after Chickenstock had to face 1 mad husband
- Thread starter sumatra
- Start date
Reading this post I thought two thing one, I hurt for you and wish I was there to give your husband a swift kick in the butt, and 2nd thought I am so thankful that my DH supports my hobbies weather they are important to him or now he listens to me and helps me. just like I listen and help him with his hobby he loves the fact that we have fresh eggs and soon vegetables instead of store bought junk. I hope things get better for you and will put in some prayers for you glad to hear your trip went well and you enjoyed yourself and don't let your husband get you down you and what you care about are very important don't let him take that away from you...
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I think y'all need marriage counseling. He needs to respect you and your hobbies--he doesn't have to like or enjoy your hobbies, but he needs to respect that you do. Marriage is supposed to be a committment to each other; sounds like he is committed to you serving him. Do the two of you do anything for fun together?
Why did he need to use your van if he has his own (you mentioned two vans)? Seems like you should each be driving your own cars most of the time.
It also sounds like the two of you have vastly different ideas about cleanliness and/or tidiness. Perhaps you can find some middle ground?
It sounds like he is angry that you have an activity that does not center around him. It would be one thing if it took all your waking hours, and you never spent time with him, but when you lay out his schedule and choices, it sounds more like he does not spend time with you tan the other way round.
I think y'all need marriage counseling. He needs to respect you and your hobbies--he doesn't have to like or enjoy your hobbies, but he needs to respect that you do. Marriage is supposed to be a committment to each other; sounds like he is committed to you serving him. Do the two of you do anything for fun together?
Why did he need to use your van if he has his own (you mentioned two vans)? Seems like you should each be driving your own cars most of the time.
It also sounds like the two of you have vastly different ideas about cleanliness and/or tidiness. Perhaps you can find some middle ground?
It sounds like he is angry that you have an activity that does not center around him. It would be one thing if it took all your waking hours, and you never spent time with him, but when you lay out his schedule and choices, it sounds more like he does not spend time with you tan the other way round.
PurpleChicken
Rest in Peace 1970-2018
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Ditto!
Ditto!
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The thing is I bet half the husbands or wives are not as into our hobbies as we are. My husband is not into animals. he doesn't hate them he just doesn't have a need for them like I do. He could live his whole life and never have a chicken or a farm fresh egg and he would never care. BUT he knows it makes me happy and he does everything he can including putting up with smelly chicks in the house because it makes me happy. ( its not for looks or young age because I have gotten older, I have gained weight and frankly 4 kids are hell on the body) On my side I don't care if he uses a straight razor or does leather working. I was happy when he used disposables. But it makes him happy and relaxed so I support and listen to him. Do I get bored. yes! Does he get bored. Yes! But its a give and take. Its not a take and take. Thats not healthy.
Don't put yourself down. He seems to be making you feel down about yourself enough. Don't help him with it. Don't let yourself stay down either. Give yourself an hour to be totally in the dumps about it. Cry, get it out of your system. Then you go back to doing what you love and what makes you happy with a vengeance. Be happy with a vengeance. You might even freak him out of his negative funk because his funk no longer affects you.
Don't put yourself down. He seems to be making you feel down about yourself enough. Don't help him with it. Don't let yourself stay down either. Give yourself an hour to be totally in the dumps about it. Cry, get it out of your system. Then you go back to doing what you love and what makes you happy with a vengeance. Be happy with a vengeance. You might even freak him out of his negative funk because his funk no longer affects you.
And while you are at it, tell US all about your trip! What you saw, what it was like... I live in the middle of nowhere and don't get to do stuff like that. And I never go to the auctions here because that is ASKING for trouble
So remember it all and let me see it through your eyes! Your DH may not want to hear it, but I do!
I read your post, and as another member said, I hurt for you and want to cry, and at the same time I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, who tolerates all of my poultry related ventures.
Posts like this one remind me what a wonderful man I married, and how blessed I am. My husband does have his own hobbies and interests, but he still takes the time to ask me if I at least had fun at a chicken/poultry related event (though I did think for a minute I was going to sleeping in the barn when I brought a goat home).
I once made the mistake of NOT showing my husband what I brought home. His comment to me was, "Well, aren't you going to show me what you brought home, or don't you want me to see it?"
I don't think you're the cause of the problem, not even your chickens are. It sounds like he's only thinking of himself, and maybe he doesn't realize how badly he made you feel.
When you get the chance, try telling him how hurt you felt.
Posts like this one remind me what a wonderful man I married, and how blessed I am. My husband does have his own hobbies and interests, but he still takes the time to ask me if I at least had fun at a chicken/poultry related event (though I did think for a minute I was going to sleeping in the barn when I brought a goat home).
I once made the mistake of NOT showing my husband what I brought home. His comment to me was, "Well, aren't you going to show me what you brought home, or don't you want me to see it?"
I don't think you're the cause of the problem, not even your chickens are. It sounds like he's only thinking of himself, and maybe he doesn't realize how badly he made you feel.
When you get the chance, try telling him how hurt you felt.
Funny thing about self pity? It's like a snowball down the mountain it' just gets bigger and bigger.
But ya gotta look at things a little different. These days if one or the other wants out they just go. So if he really thought you were old and ugly he's have left by now.
As for the animals keep it under control. It is so hard to get carried away.
To many times I read what's being said and it's seems DW and DH arent' together, their in competition with each other. Keeping score like some ball game.
You ever get upset with DH? Betcha do.
The bible says to overcome evil with good. Evil doesn't always mean extremely bad. Not getting along can be evil.
So how to overcome his bad mood. Do something nice that he likes. Make his favorite dinner , compliment him on something he does. If he makes a snide remark just ignore it and say I love you "I didn't purposely do anything to upset you." If he likes peas out of a can and that's the only vegetable then don't grow peas.
It never hurts to say I'm sorry once in awhile.
Hope things get better
Rancher
But ya gotta look at things a little different. These days if one or the other wants out they just go. So if he really thought you were old and ugly he's have left by now.
As for the animals keep it under control. It is so hard to get carried away.
To many times I read what's being said and it's seems DW and DH arent' together, their in competition with each other. Keeping score like some ball game.
You ever get upset with DH? Betcha do.
The bible says to overcome evil with good. Evil doesn't always mean extremely bad. Not getting along can be evil.
So how to overcome his bad mood. Do something nice that he likes. Make his favorite dinner , compliment him on something he does. If he makes a snide remark just ignore it and say I love you "I didn't purposely do anything to upset you." If he likes peas out of a can and that's the only vegetable then don't grow peas.
It never hurts to say I'm sorry once in awhile.
Hope things get better
Rancher
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Ditto....
but last time my DH complained about the condition of a vehicle after i used it i said... FINE and bought a new $30,000 vehicle and handed him the bill ! dont peeze me off it will cost you!
LOVE IT!
Ditto....
but last time my DH complained about the condition of a vehicle after i used it i said... FINE and bought a new $30,000 vehicle and handed him the bill ! dont peeze me off it will cost you!
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