alcohol related-need advice--UPDATE 1-2-2008

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I have many alcohol and drug addicts in my family and it scares the tar out of me. I am afraid to drink. Everyone has given good advice on here so there is not much more to say. I will just caution you on getting too involved. As bad as that sounds sometimes they can really drag you down with them emotionally. My brother was a drug addict from a young age and all the way through I tried and tried to help him. It was a hard situation for me. I love him but it was killing me to see him like that and no matter what we did it just didn't help. Trying to get him in rehab was near impossible because of financial and insurance situations. It took a 1 yr. prison stay to get it through to him. Thank God he is drug free now. But there were times I would have rather him pass on than to see him suffer anymore. It is such a sad situation and my prayers are with you. Don't forget to put your family and yourself first. Then give what you can to her. I hope she is sincere with you about he desire to be sober and not just coming to you because she has burnt every other bridge. My brother was king of that. He could lay a sob story on you like no one and have you so tangled in his web you were lost.

I am not trying to be negative by no means but just cautioning you to be careful and to take care of your family and self first.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and am hoping all the best to you and your sister.
 
seminolewind.....my dad was an alcoholic and still is....he lives in Houston, Tx. 4 years ago
I was spending $125-$150 a night on Fri. and Sat. nights at the bar, driving 40 miles from the bar back home and did not even remember how I got home the next morning. I would run outside to look at my truck just to see if I'd hit anything! I did not use rehab centers or hospitals! I am a firm believer in "only you can decide to stop"...you do not need rehabs or hospitals, you only need the will to stop! It's great that you want to help but, the sad reality is, unless that person really wants to stop, then everything you do will not make a difference. And if and when they want to stop, they can do it thierself with a little encouragement from family and friends. This is when they need you, not while they are still drinking because like I did, they will tell you what you want to hear to make you help them and feel sorry for them. Love your sister but, let her know that you are there WHEN she decides to stop not while she is still drinking! If this sounds mean or cruel I am very sorry but, it's the truth. I wish her the best and my prayers go out to her and any one around her. And I truely hope she makes the decision to stop.
 
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It's wonderful that you were able to stop on your own. I can do that too but then, I am a social drinker.

Alcoholism is different. It's not a matter of will anymore. The person/addict has lost their WILL! No matter how hard THEY try, they cannot stop...those that do, die trying! I know this for a fact. They don't drink to cause hardship on their family. They don't drink to be stubborn or because they don't care about their financial situation. They drink because their BODIES tell them too. It's a very harsh place to be in...I'd not be quick to say "they should JUST quit!" it's NOT that easy.

So, what do they need to do? They need to rely on a HIGHER power than themselves to get them through a day, hour, minute, second...SOBER. This is were AA comes in...conversely speaking, so does Al-Anon. Is this higher power God, the 12 steps, or their home meeting group, that's up to them. It's a personal choice. AA is very clear on this. You need to let go of your WILL and give in to A Higher Power to aid you. It's all about surrender. They can't surrender if they think he/she can do it-on their own. No way! They'll just go out there again...and again...and again...ad infinitum.

Again, I think it's GREAT that you dried up on your own--I know some people who have done that too! However...you are one very lucky person. Keep in mind though...what works for you isn't always what works for everyone. I know this myself...I only give suggestion. If they work, fine. If not...great!

I have a responsibility to my nephew. I don't want anyone's loved one to be found in their bathtub drowned because they were too far gone to get out...in the bathtub! Ask me how many times he said he "could stop!" he "could lick this!"

Pedro

PS I am sorry to go off...this is just very close and personal to me. Every time I think of him I cringe.
 
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It's wonderful that you were able to stop on your own. I can do that too but then, I am a social drinker.

Alcoholism is different. It's not a matter of will anymore. The person/addict has lost their WILL! No matter how hard THEY try, they cannot stop...those that do, die trying! I know this for a fact. They don't drink to cause hardship on their family. They don't drink to be stubborn or because they don't care about their financial situation. They drink because their BODIES tell them too. It's a very harsh place to be in...I'd not be quick to say "they should JUST quit!" it's NOT that easy.

So, what do they need to do? They need to rely on a HIGHER power than themselves to get them through a day, hour, minute, second...SOBER. This is were AA comes in...conversely speaking, so does Al-Anon. Is this higher power God, the 12 steps, or their home meeting group, that's up to them. It's a personal choice. AA is very clear on this. You need to let go of your WILL and give in to A Higher Power to aid you. It's all about surrender. They can't surrender if they think he/she can do it-on their own. No way! They'll just go out there again...and again...and again...ad infinitum.

Again, I think it's GREAT that you dried up on your own--I know some people who have done that too! However...you are one very lucky person. Keep in mind though...what works for you isn't always what works for everyone. I know this myself...I only give suggestion. If they work, fine. If not...great!

I have a responsibility to my nephew. I don't want anyone's loved one to be found in their bathtub drowned because they were too far gone to get out...in the bathtub! Ask me how many times he said he "could stop!" he "could lick this!"

Pedro

PS I am sorry to go off...this is just very close and personal to me. Every time I think of him I cringe.

I have had many friends go though AA and they were sucessful, I believe it is up to the person, they are the only one who can change and must want to. I have also know other who have fallen back it is not an easy situation by any means to be in.
 
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Right...this is true. The distinction I wanted to make though was that, the addict may WANT to stop drinking but he/she does NOT have the WILL to do so. I agree with you on this though...


I have no problem to stop drinking for a few weeks, months heck even years. This is not true of a REAL alcoholic. They can't even imagine life WITHOUT drinking.

But...I digress.

Pedro
 
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Hi, I am soooo grateful for ALL the advice and support. I'm sorry that so many of you have had to deal with this addiction in some way, it's very sad to watch someone head towards rock bottom.
I will support her in her choice NOT to drink, and in her choice to stay dry. I know it has to be her decision, and be supportive after she decides to stop drinking. Thankyou--Karen
 
Hi, She was calling her daughter continuously yesterday, and her daughter called her brother in Arizona, and her brother "Baker Acted" her; means he can call the cops in this state and tell them she is a danger to herself. He told them she was going to kill herself, and the cops went to her house and my sister told them she's not going to kill herself, so they left her home, so her son called them again today, and they went to my sister's house, and this time said that she was going to drink herself to death, so they took her to detox, she will be held for 72 hours. I'm hoping (sadly) that she has the DT's and they can't release her after a few days. I will visit her tomorrow. She can't have visitors today.
Baker Act is the only way to get around the BS "no bed available" waiting. --Karen
 
I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but I pray that it will do her some good. I know it's hard to watch this happening to your sister but at least she knows you are there for her. When I was little and not really knowing what was going on, my mother was in detox in SC and I remember I had to wave at her from outside because we were to little to be let in to see her and I remember crying that I wanted to see my mommy. A drunk not only hurts herself but every one around her that loves her. Please keep us updated and I will continue to pray. Laura
 
I'm glad she is in treatment, however she ended up getting there. Hopefully she will stand by her statements to you that she wanted help, and make the most of it.

Like you said, after 72 hours of not having alcohol, she may be in serious medical detox and then they will need to keep her through the withdrawl period.

Prayers and hugs to you and her and your family!
 
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Gosh! Sorry it had to come to this. At least now - IF she really wants to stay sober she has the opportunity to do so.

I hope she takes it.
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My thoughts are with you. I know how painful this can be...hang in there and keep me updated please.

Hugs-

Pedro
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