No, no - it wasn't him. He's in a small town in MN and the person who wrote on here about express mail usually only going out once a day was probably right about this situation too. He's not to blame. He actually even put a stuffed toy duck in with her and her poop was on it and they don't usually poop for a day or two - I don't think mine have in the past. That's just it - I wanted to go back to the past. I wanted Goosie back, who ended up flying away (Canada and I always have the migratory bird paperwork.) I wanted what I wanted and the way I wanted it. I had to work to be the jerk I've come to be. Her short little life was spent in a box with a mom who couldn't keep her warm. OMG I am so sorry!! If only I could go back and not have done this. I put her in the brooding box I had set up. I still have the lamp on, I don't know why. She is stiff all over now. I put her fake mom, the stuffed toy duck in next to her. My husband will bury them together when he gets home. I am the one to blame. I was selfish and wanted what I wanted and wouldn't listen to anyone and she suffered because of it. Her short little life was him pinioning her and her freezing in a box. And how can I see that V in the sky without thinking of her, Tuely Belle. I had named her in my mind last night so I'd have a name to pray for. I her wrong. I caused her to suffer and die. Thank you all for saying you are sorry. I read them in my email and cry again. Please don't laugh at me, but I even put her deep in my bra, between my breasts after holding her in the oven, just in case, just in case. It worked once with a bantam chicken my husband found in the water. It was limp with his head hanging back and I was working outside and just did it without thinking, because it's very warm in there. I'm overweight and matronly. I bent over to pick some dandelions and my forgotten drowned chick dropped out, cheeped and ran back to the other chickens. That's kind of a funny story, I guess. Thank you all so so much for caring. Sometimes we just need someone to care even if it was my own fault and you are all being very kind to be careful not to say anything judgemental. You know we yell at ourselves in our minds - no one knows how bad I was to do this than I do.
