Any May/December Romances Out there? Hows it going?

[suzettex5]

I sure understand the issues everyone has with parents and step-children! My DH's kids are in their 20's and after all these years, they still dont like me. Of course, they only call when they want money, or a ride, or.....something. His parents called me his 'mid-life' crisis!! I think this may be one of the longest mid-life crisis' in history!! LOL!!
All these years later and I know his mom and dad still dont care for me- even after we've had 3 kids together!

For all of you 'loners' you arent alone- you have your spouse/significant other. I think sometimes thats all we can handle!

Michickenwrangler- It doesnt matter what you look like (BTW- us women are WAY harder on ourselves than we should be) who you are on the inside has shown, and you have a man who see's the real you- BEAUTIFUL!!

Alot of people have told me my DH is kinda, um, 'nerdy' but I couldnt care less! To me he is the most amazing man. I have met lots of men, I worked in a bar for awhile, and men have been hitting on me since I was a teenager (and I mean grown men

) I have yet to meet a man anything like my hubby.

And yes, we fight, but not like we used to. It was hell for us at first! Thank God he has the patience of a saint (or the patience of an older wiser man, like he is!!) I guess we still pretty much keep to ourselves, but we are very busy with kids and pets and work.

I only worry about my future and my kids futures. What if he dies at 75 years of age? Our youngest will lose his dad at only 24 years old- so young. And I will only be about 58. I dont look forward to retiring alone, or trying to find a decent guy in my age range who still has his wits and health and is single! I can just see myself cruising the old folks homes like some grey haired cougar! LOL (kinda)

Do you guys ever think about your future like that?

 

[michickenwrangler]

I didn't date anyone in high school because no one ever showed the slightest bit of interest in me, so that's kinda wreaked havoc with my self-esteem. I was at least slender and had a nice body since I did a lot of walking and rode horses several times a week, plus helped muck stalls, clean tack, stuff like that. But when my friends and I went out in a group, I was never hit on. I did have a few dates after high school, mainly with older men since no one around here my own age ever spoke with me. DH and I met at a Michigan militia meeting of all things (NO, we are not members but someone we mutually knew had invited the both of us). About 18 months before we began dating, he stopped by my house and wanted to look at my books. That's ALL that happened and we ran into one another once in awhile after that. He was working 12 hour midnight shifts and I worked 2 jobs, so neither one of us had free time

My whole life at the time DH and I began seeing one another was my horse and I was competing in 50-75 mile endurance/competitive trail rides. I had won a regional championship at the age of 19 and he stopped over to congratulate me, then he stopped by a few days later, and then again that Friday ...

His health problems on account of his age and hedonistic lifestyle in his earlier years (former musician in a rock band--played bass in his 20s-30s) have caught up with him. He also tore cartilage in his knee and ruptured 2 discs in his back at work. He had a botched knee replacement that got his spine more out of algnment (9 discs are ruptured now) so just the constant adjustment of medications and chronic health problems wear on the both of us, but we manage. Since he is older, he is a little old-fashioned and wonders why I don't love housework like his mother did.

DH is pretty tolerant of my "idiosyncrysies" of bringing home chicks and goats and driving to the other side of the state to get a rooster.

 

[breezy]

My husband is 27 years older than I am. He is also autistic something neither one of knew when we got married. He is older than both of my parents and I am younger than 4 of his 6 kids. I have been accused of being with him for his money ( he doesnt have any) and accused of just marrying him so I could put him in a home so I could get the house we are living in. ( house is mortgaged to the hilt) We have been married since 1985 been togethor since 1983. Been threatened by his sister and one of his ex wives. The ex wife poisoned one of my dogs and tried to have a "hit" put on me.She is now heavily medicated with haldol in a lock down facility.
His brother wouldnt talk to me or look me in the eye for 3 years after we were togethor. All this simply because I was 20 and he was 47 when we met.They all assumed I was a slut or a gold digger or a homewrecker (met him after he moved out of his wifes house in the middle of a very ugly divorce)
Nobody in his family ever stopped to think that maybe I was with him simply because I loved him. I dont think anyone in his family thought he was lovable since he had been divorced twice and due to his autism was considored odd and strangely behaved.
My family saw what I liked about him and they all accepted him right away. We have had some very rocky roads during our marriage but have managed to stay togethor through all of it. I love him and more importantly I like him. He is a good guy

 

[BC_Farms]

Almost 15 years between us...we laugh about it a lot. Sometimes I feel a little sheepish when we go out and they check both of our IDs...or they just check mine! We always get a "look" after that!

