A good book for women

[GrayDragon]

Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Lots of good discussion on mythological archetypes, why women should be more willing to trust their instincts, and some good folktales besides. To often women are taught to ignore their instincts because it isn't 'nice' and they don't want to be 'rude'. I pulled a girlfriend out of a bar one time after her drink had been spiked. She said that the guy who bought her the drink was giving off a creepy vibe, but she didn't want to be rude by refusing the drink and telling him to take a hike. Fortunately, she was there with friends.

I tell folks, your instincts are there for a reason. Trust them. They'll keep you out of a dangerous situation and protect you far more than any keychain alarm ever would.



http://www.amazon.com/Women-Wolves-Clarissa-Pinkola-Estes/dp/0345409876

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I always listen to my gut. If I come across rude when telling someone NO, too danged bad.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

I know a lot of women get in situations that turn bad because they didn't want to appear rude or crazy. Imagine being alone in an elevator and a guy gets in who just looks plain scary? Or your walking home from school and a guy is following behind you, raising alarm bells but otherwise doing nothing? I can't tell you how many times I've stayed in a situation when my gut told me not to. Mostly, nothing happens. Sometimes it does. Now I have 3 kids. I bolt from those situations now, because I'm willing to look crazy or rude for my kids.

 

[Scoop]

I found out someone I know really is a creepy weirdo, just as I has suspected. Yep, when they look loony, they almost certainly are!

 

[Crusty McPottydoodle]

Quote:
I read a really great article, but won't post a link to it because this is a family forum and respect that not all parents share my belief system. That said, the following is part of a comment by aliciamaud74 (I must give credit where it is due) on that article that I think is extremely relevant.

My 17 year old students are generally (initially) alarmingly resistant to discussions of feminism—they’re scared to alienate each other and ill informed about the term. But, a few years ago I decided to start our unit with some basic questions about gender: do you think you should feel safe in your workplace? do you think men and women should have equal access to education? The last question I include on the survey, adapted from Jean Kilbourne’s Can’t Buy Me Love, is “You’ve parked your car in a far off lot at the mall. You’re now leaving, and it’s late. List the steps you take as you walk to your car to keep yourself safe.” In each of the 10-12 groups of students I’ve taught since, the girls scribble furiously for several minutes, while the boys say things like, “Wait, is this a dangerous neighborhood?” or “Wait, I don’t understand the question” or “What do you mean, ’safe’?”When the girls share what they have written (ways to carry keys, avoiding parking near vans people can hide in and grab you, not walking past bushes, dialing nine-one on their phone and keeping it in their hand in case they need to dial that last one, carrying piping hot coffee they could hurl at someone in a pinch, singing loudly so people don’t walk near them), the boys are inevitably shocked, and say things like “I have never even HEARD of that!” It’s VERY illuminating for students, and often the first time they have ever considered how different the worlds in which we live actually are.​

 

[deb1]

Always follow your instincts. That is hard sometimes to do. I have a difficult time being mean myself.

Here is a fact that is scary. Ted Bundy-there serial killer- played on women's kind side to lure then into his vehicle. He would wear a cast and ask his victims to help him put things in his car. How many of us would hesitate to help? Even if you got a feeling that something was wrong, there are many women who simply would feel uncomfortable not helping someone in need.

 

[lauralou]

That funny feeling you get that something is wrong - that's a primitive survival instinct. Heed it and survive!

 

[GrayDragon]

Once upon a time, at a school dance, a young man came up and asked me to dance with him. He gave off that creepy vibe to me, and I turned him down.

My friends gave me hell for that. I got home, and my mom gave me further hell. 'Don't you know how much guts it takes to ask someone to dance? You should at least have danced with him once!'

Never one to heed the voice of authority, a couple years later when that same young man asked me out, I again turned him down. I got the same hell again, with 'you could have at least met him at a public place or something'.

That young man is currently in jail for raping and murdering a young girl.

Sometimes, it pays to be 'rude'.

 

[deb1]

Here is my own story. I was baby sitting in a trailer park. The people that I was sitting for were going to be gone most of the night.

Late that night, some men knocked on the door. I told them that I would not open the door. They told me that a car was on fire and that they needed to use the phone. I refused to let them in. They grew annoyed and started telling me that I was endangering people. So, I told them I would call the fire department myself.

At the time, there was no 911 in our area(I don't even know if there was a 911 anywhere) So, I had to look up the fire department in the phone book. The woman who answered told me that there was no such street as the guys had claimed. She then asked me questions about where I was. I explained that I was the last trailer in a trailer park. She told me not to open the door that if there had been a fire, the men would have gone to the first trailer they came to, not walk all the way to the last one.

Because there was no 911, she didn't send a police car, although I realize now that I should have made a report.(I was only 15 or 16)

Later the same guys came back and angrily told me that the owner had promised them a pack of cigs. I again refused to let them in.

I never baby sat at that house again. Sometimes I wonder if I had been 'nice' and opened the door, if I would have become one of the missing girls that you sometimes hear about.

 

[AngieChick]

I firmly believe that people give off subtle signals that we subconsciously pick up on. It may be just too fast of a facial expression change to register consciously. But, it's there. At night, it could be a very abrupt, subtle sound. We won't know why we are "creeped out", but there could be a very good reason. Our "gut" feelings are merely our brains picking up on those signals.

There is an interesting RadioLab on Lying that is very enlightening: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/ It's the one titled "Deception" on the right hand side.