Advice? SIS and SSI

[saddina]

chickensducks&agoose :

we've gotten FS before, and it really did make things so much better. I worried less, the kids were happier, the fridge was fuller. DH used to be in the trades, and around here, everyone gets laid off in november and re-hired in april, (building season)... so those months were very, very lean, with him trying to find work, even commuting hours to have a job. And as a stay at home mom of 3, with really no education (got pregnant at 19, and am sloooowly making it through CC), finding a job around here is hard, and DH isn't fit to stay at home with the kids.... So, anyway, I just wanted to put in my opinion that FS isn't just for moochers/cheats... sometimes it is the only thing that keeps the heat on AND food on the table.

Oh dear,

if you genuinely need them due to circumstance, that's why they're there. But to ask someone to commit fraud is wrong. Most of the girls I worked with were on aid, and attending college to get off aid and improve thier situation. That's far different than deciding you're disabled so you don't need to work.​

 

[PineappleMama]

^ Precisely. If my hubby lost his job *knock on head* then I wouldn't have a problem applying for help. Because I know that we've been paying into that system for exactly that reason! But on the same note, the minute he got a job I'd be letting them know (as per the law) and not taking any money from others that need it more than we do.

There is a huge difference between getting help when you need it and demanding support so you don't have to work. The truth of that statement can be easily seen in my sis, and the BF too... both have had amble opportunity for employment but they will not even interview... for anything that isn't under the table. THOSE kinds of work are okay now and again because that income isn't traced and therefor will have no effect on your benefit status. Jobs like that are great when you are hankering for new kicks (last time I helped my sister move she had over two hefty bags -the black yard size- full of nothing but shoes) or as has been the case in the past, drugs. The ONLY reason I've never been tempted to turn her in for FS fraud (using your FS to pay rent, get cash from others is fraud) is because it would hurt her kids and they SO don't deserve any more hurt.

This is just one more piggy bank for her to break. One more crutch. She's already got FS for food, child support for spending money, and has no guilt at all about leeching a place to stay off others. But, she's running out of suckers, so she has to get more cash. Rather than going on a single job interview, her OR BF, she applied for this. I don't think her getting another check is going to motivate her in any way to get a job, get her degree, etc. any more than having the other aid has in the last ... 7 years. But I guess we'll see.

It is people like that that I have a problem with. Folks like you, or me, that ask for help when needed, that doesn't bother me in the least... that's what communities are for.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Quote:
It doesn't sound like her kids are in all that great a situation now. Allowing her to continue in FS fraud only teaches that kids that that is an acceptable behavior. Seeing their mom busted might teach them a better path.

to you for having to deal with this trauma. And while I am not a stay at home mom, my sister was until this year. It is a HUGE job. Don't knock your hard work. You are likely working your keister off raising your kids up right and providing for your family.

 

[smileybritches]

ok i am going to post something that some may not agree with---from her history as stated she may very well have mental issues. i am NOT being funny or cute or trying to be insulting. but if the girl can't hold a job, keeps getting preg., and doesn't grasp the concept of right and wrong something is not right with her.

 

[PineappleMama]

Oh she has issues all right. But I honestly think they lean more towards entitlement than true chemical imbalance.

Could be wrong, I am NOT a doctor. But I have known her since birth. Her 'problems' only crop up when she doesn't get her way. When Dad or Mom doesn't hand over cash, new car, free ride on her command. She knows that our bloodlines contain addictive personalities... smoking, drinking, drugs... there's all that but mostly it was booze in our house growing up and knowing that she does not drink for fear of being an alcoholic. But, she didn't hesitate to start with drugs. I think had she seen what those do then maybe she wouldn't have started, but there you go.

She's also of the opinion that there's absolutely nothing wrong with smoking pot. Now, again not a doc, so I'm not talking about health wise. But she knows perfectly well that if caught she faces jail time, fines, and losing her kids and yet she blows that off as a never-gonna-happen kind of thing. She's laid off the harder stuff, thankfully, but she still does this crap whenever possible just for giggles. That, to me, is a sure sign of irresponsibility. CPS has been involved with her in the past, when she was on hard drugs, but they said themselves that they really don't care about pot smokers. That has NOT helped in getting her to quit doing the crap. Gah I wanted to smack the agent that said that... and it was just the one... but that's the one she listened to. Gotta love that selective hearing right?

Kiddo wise. They are staying with what appear to be nice people. They have a roof over their heads. Thanks to FS they have food in their bellies. Thanks to child support on DD they have clothes, diapers, etc. DD is in school using that address. So, I don't know what I could call and report. They prolly feel insecure, never having a place of their own, moving alot, etc. but it's not a crime to move kids. If it was no one in the military would be allowed to have them.

