Are there any care givers out there like Me?????????

[cluckcluck42]

Bless your heart, you are going through so much. You are such a strong woman to deal with all these trials and tribulations.

When you feel like crying, take ten minutes, go run a shower, sit in it and CRY. A lot can be said about just letting it out once in awhile. Sometimes you feel better after a cry, sometimes not but at least it releases some of the frustration.

Animals are great stress relievers, I'm glad your chooks give you some much needed peace and alone time.

 

[oesdog]

Thanks - its just really tough when Danny has not got a structured day. I can;t give him the same as the day care centre does. They are wonderful and Danny has come on so much these last few years. That is another reason why we don;t want to go down certain routs with Meds. It is frustrating because we are trying to ballance things out to give him best quality life but he can go up to 36 hrs without sleep even with the Melatonin - it is the meds for his Epilepsy - probably? We have to control that as he has a history of status with heart failure so am not messing with that drug - It works! Though he is still getting Complex partial seisures we have not had a major one since 1997 but its the monster beneath isn;t it! You just know its there ready to strike! We were asked if we would use Kapra but some kids go hyper on it and are uncontrolable and I just can;t cope with that as if it went badly it would be terrible for us and I can;t take that risk. On a good night we can get 3-5 hrs! - we take turns - Ha! Dotty is a great help but in her condition at the moment its not possible and I wouldn;t let her anyhow. She is just about to give birth anyday and we must protect her and baby! I am just really tired right now.

Sometimes it gets to me. - I remember silly things like once we went away and were staying in an appartment on the North coast here and I forgot Danny's bricks ( That is like worse than death!) So I had to go buy some - I lifted the packet and it said for kids 18 months - 3 yrs!!!!!!! - I stood and cried before I took them home to Danny who was 17 yrs old at the time - he's 23 now and I still DON:T dare leave the bricks behind!!!!!!!! Danny is the most fantastic person in the world! He makes me laugh and cry all at the same moment. He comes out with the funniest things. Like "Get a life" - Or Do you want a cuddle darlin? - refering to himself! Sometimes he calls me wife not mum which is hallarious!

Anyhow I am tired and have just completed my Tigger song and closed his bedroom door for a few hours( We have to have the Tigger song everynight before bed! ) Its near 10.30 and he will be up again between 2 - 3 am So I need to go get some sleep.


Oesdog - I feel better now! - All vented I guess. -

 

[sunflowerenvy]

just want to stop by to give u a hug today.{{{{{{{{{{{{{{oesdog}}}}}}}}}}}]]] i been very busy with mom lately and my garden did not go well this summer it was to darn hot.
hugs
laura

 

[oesdog]

Quote:
Thanks for that! I need hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oesdog

 

[justbugged]

hugs from me too!!! I can so relate to what you are going through. My little girl didn't live quite a whole year, but I remember thinking that when I brought her home from the hospital that I would have for a lot years. I cherish very one of the 333 days that she was here for. I can relate to the pain also. It's good that you have a good doctor. I still get the run around from doctors. They just don't like to deal with Fibromyalgia. Not sleeping enough often makes it worse. I have finally realized that the pain is worse than I think when I get the thought that puking sounds like fun. I feel blessed that right now I don't have to care anything but the animals.

I so wish I lived closer to you. I would help for sure. After caring for my granny as a teenager, I am sure that I could handle anything that Danny could think of doing. But at least you know that there are some of us that really care.

Give Murphy a squeeze from me also.

 

[oesdog]

Thanks - We are just tired right now and it will get better once the baby is here and Danny is back to day care. Ben is settling into his suppervised work and they are really happy with him. He is a knowledgable chap and has a diploma in horticulture - but sadly he cannot do things we take for granted - like his phone prompts told him to feed his ferrit - so he fed the animal but it didn;t say to give it water and well I asked him if he tended it and he said yes. Then I got the call to say one was really ill. He had not watered and sadly it died. We have to be so careful - he was heart broken. All his promps have to be litterally by the letter or he simply doesn;t think things to a conclution like we would. I cannot imagine living with a brian injury like that. Maybe it is worse than Danny's??? Ben knows there is a lot wrong and social skills are a place we have to work really hard at. He kind of says it as it is and doesn;t think it through so often he will say offensive things without realising it. - He said to his young work mate in the car on the way home - Oh you have it easy - you don't sweat yet do you> as you are too young! The other boy is 18 yrs old! Then he went on to ask his Dad if he lost his tooth - the one DH was trying to hide! As it fell out! - Ben just wails on in and points everything out. He actually thought Dotty was going to have her baby torn out of her by the midwife last week- He got himself all wound up and worried that he even cycled to her house to make sure she was ok.

