WARNING this is going to be long-winded.
Next year MIL turns 90. She has decided to throw a birthday party for herself. Except it's not really a birthday party, it's more like a thank you party for any person that has vaguely helped her in one form or the other. People that she's volunteered with, people who work at her Dr.'s office, etc. She wants it either at the church hall or at a golf course.
DH wants to go. No problem, I'd never tell him he couldn't visit his family. DH wants the kids to go. Slight problem, but I'm okay if the kids want to go. DH wants me to go. Now we have a problem.
I was the driving force behind our move from San Diego to Texas. I couldn't stand it there anymore. It was so crowded, so hectic, so expensive and kids over there were growing up too fast. My husband and I worked different schedules for 11 years. He worked all of the holidays and he might have had one Saturday off every other month. We mainly saw each other at night. I was miserable. Also, somehow I knew, that we were going to be in for a world of financial hurt if we stayed. We were barely making it and we were both working full-time, making decent money. I knew we'd have to buy at least one car in the near future. Turned out I was right. If we had stayed, our mortgage would be under water right now. Our once middle-class neighborhood, now has a homeless camp on the field at the end of our street. I am a native San Diegan, but San Diego no longer felt like home.
We moved to Texas in Aug. 2006. Since then my MIL has visited us once and that's only because I had an absolute fit when I found out she was flying into San Antonio to go to Kingsville for a couple months and had no intention on visiting her son or gkids
(which by the way she swore up and down, she would miss soooo much when we moved). She ended up staying for a couple of nights, to which she proceeded to ignore her son, sleep across my reclining sofa (pet peeve of mine) and over ate, which resulted in her almost puking in my beloved Suburban
. The next time she went to Kingsville, my husband had to drive there to visit her.
Since we moved to Texas in 2006, DH went there by himself in 2007 and despite my displeasure, we spent our family vacation there in 2008. I declared 2009 to be a "no big vacation" year, so that we could build up our savings. In between and after those visits, my nieces, BIL#4 and BIL#1 & SIL have come to visit us.
While I love spending time with my nieces, BIL's & SIL's, I have no desire to vacation where I spent 30 years of my life and intentionally left. It's not cheap to fly all 4 of us out there, at least $1,200. If we do go, this will be the 2nd vacation to SD, out of the 3 vacations we'll have taken. There are so many other places DH, DDs and I would like to go. BIL#1 & SIL really want to go somewhere with us, which I'd love, but we can only afford to do one expensive vacation a year.
Oh yeah...did I mention that MIL wants me to cook & bake for the party!
I've told DH that I really don't want to go and the only way I will go is if we go somewhere else while we're there. Here are my ideas so far 1)Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm & Universal Studios, 2) rent a cabin at June Lake or Yosemite, 3) visit Tombstone and the Grand Canyon or 4) Maui. I also informed him that no way in heck will I be cooking.
Am I being unreasonable?
Next year MIL turns 90. She has decided to throw a birthday party for herself. Except it's not really a birthday party, it's more like a thank you party for any person that has vaguely helped her in one form or the other. People that she's volunteered with, people who work at her Dr.'s office, etc. She wants it either at the church hall or at a golf course.
DH wants to go. No problem, I'd never tell him he couldn't visit his family. DH wants the kids to go. Slight problem, but I'm okay if the kids want to go. DH wants me to go. Now we have a problem.
I was the driving force behind our move from San Diego to Texas. I couldn't stand it there anymore. It was so crowded, so hectic, so expensive and kids over there were growing up too fast. My husband and I worked different schedules for 11 years. He worked all of the holidays and he might have had one Saturday off every other month. We mainly saw each other at night. I was miserable. Also, somehow I knew, that we were going to be in for a world of financial hurt if we stayed. We were barely making it and we were both working full-time, making decent money. I knew we'd have to buy at least one car in the near future. Turned out I was right. If we had stayed, our mortgage would be under water right now. Our once middle-class neighborhood, now has a homeless camp on the field at the end of our street. I am a native San Diegan, but San Diego no longer felt like home.
We moved to Texas in Aug. 2006. Since then my MIL has visited us once and that's only because I had an absolute fit when I found out she was flying into San Antonio to go to Kingsville for a couple months and had no intention on visiting her son or gkids
Since we moved to Texas in 2006, DH went there by himself in 2007 and despite my displeasure, we spent our family vacation there in 2008. I declared 2009 to be a "no big vacation" year, so that we could build up our savings. In between and after those visits, my nieces, BIL#4 and BIL#1 & SIL have come to visit us.
While I love spending time with my nieces, BIL's & SIL's, I have no desire to vacation where I spent 30 years of my life and intentionally left. It's not cheap to fly all 4 of us out there, at least $1,200. If we do go, this will be the 2nd vacation to SD, out of the 3 vacations we'll have taken. There are so many other places DH, DDs and I would like to go. BIL#1 & SIL really want to go somewhere with us, which I'd love, but we can only afford to do one expensive vacation a year.
Oh yeah...did I mention that MIL wants me to cook & bake for the party!
I've told DH that I really don't want to go and the only way I will go is if we go somewhere else while we're there. Here are my ideas so far 1)Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm & Universal Studios, 2) rent a cabin at June Lake or Yosemite, 3) visit Tombstone and the Grand Canyon or 4) Maui. I also informed him that no way in heck will I be cooking.
Am I being unreasonable?
