but life has been handing me lemons lately, and I'm all out of sugar!
Last Monday, my car died. I suppose I should explain the dynamics of my life, so a reader can understand the significance of my dead car: I do everything. Yes, everything. My dh works at his poopy job and that's pretty much the extent of his responsibilities. I do the marketing and laundry, 99% of the cooking, all the cleaning, raise the kids (including homeschooling), and maintain our animals, and I pay all our bills with MY/ MY KIDS' money.
Aside from the fact that I've been trapped in the house with the kids for, yes, one whole week, I've also made the startling discovery that dh is pretty much useless. I mean that in the nicest way possible, but it's true.
He has been fixing my car for 4 days. Now that it's back together, it will not start. I am crushed, since car repair is supposed to be dh's forte. Although, come to think of it, the car would not have died if it wasn't for him "forgetting" to change the oil. He has replaced a piston, some valve, and God knows what else, and it won't start.
He has to be at work tomorrow morning at 7 am, and we have nary a thing to eat here. Carless as I am, the burden of grocery shopping has fallen to him and he has failed miserably. Instead of one trip to the store a week like a normal person, he's made 8 dash-and-grabs, mostly consisting of enough food for 1 or 2 meals. He was gone all day yesterday and all day today fixing the car and hasn't gone shopping, so I guess we're SOL for tomorrow. Or he is rather, since I'm about to go wake him up and tell him he's not going to work until he goes to a store, any store that's open.
Example: Last night I sent him out to the market, and he came home with deli meat and cheese--but no bread for sandwiches, no sides or veggies, and nothing to drink. What is that about? He's 33 years old, and he can't manage to put together a couple of meals without full direction? Mind you, I sent him with a list which he neglected to follow. God forbid I should die or something. My kids would starve to death!
The bills are also a problem. Due this week are the house payment, the water bill, the energy bill, and the phone bill. He doesn't even know where to go to pay them, and he's already started complaining bitterly about having to deal with it. I'm about to go crazy here.
I did not get married so I could be stuck at home with no food, a mountain of laundry with no laundry soap, a sinkful of dishes with no dish soap, and no way to get away from it all! I actually started crying the other night, because I took out the garbage and when I went to reline the trash can, I found we were out of bags. I can't live like this!
And of course, when I say anything to him, he says, "I'm doing the best that I can!"
I've had to order in pizza 4 times in the last 5 days, because he went off to work without buying food. We can't afford to eat out this much, but what choice did I have? The kids have to eat.
Now I'm sitting here, fit to be tied and so mad I could spit, and he's sleeping the sleep of a man who's well satisfied that he's "doing his best".
On top of all this, he didn't get paid on Friday because his boss went on an island vacation. Must be nice! His last check was $106, so I'm sure his check tomorrow will be, oh maybe enough to wipe my butt with. He didn't get paid for his Workers' Comp dr. visits (even though his job is supposed to pay him for time missed), but he won't say anything to his boss about it.
They also started this percentage crap at work at the beginning of the year, instead of paying by the hour, so on a very GOOD week he'll bring home $250 after paying $100 in child support.
2 of my kids get SSI, and I get child support for them, so I can at least pay our bills (with a lot of juggling), but I feel horrible that I'm spending their money on necessities like food and toilet paper. I don't expect to take them to Disney World with the money, but I should at least be able to take them clothes shopping once every 6 months without having to skip paying bills to do so. It's ridiculous and it's frustrating.
He's been conveniently losing his check stubs for a couple months now, so I didn't know for sure how badly we were doing. Last week he brought home a print-out for me to send off for my son's SSI, and I almost died when I saw it. So far this year, from January till the end of June, his take home pay has been $6080, working 40-60 hours a week. No, I didn't omit a zero. This explains why I've been having to struggle to pay our bills.
When I met him, he was making decent money for a divorced, blue-collar, working-his-way-up guy: $31,000 a year. And now this, and he doesn't seem bothered by it. Sure he gripes once in a while, but he doesn't mind enough to find a better job (assuming that there are any jobs to find in this economy).
And of course, I'm being a heel here by complaining to all of you, but if I show less than a Mary-Sunshine attitude around here, he gets all upset because I'm attacking him for "things he can't help".
I don't think I can deal with this for much longer. The man worships the ground I walk on, and I love him right back, and of course I respect our marriage vows, but this is too much for me to handle anymore. I feel like I'm losing my sanity and I don't know what to do. Whoever said "Money can't buy love" was obviously very rich and very clueless.
