BIL is trying to ruin things for us again....sorry so long.....

[coffeelady3]

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When the bill collectors call, make sure you give them his phone number, address, place of employment, and any other pertinent information that they might find helpful!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

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We do have an idea of what he can/will/and has done. Here's the short list from when he harrassed us 11 years ago:

Forged DH's signature as co-signer on loan for a car after DH refused to co-sign. Which means he had DH's SSI # and other personal information.

He was living with us, we told him to move out, so he stole one of our cars. He brought it back when we called the police so DH chose not to press charges.

When the bank forclosed on our home, he broke into the home while we were moving out and stole some of our furniture and personal belongings. We know this for fact, because we showed up as they (BIL and FIL) were leaving, called the police, and they were caught with the items in their car. Was considered a civil matter, so they were allowed to leave with my furniture!

Changed our mailing address, and was getting OUR mail to his MIL's house.

And that's just what he has done to us. We were thrilled when they moved to Florida.

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That's just it, we thought after they struggled to have children for the first 5 years they lived in Florida, that they would grow up, change, be kinder to people...Instead, they are just as bitter and hateful as ever...and think they are better than anyone because they can flash a few green backs around. SIL has been pregnant 3 times, and each pregnancy was twins, and they lost babies every pregnancy. The last pregnancy, twin boy and girl, they had an emergency c-section at 31 weeks, which resulted in a tiny baby girl and a stillborn son. The little girl is now 2 and a half, and spoiled.

May I note, I would never wish the loss of a child on anyone. Children are truly miracles and special blessings. My heart grieves for anyone who struggles to have a child.

My husband and I live simply, and we are so happy! (Ok, when BIL isn't meddling, we are happy) I think because we have so little, and are happy, they are jealous, because they have all the cool gadgets, new fangled toys, and all that jazz that we just aren't interested in. We are "living it up" on our farm, raising our own food, raising our kids, and just as in love now as we were when we married.

No, I take that back, we are more in love now than we were then.

I honestly believe it all boils down to jealousy. I think it gets to them that they who have the best of everything, are in truth, poorer than us who have the simplest of all things.

And we're happy.

 

[cassie]

Just a suggestion. If I were you, I would look into getting a new Social Security number since yours has been compromised. It may be more trouble than it is worth, but it might be worth looking into. Also, talk to any and all financial institutions you deal with about changing the identification questions they use to confirm identity to something BIL doesn't know. Since he knows your name, date of birth, SS number, see what else can be used instead. In this age of rampant identity theft, there has got to be something. Also there are identity theft companies that have policies you can subscribe to so that if anyone tries to obtain credit in your name, they can put the kabosh on it. I have seen them advertised on TV. I forget the name. Cardlock? As for BIL being allowed to drive off with your furniture because it was a "civil matter", since when is theft a civil matter? Methinks the cops just didn't want to be bothered.

 

[English Chick]

This is so heartbreaking. but do fight back! ........ change your lawyer, change your phone number (go ex-directory)... and do everything you humanely can to hang onto YOUR home..... take "no prisoners" as it is quite obvious they will not think twice of compromising you and your DH............

Now come on, stand straight, breathe deeply and get in there and fight them/him tooth and nail............. keep records of everything..... ohhh this makes me sooooo mad!!!!! and yes I agree with the others your BIL is jealous of the loving relationship you have with your DH, sounds to me like he is one misrable sad person......

and keep us all posted...........

 

[Kansaseq]

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I think the company is called "Life Lock", but not positive.

 

[speckledhen]

I feel for you. Sometimes, family is simply toxic to your mental health, as well as general well-being, and you have to cut the ties. Sad, but true.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

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Exactly! My husband told both his dad and his brother that we are done having any socialization with them. They are not welcome to come visit or anything. When my BIL did this 11 years ago, we moved and didn't speak to anyone in my husband's side of the family for 3 years! By the time we did, we had a 2 year old daughter, a son on the way, and were doing quite well for ourselves inspite of them.

I plan to come out of this with my head held high. A couple opportunities have presented themselves, and it would improve things for our small farm immensely if we take either of them. We wouldn't have to give up where we are either, if we took either opportunity.

I will admit, first day or two I was hurt, today, I'm determined to hold on to what we've worked for, and I'm not going to tuck tail and run, or give in to them without standing up and giving all I can to hold on to what we have.

Don't we tell our kids not to give in to a bully because it just makes the bully worse? Wouldn't that apply here?

 

[dun chick]

What jerks, the bil is a piece of work. His dad should be ashamed of how he is siding with the other son.
First get yourself a better attorney. It is life lock, a friend of ours had identity stolen from them and uses it. http://www.lifelock.com/

 

[HennysMom]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

On top of what FrChuck stated and the others as far as getting a new lawyer. I'd also like to add the following:

- you need to put an add in the classified section of the paper (in Legal area) that states you and your husband will not be responsible for any debt incurred by anyone other than yourselves. Look in your local paper, you will see how to word it - then place one for a week to 10 days and keep the papers - along with a copy of the receipt stating how long you placed it for. It puts the public on notice that ANY debt not incured by you or DH is not your responsibility and you cannot be held liable for it. Yes, even if BIL or FIL do not get the paper or read that section - the opportunity is there FOR them to do so, so it will uphold in a court of law.

