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I feel like there will never be a total cure. I feel like it will be like what an addict goes through. Like this is something I will have to worry about the rest of my days.
My illness didn't just slip up on me like some kid wanting to be thin. I am not dissing anyone who has devoloped the illness this way because I'm sure its just as devasting, but I remember the day and time my illness started. It was exactualy the time I was assaulted. I did not know it at the time what was wrong with me except I wouldn't eat and starved myself. Of cource I found out later that with the PTSD and depression and I had developed the disorder.
There has been so many rumors going on about me. The most common one is that I have cancer and I'm dying from it. There has been so many people come to the house to talk with Snakeman and offer there help since I supposedly have cancer. The one that takes the cake is a guy that showed up with flowers to offer his condolence to Snakeman since he said he was out of town and just found out I had died and he was sorry he had missed the service.
I guess in peoples eyes that is something that they can understand. Since I broke the story a couple of years ago about the "AROREXIA" {after the whole cancer ordeal} there has not been one person that has been to the house to offer any help or prayers. This has been the one of many negative acts in my recovery. Snakeman is pretty famous around here and is known by many people for his snake shows and the nuromous shows he puts on here on the property. I am sure this is why he has gotton so many people wanting to concole him. Anorexia just shows you the prejudice that surrounds this illness. Its not contagious guys.
Beside being stared at like I was a crack addicted meth head{or whatever they are calling the dope this week} one of the worse parts was to buy cloths I had to shop in the childrens dept.
There is another rumor going around our small community that is rather humorous. The rumor is I am a lisenced vet. People show up all the time with sick or injured animals begging for my help. I can sorta see how this rumor got started since I am always treating or nursing a animal back to health. I guess the cancer rumor got started because of my weight lose and the way I looked.
To anyone that may be suffering with this problem just remember that there is "HOPE." For such a small word it has a huge meaning.
Remember one thing and it will get you over the rough spots,
negative talk is cheap.
its the talk from positive folk that goes the longest way in a recovery.
I am truely sorry you have had to endure this for so long.
I am very happy to hear you are at a turning point, the weight gain is a huge step.
And might I add you are definately stronger than you are giving your self credit for.
it takes amazing strength to come out and say you have a problem and it take incredible strength to pull ones self out of such a place.
Good on YOU .
heres to 102 !