Anyone lost any children??

[RubberChickenLubber]

Reading CarriBrown's post got me thinking of my dh and I about 8 years ago. We'd been married about 1 1/2 years and got to thinking of having our own children. It took 6 months for me to get pregnant. I had an u/s at 12 weeks b/c my ob could hear no heartbeat. Everything looked fine. My ob would not do another u/s even after 28 weeks and I still could not feel my daughter (eventhough we didn't know for sure she was a girl at the time). Long story short, Payton Ryleigh was stillborn at 36 weeks.

3 months later, we decided to try again. It took 3 months to conceive this time. I went to another ob, this time in Winston-Salem, it was worth the 1+ hour drive. Everything seemed fine, I had an u/s every visit. At 28 weeks he started falling behind in growth. Long story short, Kolby Greyson was born at 36 weeks and lived on life support at 17 days (the hardest choice we ever had to make).

Over a year later we decided to try again (by now everyone, including ourselves, thought we were insane to keep trying). I got pregnant right away. At 11 weeks, on our 5th wedding anniversary, we found out this baby had died too.

Well, we decided to forgo any bc. I bleed so bad with the d&c we didn't know if I could ever get pregnant again. Almost a year to the day later I was pregnant again. Now everyone was ready to send me to the the loony bin.

Long story short, Brennan Grady was born at 36 weeks, and healthy. Nothing like hearing my baby boy cry after all of this. My first baby was lost Sept 2000, and Brennan will be 3 on November 6.

When Brennan was 8 months old I got pregnant again, and Iveigh Meadow was born healthy.

So you know God will bless you. Sometimes you just have to endure some loss to get the blessing.

I always tell people who have lost children, Never give up. It is extremely painful to go through, but what doesn't kill you can make you stronger. Even if having you own child isn't possible, there is also adoption (which we started to pursue right before I got pregnant with Brennan).

 

[CarriBrown]

I'm so glad you were able to overcome that. You never will get over it, but you will get through it. My cousin, who I'm close with, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer (she's 25) last year. She was told she would never have a baby. Bonnie was born to be a mother. She's just that way. She was devistated. She got married and they started to try anyway. She was pregnant right away! But, she lost the baby at 8 weeks (on her birthday). The doc said that it was a very good sign she got pregnant right away. Bonnie beat the odds and chances are she will be able to have at least one child. They were able to start trying again this month.
I'll tell her your story. I think it will really help her.
I think it is so sad that there are people who screw around and get pregnant when they don't want to, while people like you and my cousin yern for a child.

 

[chickenranchwife]

I had 5 miscarriages. They are painful. I didn't have problems getting pregnant, it was staying pregnant. I had to take a hormone to stay pregnant. I have three healthy children. It's tough loosing a baby. Sorry for your pain and loss

 

[RubberChickenLubber]

Maybe if nothing else this thread can give us all who have lost a place to talk about it. Even though it's been 4 1/2 years since my last loss, I still need to talk about it sometimes. I believe we all do. Payton would have been seven Sept 30th and Kolby would be turning 6 Nov 30. Thanks all for listening to me.

 

[BantyChickMom]

Most of us are blessed with the no troubles conceiving and giving birth, and we often take this for granted when we can acheive it so easily.
There are many women who are unable to conceive for any # of reasons, and they seem to be the ones that so desperately want a child.
Adoption is wonderful and helps millions of children every year to find a loving home that they otherwise wouldn't have, but still, I feel that you miss out on something really special feeling a baby grow inside of you and experiencing the Miracle of Birth

My heart goes out to all of you who are unable to conceive.
And I feel there would be nothing worse for me than losing one of my children.
For anyone who carelessly gets pregnant should wake up and realize that children are blessings from above and we should love them unconditionally and protect them at all cost.

 

[wendy]

sorry to hear about your losses. i had gotten pregnant two years after my first child. when i went to the doctor after having some pain and bleeding they did a ultrasound and the doctor said there was no heart beat. i asked if he was sure, so he did a vaginal ultrasound. still no heartbeat. he said he would get one of his partners to come look if i wanted. i said no i trust you, so he said i could go home and wait to miscarry or i could have a dnc. i chose a dnc, i did not want to wait for the inevitable. he said my body could have chosen to take two weeks to abort. i just could not do that, i would have made myself physically ill just waiting. i was 12 weeks not to far along. but it was still tough since i had gone through child birth once and saw what a miracle it is!

 

[Frozen Feathers]

I've had 2 miscarriages. One at 14 weeks and the other at 12. It is sad and people don't quiet understand what you're going through.

I had the first miscarriage when I was 22 and it was very hard (and still is) on me. Mainly because I found out after that I am RH- and that my own body may have rejected the baby. I am angry that a blood test was never taken and I am angry that a simple Rhogam shot may have prevented my loss, but it happened too late.

Then at 25 I had my wonderful DD and I feel truly blessed to have her. This past spring I had my second miscarriage at 12 weeks and we haven't tried since. Honestly, I am afraid to try again. It is devastating, telling all my friends and relatives, everyone being so happy and excited and then having the walls crash down around you.

I am glad that this thread was started. My DH doesn't understand and friends say they do, but they really don't. It's like it happens, for a week everyone is sad and then you're left to suffer in silence. The hardest thing is the self blame, I think. All the "what ifs" and "what did I do wrongs", over-analyzing every thing I ate or drank and did. People can tell me over and over again that I did nothing wrong and in my head I know this, but it aches in my heart.

 

[wendy]

i know what you mean about the what if's. i had thought my baby having no heart beat was from taking ibuprofen before i knew i was pregnant. my doctor said no one dose of ibuprofen would not have caused this. he said it was God's way of dealing with it. which i do believe God only gives us what we can handle and things happen for a reason. we don't see it at the time, but looking back we are stronger and i hope i am not offending anyone here who may not feel the way i do about that.

edited to say: it is still not easy even if you do have a relationship with God. but we can always go to him in prayer when other's don't understand or we seem to be alone in how we feel. and he will get us through it.

i love that saying from the movie steel magnolia's olympia dukasis said "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger"

 

[BlueDevilGirl67]

I too have lost a child and it was probably a good thing since I was unmarried and was in an abusive relationship, it would not have been good for the child. I just recently heard a message on the myth " God will not put anything on you that you cannot handle". Yes he will because he wants you to come to him and give it to him to handle and you know what, it makes sense.

 

[SpottedCrow]

As I posted in Carri's thread, I lost my daughter, Anastasia Olga Marie. She'd be 19 now. I've seen her and know that she would have long curly hair from me and she'd have olive skin and dark eyes like her father.
These are some of the hardest things for a couple to go through...
My sister lost a baby also. The little boy didn't have enough veins/arteries in his umbilical cord and her amniotic fluid was low.
My best friend did also...no reason...
I agree Carri...the one's who don't want/need children are Fertile Myrtles.