they even accept self employed people? Surely they must since there’s so many now?

This is hypothetical. Obviously for now I would need a real job.

I know that and am well aware but, for whatever reason, whether that’s just laziness or fear or stupidity or what, I can never seem to actually take the next step.

But honestly my parents are like that too. This whole family is a lot of talk and no actual action except my older brother and FSIL who are both real go getter types and, much like you guys, sick of all the inaction around here.

My mother doesn’t have a job either. She’s had some here and there over the years, the most recent one was a few months ago but she quit cause they treated her like shit. She used to have a really good job but then she quit to move up here/raise us and never really got back into it.

So I haven’t really had the best examples.

But I’m not blaming this on them or making excuses or anything. Because I know that the inaction is 100% my fault and just because they live like that doesn’t mean I have to but it’s taken me a while to realize it and also they do tend to enable me and treat me like a child a lot, especially my mother, which doesn’t help the situation any. And I think my mother is also overly dependent on me.

I suppose I should probably hang out with DB and FSIL more.



I guess I maybe misunderstood then. At the time I really thought you did because I laid out the plan for the business and everything and you had then said I had no drive and don’t I want to do something with my life or be somebody so I took that as directly implying that if I go into the animal field, that would be the exact opposite of that and that I would basically be a nobody or going nowhere with my life if I did that. But maybe I took that wrong? If so, I apologize. I strongly felt that way/like you were at the time but I’m assuming I was wrong.



Thanks, I actually did think of that and a family friend sent me a pic of a sign at a local Petco about them needing an apprentice dog trainer but I didn’t look into it until the other day. They sent it about a week and a half ago but then I forgot.

But it doesn’t matter anyway because turns out you need or at least they prefer you to be certified already. Which I don’t really get why you’d need that for an apprentice. I assumed they would train you. So that was disappointing.

And then the school I have been considering going to forever turns out really doesn’t have that good of a certification, not even listed in an article of best certifications for trainers I found, so I looked at one of the ones they prefer, which is one of the top ones, and then another school who is supposed to be like the best according to the article.

But anyway, for the certification for the job, they require or at least mention having work experience. Which I don’t have so that was disappointing and frustrating. Need the certification for a job but need a job to get the certification. Found it odd too for a mostly online program but oh well.

Then the top one is a much more strenuous/rigorous application process and they don’t accept very many people unlike most of these training schools so I doubt I would even get in. It’s one of the best in the world. And it’s also a much more intense two year program instead of 6 months to a year like most other programs. So then when I read that I also spent a lot of time thinking about how I was an idiot for not starting this process sooner and how I could have the damn certification by now.

So then I thought maybe I could at least just be an associate or something but the requirements/responsibilities list for that thing was like a mile long and really intimidated/overwhelmed me and put me off. I don’t think I could do that. And it’s not even laziness. I think I would like the work. I’m always fixing things on shelves/moving stuff to the right spot in stores and I would liking helping customers and taking care of animals and could even do the register. Those responsibilities aren’t so bad but there were just a lot more on there that I wouldn’t have even thought you’d have to do for that job that surprised me. Plus having to know all about every product. And of course suggestive sales techniques. I am waaaaaayyyyyy too nice for that and hate ripping people off or selling them shit they don’t need so I don’t think I would be good at that. And knowing everything intimidates me.

But then my parents did help me realize when I brought it up yesterday that I probably know more and would be a better worker than most of the people in that store currently. Every store says all that stuff but then mostly hire kids who just tell you they don’t know lol meanwhile I have researched just about every animal they sell extensively (because I’ve wanted them all at some point ) as well as extensively researched the best cat and dog foods and of course, I LOVE putting stuff back in the right place and making shelves and things look pretty which I think I mentioned so I’m kind of feeling a bit better about it.

Still may just apply at the movies instead though. Easier, way more fun (more young people and could work at night too, I’m a night owl ha), free movies, and the best part is this one actually happens to have great benefits too so it’s smart too. Not just fun haha

But idk. We’ll see.

Don’t really want to do such an extremely physical job like a groomer because I already get migraines and sometimes physically weak/sick so I think it would just exacerbate the problem. Plus I don’t want to get peed and pooped on and scratched and bitten and soaked haha



You know I can see this, right?

This was extremely rude and unnecessary.

And also quite frankly 100000% false.

I won’t say anymore.



Thank you very much Nana. This is helpful and very kind and thoughtful.

I am sure their posts as well as most of the others were 100% well intentioned but honestly at the time I didn’t really view it as just straight forward or encouraging but it seemed more just mean at the time aha

Still does slightly but now that I’ve had time to process it and think clearer I realize it wasn’t supposed to be. I think they’re just very direct aha but to me it did kind of the exact opposite of encouraging at the time.

But I’ve processed it and realize the actual intentions now ha

Anyway, I am going to try to reply as best I can but it is now almost 5am probably well after by the time I finish this and the Excedrin has definitely worn off quite a bit ago so the clarity/energy is gone and I’m a bit delirious/barely awake but I want to have this post written and posted before everyone wakes up (not that anybody is going to be able to read it one day anyway ) so bear with me haha apologies if I don’t make sense. Can barely see straight let alone think.