- change your mail to go to an unlisted PO box - that way you must go to the post office to get any and all mail. It might be a pain for you and DH but its well worth not having things possibly stolen again or changed.

- call EVERY account you own (utilities, credit cards, credit report, social security, car, DMV, doctors you regularly see, etc...) and put a PASSWORD PROTECTION on them (we have them on every account we have). Why do this? Because if you dont have the password, no one can access your accounts - not even YOU - so make sure you write down whatever it is and put it somewhere (can be words, numbers or a combination of the two). We were "slammed" once with our home phone (someone switched us unknowingly and we got a huge bill...) I called Verizon and wanted to know who authorized the switch, they didnt know - they ate the bill - from then on every account we own has a password protection on it - even our AAA membership. Nothing can be changed or viewed without us giving that password first.

Do it.... if some say they dont have that - then tell them they will be responsible if your account gets changed and you are putting them on notice effective today (watch how fast they can create a password for your benefit

). DO NOT make the password the same on every account either - just in case someone figures it out (unlikely, but it can happen) - you can use the same one for a few accounts but then use a different one. And dont use your mothers maiden name, anniversary, birthdays, kids names, pets names, nicknames - too easy for nasty family members to figure out (since thats what you're protecting yourself from). Best combination is numbers and letters that mean something to you.


I know you love your farm there (who wouldnt?) but... is it really worth your and DH's health and peace of mind? You own property in TN, yes it may be a 2 bdrm house, but... if you make his family buy him outright, then you can use that money to invest in your property in TN. Peace of mind is worth more than all of this and in the end, it may end up costing you a ton of money to fight them all, not to mention your health and wellbeing. If you're worried about your children, dont worry too much - kids are pretty resilient and you'd be surprised at how they actually will do (and probably feel about the situation at hand currently).

Think about it - look around you and really think - will it all be worth it in the end? The legal fight could take years...... will that be worth it to you when you could invest those years, time and energy with your DH in a much peaceful place far far away from these people?

 

[Ol'FashionHen]

Hennysmom and Kansaseq

I agree with y'all you make some very good points!

Quail..... Bless your heart sister, I have a good friend I grew up with who has gone through some of what you have.
When her DH was 18 he and his parents purchased 115 acres of farm land for cattle and tobaccco. The land was beautiful, big trees lined on each side of the drive, an old 1800's half fallen down house, spring/spring house, three barns, big creek, and old slaves courters still in great shape with historical papers/old records on the farm. Her Dh and his parents have worked hard on the farm and they equally made payments together every year after they took in their crop/cattle. Her Dh has two younger brothers and when they needed a little extra cash they would work in the tobacco with his parents, and they always paid them too. Neither one ever put any money toward the purchase of the land. During the early years of the purchase her Dh was the only one that lived on the land for years (brothers never were interested in farming). He married, divorced, and laid his only child to rest all while living on this property. My friend married him when he was around 32 and they have a son. His parents and brothers were always used to him doing whatever they wanted him to do, well when she came along he wanted to spend time with her and their son, and she always helped him and his parents with the farm work. Needless to say his brothers actually jumped her Dh one day down at the barn (now my friend takes no poo off anyone) she whips out the rifle and proceeds down the hill (and she ain't no shrinkin' violet if you know what I mean

, but will work like a mule

) and they quickly jumped off her Dh. Anyhoo, one brother moved on the land across the street and would not give them their mail if it came over there by accident, so she would have to be precise to check the mail etc. Her so called Christian sil would give her the finger on a regular basis, but would tell her she would pray for her in public. Now let me clear something up here, my friend has been my friend and was my neighbor growing up all are lives, I hold her dear to my heart because she is a good friend and you can't find a better person with a kind heart. And her inlaws are so mean to her for no apparent reason, she has even asked them if there was something she did wrong and they had no excuse for their behavior. She has tried so hard to get along with these people and nothing. So let me tell you something else about my friend don't tick her off , and don't mess with her kids

. She quit takin' terds and started takin' a stance. When her DH turned 40 him and his parents made the last payment on the farm and his brothers wanted them to split the farm up equally amoungst them all 4 sections ( her DH, parents, brother 1, brother 2). Her Dh said I don't think so mom & dad can split their half with you but not my half. It was recorded in the deed as half and half. So his mom & dad went behind Dh's back and had the brother put on the deed. So they got a lawyer told them they had one year to buy him out or it all was going to be sold at auction (including all the farm equipment that he had half ownership of). One brother and his parents bought them out of his 57 1/2 acres, they took their money and purchased 80 acres with barns, ponds, put up fence, moved their cattle to land, and a mobile home, and no they do not speak to his brothers, and his parents wish now they had not given any land to his brothers. They are 30 miles away from all the bull now (which is now going on amoungst the parents, brothers ect.) They are so happy where they are now and I am happy for them. I will keep you in my prayers but I would advise take all precautions and get the tar outta there. There is a long list of the nasties about his family if you ever want to know just PM me. Sorry so long...