Arg... my MOTHER!

[chickenannie]

I think Moms are different and unfortunately some are just mean and nasty and cruel. I'm guessing warm thoughts of "those" moms is just not going to happen. However, a little complaining and nagging and OCD, hey, we're all human right?

 

[Robin L]

I agree with the poster who say get a grip and love them while they are here. My mom is completely disabled and miss doing the things we use to do. I believe my mom would give anything to be blueberry picking.

 

[purplebaby]

i just spent a month with my mil here and next week i go to visit my mom for a week.....

just a tad over wrought, love em both but..... sometimes.

 

[Reinbeau]

Quote:
It's sad that you mother is disabled, and it's wonderful that she's a loving mother, however, I don't see anyone here who has a rather testy mother telling you how you should feel about her. Good for you that you had a wonderful mother. Mine can be wonderful, but due to her horrible upbringing she can be absolutely horrible, too. It's sometimes hard to have to love the mother you have when the mother you have is flawed. Mine can be downright cruel, fortunately her nice days are frequent. The cruel days, however, are tough to deal with. I went to counseling for a few years to get to the point where I could forgive her, now I just grit my teeth and bear the unpleasant periods and spend my time with her when she's being nice. I will miss her when she's gone, but I won't miss her nasty behavior.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
It's sad that you mother is disabled, and it's wonderful that she's a loving mother, however, I don't see anyone here who has a rather testy mother telling you how you should feel about her. Good for you that you had a wonderful mother. Mine can be wonderful, but due to her horrible upbringing she can be absolutely horrible, too. It's sometimes hard to have to love the mother you have when the mother you have is flawed. Mine can be downright cruel, fortunately her nice days are frequent. The cruel days, however, are tough to deal with. I went to counseling for a few years to get to the point where I could forgive her, now I just grit my teeth and bear the unpleasant periods and spend my time with her when she's being nice. I will miss her when she's gone, but I won't miss her nasty behavior.

I had an abusive mother who loved to say nasty things as soon as I started to feel good about myself. She was selfish and mean, although she had moments when she could be the exact opposite. I had no idea what mom I was going to have each day, the good, fun one or the nutty, cruel one.

When my kids reached a certain age and could think for themselves, she stopped being nice to them. My kids had never been exposed to manipulative behavior so they didn't know how to ignore her. They were crushed by some of her actions.

For their sake, I had to break off contact with her. I wish that I had done it sooner. To be honest, I have sometimes wondered if I would have been better off in Foster care then with her. Yeah. She was that bad.

My mother is dead now. She was a Christian but an undiagnosed mental order(I think borderline personality with narcistic tendencies) made it impossible for her to be a good mother. I have comfort in thinking that in heaven that craziness is washed from her.

But miss her...sadly no. Its horrible to say but my life is so peaceful and happy now that I don't have to worry about her or having her shoot me down.

I've long since forgiven her and moved on.

IT is wonderful that some people have good relationships with their moms. But you can't think that because you are blessed with a good, normal mom that being a mother makes a woman stop being selfish, crazy or mean.

I do miss my grandmother who partially raised me. She was crazy too but she wanted what was best for me and didn't verbally or mentally abuse me.

 

[luvzmybabz]

I am so happy for those of you that have wonderful mother.............but trust me not all motheres are that way. I have not talked to my mother for over a year and have gone through 5 years of therapy to deal with a lot of my issues concerning my mother. My grandmother raised me until I was 6 then from 13 on my mother doesn't get along with her mom and used me to hurt her mother and is now trying to use my kids to hurt me and my grandmother if my kids see my mom they ignore her.

Those of you with wonderful moms cherish them and let them know that....................those with not so wonderful moms after 5 years of Therapy I can say it is OK not to like your mom heck you can even have those days where you hate her.....just don't let the hate eat at you.

 

[Hangin Wit My Peeps]

My mother used to get on my nerves sometimes...I think that happens to everyone at one point in their lives...but now that she is gone I MISS her something awful! It's been years and I STILL want to pick up and dial her number that is STILL in my mind. Love your mother while you have her! It's not always going to be that way. Now all I wish for IS her complaints back.

Now my daddy lives with me and I WILL not complain about him never taking off his shoes and making my house all muddy! He's 81 so I make sure he's as comfortable as he can be! He still drives and acts like he's 60.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Good advice.

 

[LV426]

I went 7 years without talking to my mother. I have just recently begun to open communications with her on MY terms not hers. As long as she's on medication she's not as bad but when she's off it she's a mad woman. She's a pathological liar and she's mean and manipulative. It was like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You never knew what kind of person you would have to deal with from day to day. Sometimes she would be great and be a decent person and we would have fun and the next she was a stark raving mad harpy that was intent upon stripping the flesh from my bones with hatred and spite.

Anytime I was up she would cut me down and when I was down she would drag me down lower. Nothing was ever her fault and I was the reason her life and her marriage failed. I hated her for a long time and I let her dictate who I was for far too long. And then one day I woke up and realized I didn't want to be miserable like her anymore and I packed a suitcase and walked out.

 

[nccountrygirl]

I'm thankful that the good Lord saw fit to give me two precious and loving mothers that both love me. The first was my mother who died when I was 18 and I still miss her terribly, the second is my mama who raised me from the time I was 7 and is the best mama ever, I am truly a blessed women to have had such wonderful women in my life. I am truly sorry for those of you have have had such problems with yours. It is sad to know that not all mothers want to cherish and embrace their daughters and to stick by them through the good time and the bad. My prayer for you all is that sometime in the future you and your mothers can put aside all bitterness and strife and try to get along with each other. Life is short and time is like a vapor, it's gone before you know it.