As to your first point, I am sure you are 100% correct there and I do appreciate the support but I guess I maybe misinterpreted their intention because at the time it kind of seemed like they were directly implying to work with animals or do that job would be going nowhere in life or whatever since that post was right after I said the goals bit. But maybe it was in reply to a different part of the post or completely misinterpreted altogether. And it does seem like at least to me that when it gets brought up, it is also usually mentioned that I need a real job or that that one doesn’t count or whatever things like that but maybe that is solely meant in addition to the dog walking? Like to help get to the goal? Just kind of seemed like it was instead of it and I should pursue something else. I do seem to recall something about how taxes for self employment as well as renting an apartment were both challenging so I should do something else instead but I think maybe that was just meant for now not forever?

Because I know that you guys have been incredibly supportive of just about everything I’ve ever posted unless it’s stupid or harmful (like eating out so much or the phone or whatever aha) and I really do genuinely appreciate it. So thank you. I honestly think or know you guys are probably some of the most supportive and kind people I’ve met on this site so I’m really not sure why I am viewing everything with such a negative lens lately. I apologize.

And thank you very much. That is very kind of you to say and I really appreciate that. I honestly didn’t really realize you guys thought of me like that and it’s very sweet.

As for the novels...... welp........ sorry..... just wrote two more....

And yeah, I may have been a bit too defensive in my initial post but like I mentioned, I initially viewed it as very negative or mean so that kind of framed my reply. It shouldn’t have but did.

And as for the soul searching/clarification, didn’t really have to be much. I’ve had these same goals and plan and everything for a while and thought about it just as long

I like that quote. That is a good quote. Thank you. I have seen another one similar that said something like “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” But I think I like yours better. Kinder. Doesn’t call people insane hahaha

But I believe I’m both those.

Thank you again. I am glad you think those goals are admirable. That’s a bold statement and very kind so thank you.

As for all the stuff about action, steps, plan, finances, all that..... I have always been AWFUL at that. Maybe that’s why I always fail at everything.

I am the least organized person there is. Always hated lists, schedules, plans, etc. I can never follow it or stick to it. I always just kinda wing it and make it up as I go along and it’s usually worked out fine but I do believe that for a big project/goal like this business thing or really all of the goals, I probably do need some sort of plan or business model. I usually kinda keep a loose one in my head and can think of several of the steps I need to take off the top of my head but I suppose I should probably actually write them down somewhere so I can see them and/or check them off.

I am willing to change if it will help me. I can’t guarantee I will stick to it or follow it though but I can try. It’s just I suck at it so I might just forget I even have it and go off script or not use it just purely on accident even if it’s not intentional. That’s how bad I am at it and how used to not using it I am. Also my big thing, at least with schedules but with plans too, has always been, what if I want to add another step or do something else that isn’t in the plan? Or if something better comes along? Or with the schedule I’m like what if I block this in for this time but then I want to do something else instead or something comes up. But I guess I can always change plans or schedules later? They are not set in stone? Only for good reason though but that’s always been part of my worry. That and I am just plan bad at it. My handwriting is AWFUL too haha Kiki knows. I have never had girly handwriting or been good at coloring or art or color coding or scrapbooking or anything cutesie and girly like that.

I guess that’s unrelated but still. Being organized goes like completely against my nature.

Not that I don’t want to. Just that I’ve tried and it always ends badly.

I am a major work in progress I guess.

As for the job bit, thank you. You are right and I have come to terms with the fact that I need one for this to work haha and I guess that’s true but I guess I was just worried I had to work in some retail or fast food job or get the first job I could find. I guess I kinda thought you guys were just saying to just take the first job that comes along even if it sucks hahah

But maybe I should take my time and apply to ones that I might like?

Obviously not take as much time as I have so far aka getting nothing done but I just mean like maybe I could be at least a little bit selective?

And that’s good to know. I thought maybe it had to be.

And thank you very much, I appreciate that. And I did see the message, thank you for sending it anyway even though I was kind of a jerk and left you hanging all this time. I really do appreciate it and I would love the help. I will reply to that next but right now it is almost 5:40am so that one will have to wait until tomorrow. I am sorry.

Anyway, thank you again.

I think I replied to everyone and if not, I am sorry.



That’s true but I’m not just waiting around. I’m trying to make it happen. Need to try harder but I’ve been looking at jobs and I started making a Rover profile earlier but I need to take a good profile picture to finish it.

As for the middle part, that is all good advice but I am already well aware of that and doing that.

And as for the last part, of course that would be a terrible idea, but when did I ever say I was doing that?

You know, honestly, I know this is 100% well intentioned and this one isn’t at all mean or anything so I’m not saying that and it does feature good advice which I appreciate, but it still honestly feels a little bit condescending or patronizing. Like you think I’m stupid or something.

I might be young but I am not an idiot.

I would never be so naive as to think that last method would be practical at all. I have researched this extensively and tried to figure out how to start it. I got a little bit confused about the tax stuff, sure, but have been trying to read loads and learn as much as I can on how best to start a business like this.

