Anyone else have trouble saying No?


Frugal Fan Club President
15 Years
Jan 20, 2008
My in laws were looking to rescue an adult scottie, so that they could skip the puppy stage. The rescues they contacted multiple times couldn't even bother to respond, so they found a breeder. Okay, good, they need a dog, everything's great.
Then my SO comes home and tells me his parents are picking up the puppy this weekend and they'd like to know if they can drop it off at our house until it's potty trained.

Yeahhh . . .

His parents are so sweet I couldn't find the strength to say no. I never can say no to family, it makes me feel so guilty. Not sure where the guilt comes from.
I only get puppies in order to wind up with a good dog, but in this case I'll have to give it up right when it's starting to get really interesting. I know I'll fall in love with the thing, and that's going to be hard. I will be the one caring for it. My SO loves animals, but ultimately, if I didn't care for them, he probably wouldn't own them.
His parents aren't rude enough to expect us to pay for anything the puppy needs, and they do help out a ton so I feel like they can call in favors whenever they want, but I'm just thinking about all the work that goes into raising a puppy, the accidents, the whining, the middle of the night potty breaks . . . this is quite a favor.

Blarg. I'm not silly enough to blame anyone but myself, it's totally my fault for not having a spine, but still . . . blarg. I just thank goodness I actually like my in laws. I can't even imagine the bitter little jerk I'd be if they were the stereotypical evil in laws you always see being depicted. I'm going to just have to console myself by taking hundreds of cute puppy photos.

So, do other people have a hard time saying no when family asks favors of you? If not, may I borrow your spine for future use? I promise I'll try to return it in better condition than when I receive it, polish it up and all that, make it sparkle.
They want you to potty train their dog?

I try to help family and friends out as much as possible, but I won't potty train a human much less a dog.
I'm picturing them showing up at my door with an infant and saying, "Here, we'll come back for it once it's potty trained." Makes me feel better about it. Much easier to train a pup.
Yeah, that's a lot to ask. Still if they are always doing stuff for you guys, helping out a lot, it's kind of the other shoe dropping... you really have no choice when you accept favors but to return them when they call your marker up. Still it will be so hard to let that puppy go once trained.
Do you get visitation rights???
You letting yourself be a human doorstop. Unless your in-laws are completely disabled, they need to potty train their own puppy. Otherwise, the dog will need a significant amount of re-training later.

Also-I gotta add: there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. I had a friend who said he'd pay $50K for a good dog, and $100K for a bad dog, so he could turn it into a good dog.


Say it with me now:
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the dog will get very attached to you guys...then he'll have to go live with someone else... Not good for the dog.

I dont think i'd do it. I mean..if they want a dog..that comes with the responsibility. IMO
Although it sounds as though they help you guys out a lot, you might need a different way to say thank you.

I would just tell them that you would get too emotionally attached to the little guy and that you don't think that it would be good for the puppy to go from one home to the next.

If they are as sweet as you say then they probably will understand.
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I always have difficulty saying 'No'. I will say 'Yeah, sure' to anything, even if I don't want to do it- I am quite a shy character, so I feel bad saying No. I am finally beginning to 'open up' and begin to say No.
Fowltemptress, I really feel for you, because I have an incredibly difficult time saying NO!
I am learning, but it is not easy.

My opinion: Life is short, and sometimes it is the best thing to be honest.

I like how deb1 put it "maybe you need a different way to say thank you" And I like the angle of what is best for the dog.
Good luck!

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