Am I being mean?

[ams4776]

She sounda like a piece of work for sure....ignore her and get yourself going. Id be a wreck if i lost my hubby and would not have been near as patient as you have been. Put her on hold and make sure what you want and ur kids to have get put away so she doesnt come up and walk away with it. Soo sorry for your loss. Thats gotta be rough.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

SIL is on an elevator which does not go to the top floor.

Your husband's things belong to his child.

YOU have suffered a terrible loss. If you feel the need to explain anything to her - which you do not need to do - tell her you have been advised to wait a few months before making any further decisions regarding his belongings.

I have been through several losses, and in every case, deeply regretted decisions I made in the early days following the loss. Especially regarding the disposition of belongings.

Take care of you.
Take care of your children.
SIL is on her own.

 

[Scoop]

I'm just floored by people who come around asking for "stuff" when someone passes away. These people have no class whatsoever!

I think you've done quite enough! Pass the rest of your belongings down to your DD. You own these things now, they are yours! I'm sorry, I just can't stand vultures, it's repulsive!!!

I hope you continue to recover from this huge loss in your life.

 

[birdygirl123]

I am so very sorry for your loss!.. I dont that you are being out of line at all. I would just tell her that you will do your best to keep the items around, and next time she is up.. to give you a call. Everyone deals with things differently, but asking for things like this.. well, its out of line. She should have done everythign in her power to come up.. and frankly.. he would have told you who was to get what.. in the event something happened.. You have way to many things to worry about right now.. Take care of you, and your babies.. ((lots of prayers and hugs))

 

[Anguissette]

I cannot believe that she had the nerve to indicate that her pain and loss is somehow deeper and more meaningful than yours. The fact that you didn’t tell her to sit and spin at that point tells me that you are not mean, in any way. And seriously? Who asks for woodworking tools as a memento unless they too are woodworkers…..bet she sells them.

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[PineappleMama]

Where there's a will there's relatives... sorry but that really is the first thing that came to mind.

I'm guessing there was likely a pretty good reason that your hubby didn't hand over their parent's things to her. As she so rudely pointed out he's known her a lot longer that he's known you... and longer than YOU have known HER... thus I think HIS judgment on the issue is probably the wisest course. If he had trusted her with those things, rather than saving them for his own children, then he'd have given them to her back when she was near OR shipped them to her later.

"Sorry J but DH clearly wanted his parents' things saved for his children someday or else he'd have given them to you long ago. And since you don't need that last box I sent would you please ship it back so I can put it up for the kids?" would be my line... but then I can be pretty dern cranky when it comes to greedy relatives circling...

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
Honestly, I don't think she'll sell them. She'll just look at them and weep. I know she used to do some craft stuff, although I don't know if she still does it.

And yes, when she said that her loss was worse than mine, I did point out (not too kindly) that her day to day life hasn't changed and she isn't sleeping alone and I was his WIFE and that it's different than a brother sister relationship.