Am I in the Right, Or am I in the Wrong??? UPDATE Pg. 14)

[Duramaxgirl]

Sooo why is R the brides maid an not you? Your family after all... Yes I think you have more than a little reason to not go. Your SIL Shows little judgment in her choice of bridesmaid and friends! Since she is choosing to have this woman at her wedding she is choosing to NOT have you at her wedding.... But then again it is family! Do you enjoy your SIL? Is she a quality person to spend time with. Because if you don't go you could hurt or destroy your relationship with her. You could be the better person by attending and not destroying a future relationship IF she ever matures enough to see her lack of judgment. And again you would always be the better person for it.
Its a hard question! And I wish you luck.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

Well just to let every one know.

This "R" person only goes after married guys. Then when she gets the couple broke up. She goes on to her next victum. In the town she has lives in, she has broke up at least 3 marriages on perpose. And split many couples up, that eventually got back together. I think this is her hobby. A sick one at that. "R" is very skinny and cute, wears skimpy clothes..

One person said well how long have you been married. Well we have been married for 9 years. But there has been alot of drama in it. Mostly causes by my SILs friends, she likes to have slutty girls as friends. And my MIL has caused us alot of problems in our marriage. But when things are going good, some one always tries to start a fight between us.

My SIL is not very bright. Lets just say she is just like the blonde jokes. I bet "R" will go after her soon to be hubby.

 

[SG_Chicken]

Ok speaking from experience here you have to know that when people stray from a marriage its because something is lacking in the marriage. So it is everyones fault. You need to have lots and lots of communication with your husband. You need to know why he felt it necessary to write back. I say its everyone fault, you included, because he is not getting something from you that he felt he could get from her.

I have 3 kids and know how hard it is to have romanitc evenings/weekends and very little money but truth be told happy marriage makes for happy family. Work on your communication with each other and see how it goes.

I have been on both sides so believe me when I say this. I have been to hell and back and now have a very strong marriage and our communication is outstanding.

 

[Katy]

Your husband needs a kick to the behind for responding to her letters. Personally I'd go to the wedding & encourage my husband to be the best man...I'm taking it that the groom is his brother? If you don't go she's still winning by messing up your family connections whether she's got your husband or not. Your presence there will let her know you're not backing down from her......make sure she sees that in your manner that day and by any eye contact you have with her.

 

[cassie]

For heaven's sake go to the wedding. It won't kill you to be civil for a few hours. If you feel you can't trust your husband you have a much bigger problem than Miss R.

 

[Sunny the Hippie Chick]

My husband is supposed to be the Best Man. But no it is not his brother. This guy is marrying my hubbys sister. The Groom does not have a brother. Or a close friend here. My hubby is his closest friend since the groom traveled across the states. The groom really doesnt know any one here.

And well Hubby is not a very communicative person. Never has been. I can tell he is mad at me for not going. But he will not tell me.

I do every thing for my hubby. Take him lunch every day at work. Keep his clothes clean, the house clean, and take care of the kids. He makes the money, but I buget all our money and pay the bills. Cook almost every meal, even if it involves the BBQ grill, I do all the shopping. If he asks me to do some thing for him. I do it. I have never strayed, never even thought about it. I take my vows seriously. I do almost what ever he asks of me. I go to his moms house. Which I dont want to. She has caused lots of problems in our marriage, By telling lies. She is a very mean person. So I dont see how I can be at fault for him straying. He has it all at home. But when ever we have bad bad money problems, or bad problems at work. He starts to drink then stray, thinking it will make him happy again I guess. We used to write little notes to each other. Heck now I dont even get an anniversary gift, even if it was a free picked flower. If I write him a little love note. And he dont write one back to me. And if I ask him why, he says "What am I going to say, I see you every day." We never go out to eat, or to see a movie. Havent been to a movie since 2004. Ok enough about that. Thing are going fine for us except for this wedding thing, I think it may cause a fight.

I dont know. If I dont go to the wedding, it wont ruin any of my connections with my family. It is his family. And his mom dont like me any way. I dont know why I am a good person, I dont drink, do drugs, or smoke. I dont party.

I havent seen any of my family in two months. They all moved away.

I dont think it would hurt me to not be friends with my SIL. She knew about the letters but didnt tell me. I had to find one. So in my book I just tollerate her.

But what I dont want to do is start a huge fight with hubby over this. But I dont want to go either. I know if we go "R" will come right up to us and try to chat. Im affraid I might punch her out and go to jail for the ever over it. Im not a violent person. But grrr.

Oh and some one said it was funny for every one to go camping after the wedding. Well the bride and groom have a new baby, and barely any money. Wedding is taking all the funding. they dont even have their own place to live. So honey moon is out. And since the grooms family is coming from the east side of the united states. It is a cheap way for everyone to spend time together.

 

[twentynine]

Go to the wedding.

I'd be danged if no brazen hussie would keep me from going to a family function.

Now if your husband and the hussie so much as exchange a glance---- GAME ON!

No I would not be civil, nor polite, to the witch.

But I would not miss the wedding. It is your husband's sister.

 

[SG_Chicken]

I will send you a message. I think there is more to be said by me but it doesn't need to be brought here.

 

[PineappleMama]

Wow. Knowing she went after yours AND knowing she's done more to another couple that helped them end up divorced... your SIL wants this woman around when she gets hitched? Seriously? R clearly likes the challenge and the destruction... why in the world would you want her present with your brand new hubby? Good grief but she could be hoping to break her own record... fastest she's ever 'corrupted' a married man...

Sounds like your SIL is pretty dang stupid... and her family supporting R, and not you, is just warped. Means they also think it was totally okay for your hubby to be doing what he did. If they're That Kind of family fine for them, but if you aren't then yeah, I'd steer clear too.

You can show support for the marriage by sending a gift... plenty do... if it's okay to be working that day and miss it, then your reasoning should be acceptable too... think of something you need to do, your family, whatever... and be busy. Tell them your family thinks it would be unhealthy for your Marriage for either you or your hubby to be around that *bleep* and thus they're taking you out to keep your mind off it... maybe? Of course I wouldn't be able to not say "Just don't come crying to me when you catch her in the broom closet with the groom"... but I'm kinda blunt that way.

 

[key west chick]

Personally, I would go out and buy a new outfit, one that makes me look hot without being trashy, look my best, and go to that wedding with my head held high, and not let her ruin a good time. Dont let her think she got the best of you, thats what she wants. If she looks at you, look her right back in the eyes for a few seconds. Dont let her childish behavior embarrass you into not going. You did nothing wrong. I know your ticked, but dont stoop to her level. Be a bigger person and go. Have a good time, laugh, spend time with family.