Any other childless chicken moms out there?

[Nifty-Chicken]

Quote:
That conversation sounds strangly familiar... let me see if I can remember. I think it went something like this:

Terrie: "Oh my gosh... do you see what that member posted!?"
Staff: "Yes Terrie... just smile and say, "Thanks for your post!"
Terrie: "But their post... it's just... ICK!"
Staff" "Repeat after us... "Thanks for being a member and for your post!"

 

[arwmommy]

My mother and I both agree there were only 7 beautiful babies born in the world (her 5 and my 2!

) So when we see a newborn, we always say, "ohhh, what a SWEET baby!".

While I was in college a married couple above me had a baby and she said on the phone "I knew I would love her but I had no idea how BEAUTIFUL she would be!". When I saw the baby the next day, I swear it was a troll baby! I said how SWEET that baby was over and over again!

Sorry, this is my only possible contribution to this thread, as after struggling for years with infertility, fertility treatments, heartbreaking miscarriages, and complicated pregnancies that left me in and out of high risk OBGYN's offices and the hospital....... we have 2 amazing beautiful children, and that was worth it all. It is difficult sometimes, but what I always wanted. I wish the same happiness (in whatever form it comes) for everyone.

*best wishes*

 

[DuckLady]

Quote:
That conversation sounds strangly familiar... let me see if I can remember. I think it went something like this:

Terrie: "Oh my gosh... do you see what that member posted!?"
Staff: "Yes Terrie... just smile and say, "Thanks for your post!"
Terrie: "But their post... it's just... ICK!"
Staff" "Repeat after us... "Thanks for being a member and for your post!"

You made that up.

 

[SandraChick]

childless by choice....

I also get aggravated at the people who say "you''ll change your mind"....or "just wait til the biological clock get's ticking"

I'm now 36...still have no clue what people are talking about when they mention "the biological clock"...I guess mine is broken!

I did marry three years ago to a man with a teenage son (now 19). He is a wonderful part of my family, we've only had him "part time" and now he's busy with life and college.

I also had one woman tell me she was ashamed of me to not have children for that was the gift of being a woman! That was an amazing conversation- which I was happy when it was OVER.

I LOVE other people's children-- the best part is I get to give them back. People always tell me I'd make a great mom. But I always remind them that I have energy for the kids because I can go home and get away from it all to recoup. I have rules...which they all abide by-- I'm very consistant with them. I also have the ultimate power....if they're not behaving I say "then I'll just go home....or .... I'll just take you home. It's powerful and parents never have it!

I'd say it's similar to the friends with benefits saying....Aunties have all the fun--it's like grandparent privilages, but you didn't have to have kids and wait 20-30 years to get them!

That's my take!
Sandra

 

[CarriBrown]

Quote:
I had people tell me that, too, and I told them that is was none of their business! That is a decision between you and your husband, not some stupid woman!
And I agree- Newborn babies look like a cross between an alien and a plucked chicken (no offence to chickens!

).

 

[lurky]

Quote:

 

[speckledhen]

I prefer the term "CHILDFREE" myself. No, I had two sons early, my first at 20. I didn't always want children. I decided not to have children as a teenager, then married at 19. My DH did want them. Then his sister got pregnant and something odd happened in my brain. I had them. I was a good mother, but not overly motherly, didn't want neighborhood kids running through my house, etc. I sacrificed for them, put them both through college, and now they are 30 and 28. Do I want grandchildren? No. My older son's wife is older than he is and can't get pregnant-they did, but lost the baby. My younger son, I have nothing to say about. We are on different planets.
Would I have children if I had it to do over again? No way on this earth. Still can't believe I did it. Doesnt mean I didn't love them or take care of them well, but I would stick to my guns and avoid the heartache. I wish more people would opt out. Those people certainly shouldn't have had them.
People should mind their own business, shouldn't they? Geez, they'd actually want someone who did not want children to have them, just so they could feel better. Or maybe they're just jealous that they didn't think of it before they had theirs.

 

[Agilityscots]

Kudos to you, Lurky, for working so hard to raise your daughter; I'm sure she appreciates it. Parenting really is hard work...and not for everyone!

Amy

 

[Agilityscots]

Quote:
Cynthia, I think what you've said is very interesting. When I was doing all my research on motherhood and women who were CBC, I read two great books: The Mask of Motherhood (can't remember author) and I'm Okay...You're A Brat! by Susan Jeffers. Both books aimed to tear away the veil over motherhood in our culture, because no one ever says anything "bad" about being a mom (and both books were written by mothers, incidentally). Many of the women interviewed felt duped after they had their own babies, because their friends only told them how wonderful and fulfilling motherhood was...they didn't tell them about the sheer exhaustion, about the constant worry, even the occasional desire to harm your child (or worse). Women were definitely afraid to admit that they wish they'd never had children, because it's the ultimate taboo in our society where women's value is intrinsically linked to motherhood and mothering ability.

So what you're saying is very refreshing, because it's so honest and it breaks a silence. Thank you.

Amy

 

[Chelly]

Interesting reading.

I am a mom - got three children - oldest is 19, youngest is 3 (I'm a sucker for punishment)

TO be honest, there are plenty of days I wish I was ALONE - I feel guilty thinking that, selfish! I still don't get a full nights sleep, my youngest wakes up every night!

I've been out with my husband ONCE since the youngest was born, for a work Christmas party.
I don't get nice new clothes anymore - I am lucky to get something on sale at walmart that doesn't fit properly - or I wear my husbands clothes. !

Children are VERY expensive thats for sure, we moved to Nebraska, a lot of the reasons were for the kids, California required us both to work LONG hours - then pay $200 a week for the little one's day care...
I do still work, but at home now - less hours and I can spend quality time with the kids and not have someone else raise them - but we had to make huge changes.

I do love my children, always wanted children and still do - just somedays - I'm a little selfish!