There’s a few more things too.
These are really small, but huge in my life.
When I was younger, I didn’t talk much. I kept to myself, never made friends, and didn’t learn social skills. I was diagnosed with anxiety, adhd, and autism.
I kept trying, but eventually gave up. I liked, and was comfortable, being in my own little world. Socializing is hard!
It was discouraging when most of the people who knew me said that I wouldn’t have friends and social skills - I don’t think they meant it in a bad way, but it was still hard.
I started attending church again after a multiple-year-break. It was definitely uncomfortable. I would go to hear the sermons, and I liked being around other believers even though I never talked.
But recently, within the 10 months or so, I’ve grown exponentially.
I started with writing notes to help people better understand me. Eventually I moved on to texting. Then I could have (admittedly awkward and painful) conversations, where I would reply in one word answers.
I started finding all sorts of different ways to serve. I serve in kids ministry, and help set up for high school service and young adults. I also bake for different groups, am involved in life groups (basically youth group) and am there for all three services on Sundays. I just finished taking a class as well, and am (unofficially) leading table groups. I also attend a prayer meeting (of just a few people) where we pray for unbelievers in our lives. For a few months I was on the worship team as well.
Basically, I’m involved in every way I can.
And… I’ve started to get more comfortable with longer conversations! I hadn’t really seen the need for friendships or communication. I was able to grow in my faith without those. But then I asked what else I could do to grow in my faith, and this is the response I received:
“Growth happens over time. My encouragement would be to focus on exercising faith in making friends, learning to communicate with others like Annie [Annie is a classmate that I’ve tried sharing the gospel with]
“And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” - 1 Corinthians 13:2
If we are going to love people, we must engage with them. I don’t think telling you to study more, or prayer more is helpful. Encourage to continue in those? Yes.
So, my encouragement for you is to continue reading and praying through the book of the Bible. And the Bible points you to the world, where animals and mountains and lakes and bees and people live. Continue learning and practicing engaging with people, because that’s what the Bible points you to.”
And, after praying and trying really hard, I’m seeing the beauty of communication and fellowship. And I’ve even made a friend!
I think my main takeaway is this:
My love for serving God and being around His people made it possible to overcome my previously debilitating fears and anxieties. That certainly doesn’t mean they’re not there. But, as Luke 1:37 says, “For nothing will be impossible with God”
We are made, by God, to be relational. Fellowship is key.