16 years together but....

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I have a very brave child! So very proud of him. We made it the many miles and back and the tooth fairy did her travelling too. It is 10 degrees outside with wind chill of -16. It isn't supposed to get much better for the next few days so I may move my chickens into the feed shed. My husky mix Railroad was sitting in front of the door to come in when I went out to start dh's truck- that's when you know it's cold out! After hearing dh's yelling why was she in the house my dear Railroad is warming her nose with the children. He let the cat in a few nights ago so housetrained Railroad can be in for a while. Dh doesn't have to vacuum hair so go on I say. Lol. I found a babysitter and as if by coincidence she happens to be my daughter's friend's mom! How crazy is it that I call a number and it isn't exactly a total stranger? That opened up possibility of first shift job so I put in several applications. Cross the fingers I need a job. I'm off to tend the chickens as it is light enough out for me to see. Happy cluckin til next time....
 
I feel a job outside the home is just what you need. Those of us who have done the stay at home mum thing will well remember the day when it just wasn't enough any more. We wanted to be more than 'his wife' and 'their mum'. We wanted 'ourself' back, and particularly those of us who married and become mums very young. I went back to work at 39 years old and forged a completely absorbing career for myself, as well as raising the standard of living of my family. Also, I was able to secure a decent pension for myself which has left us a lot better off than we would have been had I not returned to work. My last advice is this. Start to respect yourself for all that you are and all that you have achieved and those around you will also respect you more.
 
Yes, I need more self worth and a job will do that. Dh hasn't been talking to me even if i try. He didn't know that i found a babysitter so i can apply for 1st shift also until he overheard a conversation between myself and his sister-in-law. He actually seemed upset that I am making progress. Now I must see if he'll pay for gas in my truck so that I will be able to resume job search and get to a job until first pay. It's confusing really. Dh wanted me to get a job but seems to not really want me to have a job. It is something he can't control (maybe so on the initial gas thing) and perhaps he feels although he won't be alpha anymore. I just don't want to be totally dependent on him anymore. Then I won't have to hear a snide remark about how I live here for free.
 
I thought there might have been progress the other night- he sent me a text goodnight after he had gone to bed. When i sent a 'goodnight' back he sent one saying the next day was payday so could he get a ...! I won't write it out here but read between the lines. So i asked why, because of payday or because u love me? No reply so I went to sleep. What a way to make someone feel like a prostitute. And no, I am not a big spender and everyone else comes b4 me when shopping. I stay at home so why do i need new clothes, etc? Heck, my socks have heel holes and my shoes are 25 cents clogs from a thrift store. I won't spend lots of money on me because it isn't necessary. I'm not perfect either but i think i deserve some respect if only from kids and self. Happy cluckin to all......
 
I am sorry for your marital troubles. If it helps ,I have been at it for 25 years and its still a work in progress. Neither one of us is even close to perfect, and we have typical couples spats over $$$ and comunication etc. So even though we outwardly look like the perfect couple we are far from it.

The job idea is great, you will probably enjoy it.

Now as for your quilting. Wow talk about talent. That is amazing. You have a super talent there!!! I enjoyed the pics so much, thankyou for posting.
 
Thank u! I just put some quilt tops for sale in the local paper. I've never sold projects b4 but figured i'd see how it goes. I just couldn't part with the 'fall' top so one of these days i'll get around to quilting it.
 
Story of the night- dh asks what needs to be paid since i usually do the doling out of bill money and organizing what gets paid when. I tell him which bills and amounts. "So how much of that are you paying?" He asks. I have to have a job first i reply and get a sneer in return. We both smoke so i had opened the new carton he had placed on the counter and gotten a pack. "Why are you getting into my cigarettes?" He asks. This has always been another area that he holds against me when he feels I am out of line. One of these days I may get up the gumption to quit just so he can't use them as a weapon anymore!:) On to other matters... my chickens have been content in the relative warmth of the feed shed. It's also less exposure for me while tending them in snow and sleet. Dh, once again overhearing a conversation, found out that i had moved them into the shed for the first time. They've been in there for a week now! He doesn't tend any animals, not even 'his' dog, so he rarely goes into the feed shed. When we bought this property a few years ago the current feed shed was just an outbuilding. When i mentioned cleaning it out for use the people we bought the property from suggested just burning it down. I found out why..a mummified dog was in there!! Well, I cleaned out the building with a bit of help from the kids. Dh was working on cleaning garage. Sooo building became my feed/storage shed as dh said it wasn't worth using. He did find room for a few of his items though, lol. He just happens to think i'm nuts for the consideration i give to the animals and was wondering how i had 6 chickens in there. I'm sure he was picturing chickie poo on his equipment;-) Happy cluckin til next time...
 

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