Autism, Aspergers, PDD/NOS, ADD/ADHD

[ursusarctosana]

Quote:
I would like to ask your opinion, as a person with autism. I have a 12 year old son who has rather eluded diagnosis, for lack of a better term. The one actual visit with professionals we managed to get, when he was 8-they told me he has 'austistic features' and sensory issues, but didn't meet the criteria for diagnosis. Then they said had I brought him in at age 3 or 4, based on his history, he would have been diagnosed as very high functioning autism. (he was also found to have a genius-level IQ of 140). They told me that the autism had 'faded'. The whole process was rather unhelpful.

Because some of the 'autistic features' that had faded, are becoming apparent again as he becomes a teen-he was just recently screened for ADHD and determined to not have that. He's defenitely 'different' and he knows it, and talks about it sometimes now. I wonder if a diagnosis would help him, so he could understand and accept it. Or, if we should let it go and just try to help him learn ways to cope (I work with him all the time to learn coping skills, I want things to go well for him).

I'm not really sure what to do, and since I don't usually think like he does (although, sometimes I do) I'm not sure how it comes across to him.

First I will say that I am sorry I cannot give you a concrete answer regarding whether or not to receive a diagnosis. I think the benefit or damage of receiving a diagnosis is so individual that it is difficult to tell what the outcome of receiving or not receiving one will be. I can say, personally, that had I known about myself when I was much younger life would have made a lot more sense. I have a special ability to analyze my own behavior and this self-awareness has helped me explain myself to my loved ones. This has alleviated a lot of stress in our relationships, but it does not change most of the interactions I have with the outside world (workplace, grocery store, etc.).

So receiving a diagnosis is extremely subjective and your son may be glad he did/did not receive one later on when he has sorted out his life experiences as he grows older. It is hard to say.

I know I "beat my head against the wall" for most of my life trying to figure out what was going on. For a long time I thought it was other people. I'm glad I finally found out that I perceive the world differently from most others and that is why I react the way I do. Now that I am aware of that I can modify my behavior, though it takes a lot of effort.

 

[ursusarctosana]

For those who care for loved ones anywhere on the spectrum it is worth checking out Soma Mukhopadhyay's "Rapid Prompting Method" which she developed and used for her own son Tito who is a gifted poet, though he is practically non-verbal. For those of us who have autism, like me, that have friends who also have autism, like Tito, there can be an immediate connection, especially when we converse via the internet, because we have so much in common. While some of us may be verbal and other non-verbal, I believe our reactions to stress is individual and some of us may be more severely affected on a neuro-biological level, yet deep inside we exist with our complex thoughts and differences that often make us unique and creative, detailed and gifted. For some reason I can speak, form sentences, etc., but speech is not the only means of communicating--it is simply the most 'convenient' means of communication according to 'society'. When I think of how little the average person (I know) reads or takes the time to research and work out difficult problems, I know there exists a huge gap between reality (that a non-verbal person has just as much to say as a verbal person) and the assumptions people make because someone is non-verbal. Renown linguists have proven that linguistic ability has little bearing on actual intellectual ability. A person who experiences significant mental delay may be able to speak so clearly, using a great vocabulary and grammar, about going to the bank, depositing money, and balancing a check book when, in reality, he or she may not even know the first thing about a bank, how to count money, or what a check balancing ledger looks like.

Anyway, to find out more about Soma's "Rapid Prompting Method" please visit http://www.halo-soma.org/main.php?sess_id=242acf1d84f397d5c1eadd7d0682e317.

Currently, Tito and I have plans to publish a coffee table book featuring his poetry and my photographs. Tito is an amazing young man and his mother worked wonders with her patience and skill. I was lucky, too, as I had a grandmother who supplied everything I needed to pursue any interest I had as a child, plus she read to me, played turn-taking games, and made sure I ate nutritious meals. I will never be able to thank my grandma enough. However, it was different with my own mother. My physical actions, special interests, repetitive play, and even the way I laughed irritated my mother to no end and she didn't hesitate to remind me of it every day I was with her.

Thank you.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

Looks like Vitamin D is a hardworking and very necessary vitamin.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7871598.stm

 

[KatyTheChickenLady]

Honestly this has been the best thread on autism/aspbergers I have ever participated in. I so wish that this had been available when my daughter was young and sooooo difficult, the diagnosis was newer then and there wasn't much info out there. The best advice I can give anyone is this; talk to everyone, listen to everyone and pick what may work for your family from there.
We went from non-verbal, stemming, screaching, under the bed, picky retentive (literally), zero eye contact, sleepless nights, sleepless days, white gloves, "voices", and hallucinations to a brilliant, college bound beauty queen . . . with a friend!!!
Was it that bad in the beginning YES, did I think it would continue her whole life, YES. Did people stare and blame it on me, YES.
I had to shut out the whole world who didn't have one of their own and figure it out from there, and so did all of the other parents on here with kids over the age of about 16; their expereience is invaluable to you. Talk to me or them, and then talk some more. Your on a hard road but it is A LOT easier to travel it with someone to talk to that has gone down it already. PM me if you need to.
Standard Poodle - you won't regret this, my daughters dog lies across her when she is in need of "blanket time" He just knows even before she does.
Diet - Try cutting out glutten & cassien (bread and cheese), I know that sounds hard but try it for say 12 weeks and then re-evaluate.
Vitamin therapy - yes!
Testing for mercury/lead/ & other overloads - I never did this, but someone on here suggested it and we are going to try it too - what if that was all it was??? Her son looks people in the eye now!

 

[okiemommy]

Did people stare and blame it on me, YES.

This is a really really hard one for me

 

[Wifezilla]

Oh I still deal with this garbage

 

[ursusarctosana]

Quote:
It's because people are ignorant. They seem to enjoy judging others and telling them what to do. People are unpleasant in a lot of ways. Unfortunately.

 

[chickiebaby]

Hey, and are our poodles just the best thing ever?

Love.

 

[okiemommy]

Chickiebaby,

Yep that sounds familiar. My parents aren't so vocal about it, but are critical just the same. Why is he crying like that? Why do you just let him "get away" with throwing tantrums? You should spank him, then he would stop. They think nothing's wrong with him and that he is just throwing bad tantrums. She has yelled at him before, and I stopped her right in her tracks and yelled back at her and said would you yell at a deaf child for not being able to hear?!?!? They don't want to get it.


ETA: maybe that's why it gets under my skin so bad when strangers judge-my family does the same thing. We don't have that as a support system.

 

[Henrietta23]

I attended a Professional Development presentation on Autism yesterday with the Speech Pathology department of our district. (I'm a speech assistant). The presenter attempted to show "Autism: The Musical". Have any of you even seen it? There were technical difficulties and we never got past the profiles of the children involved to see the actual musical rehearsals, etc.