I don't know why it works, it just does. My mother is less than impressed though.

I do worry about our long term relationship though healthwise and what that means for our future, but right now I'm just trying to enjoy things and the farm life

 

[Mandalina]

my dh is 12yr older than me and we are all good

 

[yotetrapper]

Quote:
Yes, but I try not to. I imagine I'll turn into "that crazy animal lady" and live by myself with chickens, ducks, goats, cows and whatnot, lol.

 

[suzettex5]

michickenwranlger- (and all you other young brides

)

Isnt it funny how our older guys sometimes have those 'old fashioned' ideas of how a woman is supposed to behave?!? I mean, just because HIS mom kept house like an OCD housekeeper on crack, doesnt mean I'M gonna! And no, I dont make every meal from scratch! There IS this wonderful invention these days, its called ' Hamburger Helper'!!

I try to adjust tho, I want to be fair. I dont mind being the 'traditional wife' and I try to remember he really is from a different generation. Think 'June Cleaver' Whenever those expectations bug me and feel waaaaayy too sexist- I think of the good things that came from that era. Men opened doors for you, they always paid the tab, they defended your honor, the treated you like a lady, their mom and dad taught them cleanliness is next to Godlyness, and they have lived through the hard times and have seen real tragedy. My hubby is grateful to be able to provide for his family and works hard. Thats another thing he learned growing up- work hard!! Nothing handed to him like so many of todays young people.

So, in exchange for me trying to be more like the moms of yesteryear, he indulges my passion for animals and children. Not a bad trade all things considered.

I am not looking forward to the day when his health starts to decline, but I try to have a sense of humor, I tell him 'Thats ok honey, I've been changing diapers for so long now, whats one butt to wipe?" (he doesnt think thats as funny as I do

)

Addressing the whole 'gold digger' thing.. Ugh- I hate that phrase! First off- if a person works their whole life to earn something, it belongs to THEM, not the kids or cousins or parents. A grown man or woman should be able to do whatever they want with what they have earned! All my children are always told "You are not entitled to, nor garenteed an inheiratence, you must earn it by going to school and proving you wont waste what we worked hard to earn and give to you" If any of my kids grow up and decide to act stupid- they will get an all expense paid trip to rehab- thats it till they mend their ways.

As for my DH's previous children- Thats gonna be tough. They all seem to think they are entitled to all of what we have. They all only call for money, whrn they bother to call at all. They all treat me like crap- but what can we do? DH loves his kids and WONT do anything about the behavior. I dont even bring it up anymore because he just gets defensive, and he's not gonna change.

Seriously, I dont really like his kids because they have been so mean for so many years. Theyre all in their 20's now and still pullin crap. He wants to give them tons of $ from our business, I dont want to give them a dime. I do understand how he feels, but theyre all so bad, or married to losers, or just plain lazy and wont work. But the old fahioned side of him says you are supposed to give your kids an inheiritance. I say thats enabling them to keep being buttheads and paying them for being lazy. Not to mention all we have him and I built together after we got married. Why would I want his mean kids as partners in my business if he happened to die?

Is it wrong of me to expect to own 100% of our business if heshould pass away first? I would give him control if I died first. I trust him to take care of all the kids intrests' but we really dont agreeon what his older girls should get, if anything. What would you do?

 

[geojane42]

My first husband was 15 years older than me. It didn't work out but the reason had nothing to do with the age difference.

I think it depends more on your actual ages, not your relative ages. There's a much bigger difference between 20 and 35, for example than there is between 35 and 50.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I met him at school and thought he'd make a fun summer plaything since he was so pretty and shiny and 7 years younger than me. Turns out I was right... it was an awesome summer and we've been having a great time together ever since

I'm 38 now and my best friends range in age from 29 to 60. It really isn't the years in your life that matter but the life in your years.

 

[geojane42]

Quote:
Wow.... you must have the patience of a saint. My kids father is autistic and so is our youngest son. He has never come to terms with it though so he has never gotten any professional help around it which makes him pretty much impossible to deal with. It sounds like you guys have handled the situation much better than we did. Good for you... keep up the good work!

 

[yourbadd]

As the adult child of a May/December relationship, my dad is 82 my mom is 59, it was great growing up!! Yes, my dad was often mistaken for my grandfather but having parents from 2 different generations was a blessing!! My dad was "old school" my mom more "new age" and they balanced each other out.