So, at this point I think the best thing I can do is stay the heck out of it, give the kids all the hugs I can, and hope to hades she gets her act together. If I report her for FS fraud then she might (slight chance) serve jail time, but more likely will just have to make payments until all the funds she got plus fines are paid back. There was a neighbor across from my uncle who's daughter had this happen. And they didn't do it on purpose, they simply didn't call them fast enough when he did find a job, they waited until his first check came in. But they were on them quick! (not complaining, they did technically break the law but meanwhile years worth of abuse by others is ignored). Sis knows about that couple, knows what they had to pay, and yet she's still up to this.

Meh, sorry, got to rambling. Point is that she's never had to work for anything. Tantrums, literally on the floor fists and feet flying, got her what she wanted. So, as an adult she figures the same should still apply. And, should anyone tell her different then she simply does not hear it. Gah, what a mess.

Appreciate the ears, sometimes it helps just to let the ramble out.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Have you considered offering the kids a home? Be careful in how you present it so that your sister does not think the invitation extends to her. But you could offer them some stability that they do not get from her. She might be more than willing to give up a responsibility if it is presented in the right way.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Thats called Drugs...
And i dont think being addicted to drugs should qualify you for free money and benefits.... (sadly.. alot of losers DO get SSI for being druggies... makes me want to vomit..)
Just saying...

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

I think I would let the food stamp place know she is not living with you. I wouldnt let her use your address. I would take all mail and write "Not at this address, Return to sender" on them.

Dont get caught up in her fraud. If you accept $50 of her foodstamps as payment then you can also get in trouble.

I wish you luck..

 

[schellie69]

I tried to get SSI because I am unable to work due to health issues and was denied I am not sure if she will even get SSI but, I don't think she should be able to use your address so she can sit back and get "free" money I have been trying for 6 years to get disability and I am not able to I don't see how some people just seem to walk in nothing really wrong and get it but someone who has worked and can't due to health issues they drag their case out until they just give up and getting food stamps for a child she does not even have living with her. is wrong I think the wrong message is getting send to her DD that its okay to live like this. I know my youngest which we got when he was 4 his birth mother thought drugs we okay to do in front of him it was okay to move him around and have him up during the day while she slept. he had some attachment problems but now he is 14 and doing very well but I would have hated to see what would have happened had she got to keep him I would tell her no on using the address and she needs to change the address for the food stamps. until someone shows her that she can't have her way or tells her no she is going to keep doing this stuff. sorry just had friends that did this and I always try and play by the rules and it seems that the ones that lie steal and cheat get the help and the ones that play by the rules don't hope you can find a way to tell your sister no without causing problems

 

[PineappleMama]

When she applied for FS she was living in B---- and was sort of paying her own way with her child support and help from our mom... then she decided that moving to just outside Austin sounded like a good idea... BF had some friends down there they could stay with, and "a job waiting' suffice it to say neither one worked a day while they were down there. Prolly explains why their friends mysteriously wouldn't let them come back... I was told a story about some other person that didn't want them there... meanwhile they sat up here in DFW for nearly two weeks before putting DD in school. Mind in the move down there she missed a week. ANYWHO, it was when she moved that she changed her mailing address to ours. We did NOT fill out any sort of thing about her living here, income, nothing. So I figured it was just mailing that she changed? Anywho, supposedly the SS worker told her she HAD to use her addy for that for SS too... and judging by the handwriting on that form he (maybe she but looks like a guy's scribble) filled it out. Including the bit on the BACK where it says she's contributing $300/MO... funny she told me to write down $50 on the front... after reading through the thing (hadn't bothered up 'til now because I hadn't planned to sign it) it looks like they planned for me to say she was giving us $350/mo total in 'rent'... which would amount to $4200/yr and would definitely draw the attention of FAFSA and/or IRS onto our bums. NO THANK YOU!

DD has lived with us before, CPS order. Thing about that though is that Mom's Opinion is all that matters. When she didn't like that DD started saying please and thank you (I'm guessing she took this as a knock to her own parenting skills) she told CPS she wanted to move DD to a stranger -to DD- house. N'mind that they had positive drug tests for multiple substances. Nope, Mama wasn't happy so screw the kid staying in one place with family, her BFF -our 7yo DD- and a great school.

But even without CPS stuff, she does not want to give up her kids. She gives them up, particularly DD, then she loses income. No income, no new clothes, new shoes, gas in the car, or any fun either. I mean, she would have to get a JOB... nope, can't have that so she clings to DD. She knows she won't get squat out of the BF ala the new baby so I don't know how that one's going to play out. Her middle son lives with his dad and there's no way in hades he's ever going to let her have even shared custody. He went to court to assure that, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Guy is a goob, but he does love his boy.

Oh the drama... sheesh and they wonder why I'm actually looking forward to moving to the boonies "so DH can finish his degree" (well it IS true that we'd be a lot closer to the needed school but being further out would have some bonuses too, IE this crap)