Last Monday, my car died. I suppose I should explain the dynamics of my life, so a reader can understand the significance of my dead car: I do everything. Yes, everything. My dh works at his poopy job and that's pretty much the extent of his responsibilities. I do the marketing and laundry, 99% of the cooking, all the cleaning, raise the kids (including homeschooling), and maintain our animals, and I pay all our bills with MY/ MY KIDS' money.
Aside from the fact that I've been trapped in the house with the kids for, yes, one whole week, I've also made the startling discovery that dh is pretty much useless. I mean that in the nicest way possible, but it's true.
He has been fixing my car for 4 days. Now that it's back together, it will not start. I am crushed, since car repair is supposed to be dh's forte. Although, come to think of it, the car would not have died if it wasn't for him "forgetting" to change the oil. He has replaced a piston, some valve, and God knows what else, and it won't start.
He has to be at work tomorrow morning at 7 am, and we have nary a thing to eat here. Carless as I am, the burden of grocery shopping has fallen to him and he has failed miserably. Instead of one trip to the store a week like a normal person, he's made 8 dash-and-grabs, mostly consisting of enough food for 1 or 2 meals. He was gone all day yesterday and all day today fixing the car and hasn't gone shopping, so I guess we're SOL for tomorrow. Or he is rather, since I'm about to go wake him up and tell him he's not going to work until he goes to a store, any store that's open.
Example: Last night I sent him out to the market, and he came home with deli meat and cheese--but no bread for sandwiches, no sides or veggies, and nothing to drink. What is that about? He's 33 years old, and he can't manage to put together a couple of meals without full direction? Mind you, I sent him with a list which he neglected to follow. God forbid I should die or something. My kids would starve to death!
The bills are also a problem. Due this week are the house payment, the water bill, the energy bill, and the phone bill. He doesn't even know where to go to pay them, and he's already started complaining bitterly about having to deal with it. I'm about to go crazy here.
I did not get married so I could be stuck at home with no food, a mountain of laundry with no laundry soap, a sinkful of dishes with no dish soap, and no way to get away from it all! I actually started crying the other night, because I took out the garbage and when I went to reline the trash can, I found we were out of bags. I can't live like this!
And of course, when I say anything to him, he says, "I'm doing the best that I can!"
I've had to order in pizza 4 times in the last 5 days, because he went off to work without buying food. We can't afford to eat out this much, but what choice did I have? The kids have to eat.
Now I'm sitting here, fit to be tied and so mad I could spit, and he's sleeping the sleep of a man who's well satisfied that he's "doing his best".
On top of all this, he didn't get paid on Friday because his boss went on an island vacation. Must be nice! His last check was $106, so I'm sure his check tomorrow will be, oh maybe enough to wipe my butt with. He didn't get paid for his Workers' Comp dr. visits (even though his job is supposed to pay him for time missed), but he won't say anything to his boss about it.
They also started this percentage crap at work at the beginning of the year, instead of paying by the hour, so on a very GOOD week he'll bring home $250 after paying $100 in child support.
2 of my kids get SSI, and I get child support for them, so I can at least pay our bills (with a lot of juggling), but I feel horrible that I'm spending their money on necessities like food and toilet paper. I don't expect to take them to Disney World with the money, but I should at least be able to take them clothes shopping once every 6 months without having to skip paying bills to do so. It's ridiculous and it's frustrating.
He's been conveniently losing his check stubs for a couple months now, so I didn't know for sure how badly we were doing. Last week he brought home a print-out for me to send off for my son's SSI, and I almost died when I saw it. So far this year, from January till the end of June, his take home pay has been $6080, working 40-60 hours a week. No, I didn't omit a zero. This explains why I've been having to struggle to pay our bills.
When I met him, he was making decent money for a divorced, blue-collar, working-his-way-up guy: $31,000 a year. And now this, and he doesn't seem bothered by it. Sure he gripes once in a while, but he doesn't mind enough to find a better job (assuming that there are any jobs to find in this economy).
And of course, I'm being a heel here by complaining to all of you, but if I show less than a Mary-Sunshine attitude around here, he gets all upset because I'm attacking him for "things he can't help".
I don't think I can deal with this for much longer. The man worships the ground I walk on, and I love him right back, and of course I respect our marriage vows, but this is too much for me to handle anymore. I feel like I'm losing my sanity and I don't know what to do. Whoever said "Money can't buy love" was obviously very rich and very clueless.
