- Aug 8, 2011
- 1,981
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Quote:
this.
you might try this to make it a little less awkward...
after she gives you the gift, open it, apprecaite and oo and aw over it, give her a big hug, look her sincerely in the eyes and say "I think it's really lovely that you still went to all this trouble even though you know we can't reciprocate!"
if that's not enough, you can say "you're always such a generous person, its one of the wonderful things about you."
....
when people insist on giving when you have asked them not to, there are several reasons that might happen...
1) they really like doing it and don't care if you give them anything back. ok, so appreciate them for thier effort, and don't worry about it.
2) they feel obligated and would feel guilty if they didn't. what you're giving them with your appreciation is relief from guilt... not a bad present.
3) they're trying to guilt you into giving gifts you can't afford. sweet appreciation and a pleasant attitude, along with a firm adherance to your position is a fine way of managing an attempted guilt trip.
4) they're trying to show you how much better they are than you. same solution as #3... this is a game I just won't participate in, and by not being bothered and maintaining my happy attitude and gracious appreciation without obligation I can halt the game in it's tracks. most folks who want to play this game require an opponent. since I won't play, usually they find someone else who will and stop bothering me with it.
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when we're strapped, and I really want to give something, I find something I can give that has my time in it instead of my money. a jar with a special hot chocolate mix, or a special cookie mix in it, with all the ingredients layred like sand art, and a pretty square of cloth over the lid with a ribbon, and a printed set of instructions tied to the top. a hand-painted christmas ornament. a card with a story from our mutual history that is a favorite memory of mine about them.
this.
you might try this to make it a little less awkward...
after she gives you the gift, open it, apprecaite and oo and aw over it, give her a big hug, look her sincerely in the eyes and say "I think it's really lovely that you still went to all this trouble even though you know we can't reciprocate!"
if that's not enough, you can say "you're always such a generous person, its one of the wonderful things about you."
....
when people insist on giving when you have asked them not to, there are several reasons that might happen...
1) they really like doing it and don't care if you give them anything back. ok, so appreciate them for thier effort, and don't worry about it.
2) they feel obligated and would feel guilty if they didn't. what you're giving them with your appreciation is relief from guilt... not a bad present.
3) they're trying to guilt you into giving gifts you can't afford. sweet appreciation and a pleasant attitude, along with a firm adherance to your position is a fine way of managing an attempted guilt trip.
4) they're trying to show you how much better they are than you. same solution as #3... this is a game I just won't participate in, and by not being bothered and maintaining my happy attitude and gracious appreciation without obligation I can halt the game in it's tracks. most folks who want to play this game require an opponent. since I won't play, usually they find someone else who will and stop bothering me with it.
------
when we're strapped, and I really want to give something, I find something I can give that has my time in it instead of my money. a jar with a special hot chocolate mix, or a special cookie mix in it, with all the ingredients layred like sand art, and a pretty square of cloth over the lid with a ribbon, and a printed set of instructions tied to the top. a hand-painted christmas ornament. a card with a story from our mutual history that is a favorite memory of mine about them.