Sometimes kids are hard work - but at least I have mine! It could have been worse ! - I did miscarry a baby but nothing compared to losing a babe in arms that would really really hurt a great deal - Hugs to you Just bugged

Oesdog - feeling better today - yeah up at 2.30 again Danny was soaked through and everything including all bedding needed changed again! Such is life these days.

 

[featherbaby]

I have been reading your posts for some time now and want you to know I am praying for you and your family. I have taken encouragement from your situation and the incredible courage with which you meet your huge challenges. My burdens are trivial compared to yours, but I understand and identify with what you are going through.

Three months ago I brought my 85 year old parents to live with me. My mom has dementia and doesn't know who I am (she alternates between about 5 years old and adult mentality). She had a cracked vertebrae and lived in constant pain until I got her to a surgeon who repaired it 3 weeks ago. My dad has had 2 strokes (that I know of) and can't think clearly or communicate (only speaks gibberish with the occasional recognizable word), and is confined to a hospital bed. He is beginning to refuse food and can hardly swallow. I had to make the decision to call in Hospice last week. It was so hard to give up hope that he would recover. However, the facts are indisputable. Both are in diapers, they have different needs and diets, I feel pulled apart constantly. I am single, live alone, 59 years old, and feel like my life (as I'd hoped to live it) is over. I guess you can tell I'm fighting despair today. Some days I do better than others.

Thank you for sharing your story and letting me see that it CAN be done when I think I can't do it one more minute. I can't wait to see the glittering crown you will have in heaven for your selfless dedication and unbelievable love here on earth. I truly believe that God will reward you beyond your fondest hopes for the incredible sacrifice you have made here.

Sandi

 

[oesdog]

Quote:
Oh sandi - your story really made me feel so sad for you. You love your mum and Dad so dearly and yet in many ways the mum and Dad they were are already lost to you now. I know by what you say you have a very deep belief in God and that can and does help a great deal. You must be totally exhausted. Do you have any one comming in each day to help you? What about lifting adn showering needs? Do you have a hoist and shower aids for your mum and dad???? Your self sacrifince is deeply touching - You could have walked away but you didn;t You hung on in there. -

God has called you :
When you were growing in your mothers womb she carried you - now it is your turn to carry her!
When you couldn;t talk and spoke gibberish your daddy smiled at you and tried to work it out often he couldn;t and just smiled reasuringly - now it is your turn to do the same back again for him.
When you couldn;t use the bathroom and were always dirty your mum and dad sighed to each other and reached for another diaper - now you must do that for them.
They made such a sacrifice for you and brought you into this world - now you must sacrifice your world to help them leave theirs.

You Are A Strong Person and You CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! -

You made me smile about crowns in glory - to be honest with you I think perhaps a deal of folk may be a little disapointed as I am not sure we will have any use for gold or silver or presious stones in heaven. - I have watched our Queen trying to ballance a heavy crown on her aging head and I think please lord don;t let me have to do that for eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I watch the beauty of the silver threads in the ocean and its reflection in the sky, I see the beauty of the golden fall colours as the trees change and drop their leaves and I see the joy on faces of children as the splash in sea water or trail through piles of golden leaves - I think lord if I have to wear a crown please can I have one made of those things instead?

Hope you have time to rest today - give your mum and dad a big hug and tell them you love them today. One day you wont be able to do that so - take this day to enjoy the things you can and each day remember to take away a good memory! You say your life is not how you thought it would be - one day you will look back at this time and wish you could do it for just one more day. - Love Love Love them and keep their memories close to your heart.

Oesdog -

You encourage me!!!!!!!! YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!