So I’m not at all going into this blind or just leaping in head first with zero preparation or research and hoping for the best like you guys seem to think I am.

I am serious about this and want to see it succeed so I would never do something so stupid and jeopardize the entire thing.

That was never part of plan to just throw a sign up. It is of course stupid and incredibly lazy.

I have already been working on building a client base. I only started doing this just a little over a year ago (May of last year after I graduated) and I only started with my brother’s dog and then moved to both dogs when they got a second dog in September. And since then, actually just since January of this year so even less time, I have already gained two new customers just solely from word of mouth and them seeing what a good job I do with my brother’s dogs. Of course, so far it is just their neighbor, and some family friends, but still. That’s two more clients than I had before. And I haven’t even advertised at all. The business has been growing without me even really doing anything. Just from being good at my job. So with a little bit of advertising and preparation, I imagine it will grow quite a bit more. And every single one of my clients knows a ton of other people with dogs and have all said that they would be more than happy to recommend me to other people and tell them what a good job I do with their dogs.

I also usually always take pictures of their dogs and post them on my personal Facebook and tag them in them. So their friends usually see these pictures too and see the happy, smiling dogs and all the cool stuff I do with them so that’s also helping me to get my name out there. Obviously once the business gets more established, I would not necessarily post them in my personal FB account or befriend every client. I realize that’s a little bit unprofessional and I need to set some boundaries so I would make a business FB page most likely. But for now it works because these are all friends and family members we have known for years that I was already friends with on there anyway. And it gets my name out for now.

So I do not anticipate growth or gaining new clients being a problem at all.

But I am also not arrogant or naive and know that I will still need to get a regular job in the meantime to help support this and pay for some of the business expenses.



Yeah I do that too sometimes but for me I don’t think it’s really that I don’t wanna progress or that it’s not worth the effort, it’s just sometimes I think I can’t. Or that it’s too hard or difficult and give up before I even try. I guess that’s the same thing. Maybe it’s more fear. Or laziness. Idk. Cause sometimes I also just don’t really know or just don’t really take the next step.

For me personally, I definitely want to better myself, and hate where I’m at, so I know it’s not that, but I just can’t. Or I guess don’t. I have a bad habit of just not even trying. And I guess even though I want to improve, there really isn’t any real incentive since I don’t have to pay for anything atm, except stuff I buy with my own money, which I guess is maybe another reason I should move out.

But I also feel like, and maybe I am wrong here, I can’t get a job or really improve much until I work on myself first. Maybe that’s wrong and maybe having a job would help with that. Idk. But currently I don’t even really do much around here so I thought maybe if I started it might help. And/or saw a therapist and got to the bottom of the lack of motivation even if it turns out it is just laziness haha

For me it’s weird cause once I get working, I do a really good job and even tend to overdo it as well as pay really close attention to detail and everything so I’m not really sure it’s a work ethic problem as much as a getting motivated/getting started problem. But then again, that said, I do tend to quit or not even try when something gets hard. But that’s not really lack of work ethic or lack of wanting to do it or whatever I don’t think because usually I do want to keep going and do it but don’t really know how. I just get so overwhelmed and freeze up and quit altogether.

Maybe it’s the lack of confidence bit. Idk. I tend to be extremely overly critical of myself and tell myself I can’t or that my work is shit or whatever.

Also even something simple like reading a book is really hard for me right now because I suck at reading lately. Well, not really lately, but for a while. It’s part of why I didn’t read much in school. It’s not cause I didn’t want to or was lazy (well, that played a slight role) but it was largely that every time I tried, it took me so dang long to read anything and would take hours to read even something short so eventually I just gave up and stopped trying altogether since I was so behind on it anyway. Stupid maybe but read just enough to be able to discuss and paid attention and participated in class so still got good grades. Also oddly I could remember enough to discuss and write good essays even without using the cheat stuff. I just tried to read what I could.

But it takes me embarrassingly long. And I end up just getting frustrated and pissed off and angry at myself so that even pleasure reading isn’t pleasurable or fun anymore. But granted, I haven’t read for fun or for years anyways, but still. I was trying to get back into it recently but it’s just not fun. Sometimes I do force myself and get a few chapters in though.

What happens is I think the OCD has gotten worse as well as just being on the phone too much so that I’ve gotten a little dumber or something so that I get hung up on one word or one sentence forever. I will have to read and reread it over and over and over again. Sometimes, like with textbooks and school stuff, it was because I genuinely didn’t really process or “get” what I just read or didn’t even actually read it even though I was reading/seeing it with my eyes if that makes sense. In those cases, I felt pretty dumb cause I’m usually pretty smart but my brain like shut down and didn’t actually want to read and process it. But usually it’s just because of the OCD or a combination of both to where I just get stuck. I sometimes get stuck with the thoughts in my head or speaking too. I have to repeat stuff over and over and can’t move on to the next thing until I do. It gets really annoying and frustrating and makes it hard to read or do anything.

Sorry, kinda got sidetracked haha



Yeah true

I probably should have broken this one into multiple posts too or put it in a spoiler.

This one might be my longest novel yet.