An Open Letter to Significant Others (a RANT)

[21hens-incharge]

Dear Significant Others,

If your betrothed asks for help, please consider helping. And if you decide you don't want to help, at least offer advice for how to accomplish the task for which your betrothed required help. There is a reason these requests are being made. It is not to annoy you or take time away from your favorite TV show, sport of choice, or hobby. It's being asked for because it is truly needed.

And if that doesn't work for you, at least refrain from pointing out what your betrothed could/should have done differently after the fact. That accomplishes nothing except for one of the following: 1) angering your betrothed, or 2) making him/her feel really stupid and insignificant. The latter is even more likely to occur if you choose to point out missteps using a derisive or mocking tone.

Respectfully,

Your Angry, Stupid and Insignificant Betrothed

Dang Auntie.

Cast iron skillets make a nice dent.....

 

[Peppercorngal]

And you can suggest that the pie you can make with your rolling pin will be much nicer than being hit over the head with it... You know what they say about men and their stomachs... so close to their heart and all...

Yesssss! When I make these I can get anything I want!

 

[Cynthia12]

Dear Significant Others,

If your betrothed asks for help, please consider helping. And if you decide you don't want to help, at least offer advice for how to accomplish the task for which your betrothed required help. There is a reason these requests are being made. It is not to annoy you or take time away from your favorite TV show, sport of choice, or hobby. It's being asked for because it is truly needed.

And if that doesn't work for you, at least refrain from pointing out what your betrothed could/should have done differently after the fact. That accomplishes nothing except for one of the following: 1) angering your betrothed, or 2) making him/her feel really stupid and insignificant. The latter is even more likely to occur if you choose to point out missteps using a derisive or mocking tone.

Respectfully,

Your Angry, Stupid and Insignificant Betrothed

All I have to say..is..well..nothing. 23 years. You're ok!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Take a deep breath, Auntie. And then read that to him. As I used to tell my children: Communicate. Negotiate. Celebrate. And yet .... I had an SO very similar to yours. Critical. Unhelpful. Non-listening. After 23 years I decided this was not the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I moved on. I now have a wonderful, loving, helpful, thoughtful husband. It took me 15 or more years to find him, but he is definitely worth it. Blessings to you, my dear.

 

[drumstick diva]

Congratulations BigBlueHen

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Congratulations BigBlueHen

Thank you. It was a long hard road. But sometimes you gotta let go of what you've got in order to get something better!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Anyway, @Aunt Angus , I guess that's what we come here for: to get the help, suggestions, encouragement and support we need and can't or don't get elsewhere.

We're here for you, Sister!

 

[Aunt Angus]

Back at ya, @BigBlueHen53 !

And absolutely congrats! My parents split (amicably) after 23 years, and it was the best thing for Mom. She is happily single and totally immersed in her social life after reuniting with her sorority sisters. She bought her OWN house at 65 and has fixed it up nicely all by herself (well, my kids and i help, of course). She is living the life she deserves.

Funny, but it took being married for over a decade before I realized what Mom was dealing with. As a teen, I thought she was being unreasonable. Love my dad so so so much, but I see that they weren't good for each other.

And, yes, I apologized to her for doubting/judging her.

 

[Aunt Angus]

Women are incredible. Men are, too - especially those who are helpful, supportive, and get things done.

But WOMEN. Am I right?!
High fives, my girls!

 

[Aunt Angus]

Yesssss! When I make these I can get anything I want!

View attachment 1868852

ME WANT.