16 yr old toooo big for his britches!!!!!!

[redhen]

Quote:
Let me give it to you from another prospective.... I take in "last chance" teens only. I've gotten my group home license and have 5 teenaged foster kids ranging from 14-18 and one of them has a two year old living with us.... Then I have my own teenage son, and 9 year old son.......

Talking like that? Full stop, go to your room. See, I am mean. I don't worry about the electronics in their room when they get grounded because I trip the breaker. IPODS & Cell phones... Yup, I take those like somebody else suggested.... Not taking their medicine and lying are in the same league of trouble in this house... and that's usually a week without privileges.

According to Johnny Law in the state of Michigan, at 16 he can't make his own choices like moving out. At 18 yes, 16 no. Can he get into trouble with the law? Yup. If I were you I'd do this......

Force him to ride the bus. FULL STOP
Force him to give up talking to his girl friend till his attitude improves. FULL STOP
Call his GF's parents and explain problems. Make sure they understand that if he does indeed run away to live with them you will prosecute them if they do not cooperate with you. FULL STOP
Statutory Rape charges will be pressed.... FULL STOP

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but the GF's parents may not understand the problem until you either talk to them about it or threaten prosecution. The law is on your side here. You may not have to go this harsh, but I am giving you a what I would do if I was as frustrated.

Good luck

I'm with you Boyd! I think we both work with the last chance type kids...and my foster company TELLS us to be very firm and VERY consistant...AND to give them consequences..
So your not being mean if you take his privlidges away...your teaching him there ARE consequences for each and EVERY behavior that they have...
If they are trustworthy and not sneaky and havent lied to you..then they get more trust...
if they lie and sneak...they get NO trust..period!
Let them know that it IS in their hands...its THEIR choice...they can make their life hard...OR they can be truthful and respectful and follow your house rules and have an easy life with privledges with trust...its their choice in the end. Good luck!


And..I, myself, would take it a step further..since he wants to be a sneak involving things with this GF..he would NOT see her...UNTIL he gets it through his head that you are serious...there will be no more sneaking.. or he cant see her.
AND.. i'd tell him that if he REALLY cares about her and wants to see her..then he'll smarten up...again..the choice is his...

 

[Boyd]

 

[countrygirl4513]

Well, the chicken poo hit the fan. We told him he was grounded for a month, basically on house arrest. We gave him the chance to defend himself but he didn't. He knew about the driving situation since last night. His GF told him to tell me but he chose not to. Therefore, he has to pay the piper.
Before we got into it, we told him calmly that we loved him and we are trying to mold him into a respectful upstanding young man, it's our job to do so. But we won't tolerate disrespect, lying etc from him. He just sat there!!!!!!!! He never said anything. He just sulled up. That is until we told him he's on house arrest for a month. And that means everything! He finally spoke up and said, "I'm going to the game friday" I said you aren't going anywhere at all. That's when he jumped up slammed doors, put a dent in my refrigerator cranked his stereo up etc. Until DH went in and took the stereo out of his room.
Chickerdoodle13, he is on the pump. The most advanced one out there. Omni pod. But it hasn't helped. It does keep his BS a little better, at least he's getting a basal rate throughout the day.
We've given him every advantage and we still get nothing from him. He knows the consequences a man from our church sat him down and showed him, he lost his leg to D. He's also on dialysis(sp?) Jon just doesn't care. I asked him point blank "Does your behavior have anything to do with you being mad at the world cuz you have D?" He says no. I know deep down he is mad. But we keep telling him he has to own his disease, don't let it own you. But we get NOWHERE! We should've sent him to camp the first year, but we were so green about the whole thing. He says he doesn't want to talk to anyone about D, not even kids his own age with it.
All I can say is, God help us. Please give us the wisdom and strength to stand our ground and do what's right.

 

[Boyd]

judging by his reaction i'd say he got your message. Did you call the other mom yet? Teen boys are so impulsive

 

[baltimoreharps]

Oh, the slamming doors, stomping, putting dents in things sounds familiar all right! I lol'd out loud when I read about dh taking the stereo! I can just imagine how well THAT went over!
Good job, Mom and Dad!!
Now, just remember that when you get up tomorrow, he's NOT going to forget and he's going to push every defiant button you have with him..don't cave in and don't back down.

I'm not sure how much I'll be around tomorrow, my dh has given me his strep throat he had this weekend, but know that you'll be in my prayers.



Chickerdoodle, I'd love to hear more about your thoughts. We've thought about getting a pump for the oldest, his endo isn't thrilled about it because until about 2 months ago, he wasn't actively trying to do anything with sugar control. He was so high on bloodsugars that high was his norm.

He's gone through a second session of diabetes education, and has a better idea of how and why insulin works better when you take it before you eat.
One postive on this side is that now he can tell when he has a high reading. That has been years in the making!!

 

[countrygirl4513]

Ya'll D parents need to check out this site, www.myomnipod.com
This is the pump that Jon is on, it's tubeless and it's fantastic!

 

[Luvin Life]

IMO you are doing a great job!!

I had the same problem with my son. We even went as far as taking the door off of the bedroom. Hang in there, it's a tough road, but we got your back!!