Awwww, of course Sunrise.Hey, could you guys be praying for us? We've just been having a rough week. Nothing's wrong with us, it's just circumstances, and I'm not quite feeling ready to share yet.
A bit late but ill be praying!Hey, could you guys be praying for us? We've just been having a rough week. Nothing's wrong with us, it's just circumstances, and I'm not quite feeling ready to share yet.
Not too late at all!
how are you doing sunrise?
There are no words to say it properly but im so sorryI feel like maybe I'm ready to share now, since the ordeal is finally over...
It's a really hard thing to share, but a part of me feels very strongly that it should be shared. A lot of people don't talk about it, I think often because of shame, but there is no shame in this.
A TW will be at the top of the spoiler just in case.
TW: Miscarriage
I strongly feel the need to share this, despite it's intimate and tragic nature. Perhaps I feel the need to preserve the memory.
We were expecting a honeymoon baby (sex unknown) in early August of this year, but unfortunately over the weekend we got the word in the ER that we were likely having a miscarriage. I was 11 weeks pregnant, and went in for bleeding, which has started on Wednesday and increased slowly. There was honestly little doubt in my mind about what had happened. I felt like I'd known it would happen all along. I also felt all along like it was a boy.
Yesterday evening is when it finally did happen, and the shower was my best friend for a good two or three hours. The pain was so intense I couldn't talk about I could barely move, but thankfully it came in waves. We were able to save the little body, for which I am incredibly grateful, and we are planning a burial this week or next.
We named it Alexis Ray, after the (male) Saint Alexis Toth of Minnesota, and I suppose that's the most unisex we're getting when it comes to Saint's names. ;P It means Defender of the Light. My Dad suggested the middle name.
My body will be recovering for a while. I nearly fainted this morning when I first stood up before remembering I had experienced significant blood loss, and that actually gave me a good laugh (also because of my chronic illness, I'm no stranger to near misses, lol). I also feel a little weak and shaky in my fine motor control, but I'm sure iron supplementation will help remedy that in a few days.
I am physically wounded, but emotionally, I feel as though God has been protecting me. I've cried, of course, but for some reason I'm really very okay. It's as if my heart and soul have been held in gentle hands and surrounded by angels this entire time. I will not fail to miss and mourn my little one, but after I coerced myself into church this past Sunday, I have just felt so light. The sadness isn't burdening, or suffocating at all, though it still exists. It's strange. I feel like I am just grateful for this whole experience, even though it was so horrible, and I'm not sure why. It is a joyful sadness, and I am not sure how that can be. :')
Our priest stopped by last night to say some prayers for Alexis (Alexios in the Greek apparently) and myself. We were on his route home from bible study, so I was grateful for the timing of it all.
Thank you for all of your prayers, it's much appreciated. It was a hard several days, but by the grace of God I can move on with a cheerful face and still remember our little Alexios, who is awaiting us in heaven. ♥
That's okay, thank you.There are no words to say it properly but im so sorry
I honestly don't expect elaborate words from anyone, knowing your sympathy is more than enough.
I'm so sorry sunriseI feel like maybe I'm ready to share now, since the ordeal is finally over...
It's a really hard thing to share, but a part of me feels very strongly that it should be shared. A lot of people don't talk about it, I think often because of shame, but there is no shame in this.
A TW will be at the top of the spoiler just in case.
TW: Miscarriage
I strongly feel the need to share this, despite it's intimate and tragic nature. Perhaps I feel the need to preserve the memory.
We were expecting a honeymoon baby (sex unknown) in early August of this year, but unfortunately over the weekend we got the word in the ER that we were likely having a miscarriage. I was 11 weeks pregnant, and went in for bleeding, which has started on Wednesday and increased slowly. There was honestly little doubt in my mind about what had happened. I felt like I'd known it would happen all along. I also felt all along like it was a boy.
Yesterday evening is when it finally did happen, and the shower was my best friend for a good two or three hours. The pain was so intense I couldn't talk about I could barely move, but thankfully it came in waves. We were able to save the little body, for which I am incredibly grateful, and we are planning a burial this week or next.
We named it Alexis Ray, after the (male) Saint Alexis Toth of Minnesota, and I suppose that's the most unisex we're getting when it comes to Saint's names. ;P It means Defender of the Light. My Dad suggested the middle name.
My body will be recovering for a while. I nearly fainted this morning when I first stood up before remembering I had experienced significant blood loss, and that actually gave me a good laugh (also because of my chronic illness, I'm no stranger to near misses, lol). I also feel a little weak and shaky in my fine motor control, but I'm sure iron supplementation will help remedy that in a few days.
I am physically wounded, but emotionally, I feel as though God has been protecting me. I've cried, of course, but for some reason I'm really very okay. It's as if my heart and soul have been held in gentle hands and surrounded by angels this entire time. I will not fail to miss and mourn my little one, but after I coerced myself into church this past Sunday, I have just felt so light. The sadness isn't burdening, or suffocating at all, though it still exists. It's strange. I feel like I am just grateful for this whole experience, even though it was so horrible, and I'm not sure why. It is a joyful sadness, and I am not sure how that can be. :')
Our priest stopped by last night to say some prayers for Alexis (Alexios in the Greek apparently) and myself. We were on his route home from bible study, so I was grateful for the timing of it all.
Thank you for all of your prayers, it's much appreciated. It was a hard several days, but by the grace of God I can move on with a cheerful face and still remember our little Alexios, who is awaiting us in heaven. ♥
Thank youI'm so sorry sunrise
