BIL is trying to ruin things for us again....sorry so long.....


11 Years
Aug 16, 2008
I am so heartbroken, and sick. I don't even know how to begin to tell ya'll what occurred yesterday, but I am asking all of you to please pray.

BIL from H-E-you know the rest....the ones that moved up from Florida in Januaray....he was at FIL's yesterday. DH had gone over to his Dad's to ask if he could borrow a chain to use with the come-a-long. BIL and Dad were just coming out of the old pasture field up there with a surveyor/concrete contractor. DH asked them what that guy was there for, and they both ignored him and changed the subject.

No big deal, so they don't want us to know what they are doing, right?

DH tried to talk to his dad about what is going on with GM and sharing what he saw on NBC Nightly News (comes on at 6:30 pm). BIL says something that's the complete opposite of what we heard on the news, so DH asked him, "Well, do you ever watch the news?"

BIL said, "I don't get to watch the news, because I work a job, so I have to wait until 11:30pm to get the news because I work until 6:30."

First, there is no 11:30pm news that I'm aware of, and regardless, BIL doesn't work a job, he talks people into selling him their mint honda goldwings, strips them down, and sells the parts on eBay. Good business if you can afford to pay $5K for a Goldwing just to strip it.

Secondly, what BIL said to DH was sooooooo hurtful. DH would give anything to be back in the full time workforce. He has so many times thought about going againt medical advice and getting a job. Problem is, his doctor has warned him that if he doesn't follow medical advice, he could paralyze himself, and that has him scared.

It gets worse. BIL kept mouthing off to DH, even when DH was trying to ignore him. He was doing all he could to provoke DH, and we aren't even sure why. Then his Dad asked about the house we were left in TN and DH told Dad we found out that the house is paid in full, so once the will is probated, we probably have a second home.

BIL was quite shocked, and asked DH what are we going to do with a house in TN. DH replied sell it, as it isn't big enough for us to live in (only 2 bedrooms) and it is in town, so we've no desire to live there. BIL's attitude got even worse after this information.

He started saying even more hateful and spiteful things to DH, and when DH came back with "you're just jealous because I can eat steak every night and you can't" Dad told DH to cool it! BIL's up there screaming like a banshee at DH, but DH is the one told to back off!

So DH tossed the chain he had borrowed from Dad out of his truck onto the ground, came back down to the house so sputtering mad he couldn't get two words out, grabbed the tools we had borrowed from his dad, and hauled them back up to his dad's. He was setting the stuff out of his truck, and BIL's screaming, "You want a piece of me? Come around that truck and get me!"

DH told him, "No, if you want to fight, come to my ground, because as soon as you get there, I'm calling the sheriff." Then he got in his truck and came home. Course, BIL did NOT come to our house, and we knew he wouldn't. DH had no intentions of fighting him, either, if he did come down...we would have had him arrested for trespassing. Before he left, he told his dad and his brother that they are both dead to him.

Here's the worst of it. BIL's been making slurs regarding our property, even though he has NO rights to the place. DH only has partial ownership of the ground where we live. His mom's name is second on the deed, and his other brother who is in prison (long story) is third on the deed.

5 years ago we were told that we can legally live on the property since DH's name is on the deed and they can't make us leave. That may be so, but they are trying to make us miserable so we won't want to stay.

Since DH's mom passed away in '96 the deed has to go to probate to get her name off. Since there was no will, and her estate was less than $65K, Dad's name will get added to the deed. He has said he would willingly sign off, but since BIL is back now, FIL'll do what ever BIL tells him to do.

We spoke with our attorney yesterday. We have the following options:

1) Probate the will and hope the others will sign off their rights like they have told us they would do, since we've been paying all taxes, maintaining, improving, etc. since '99.

2) Probate the will, and buy the other two parties out for 2/3 the value of the ground, meaning they each get 1/3 of the appraised value.

3) Make them buy US out.

4) Send the property into a foreclosure if No one is willing to sign off or buy eachother out, and be forced to move.

We don't know what is going to happen, but I am soo heartbroken. All the work, sweat, tears, and blood we've put into here, and they want to ruin it just because they can't stand to see anyone but themselves succeed.

I don't want to move. I don't want to start over. This is our home. I just this year had a customer base built up for eggs and poultry. If we have to move, I have to start ALL over again.

We went through this 11 years ago, when we had tried to help BIL establish his credit and had co-signed on a loan for him, using OUR car for collateral. He blew his car up in a week, and refused to pay the loan payments. So we were paying to not lose OUR car. BIL calls the bank, pretends to be DH, tells the bank our address has changed and they need to get the car because no one is going to pay for it!!!!! We were paying for it! They came and took the car. Three weeks later, BIL and his new wife drove by our house in the car, and she stood up with the top down and waved with a big s*** eating grin on her face. The car was a '91 Chevy Camaro that DH had purchased new off the showroom floor.

Because of the reposession, the bank our 4 year old home was through, that DH had also purchased new, put into effect an acceleration clause on our mortgage, meaning our balance on our home was due in full! We were forced into bankruptcy and moved to TN shortly there after to escape the family and all their drama.

Then we learned that the property where we are living now wasn't being kept up on taxes, and was about to go to sheriffs sale. We prevented that by paying the taxes and moved back to Ohio and moved on it. We've been here since 2001 cleaning and maintaining, and actually living on the place since 2004 after we made it sustainable.

I went through this garbage with them 11 years ago! They were living in Florida for the last 7 years, and it was peaceful! We've been leaving them alone. I don't understand why they feel the need to come bother us now.


On a side note, this past week we started getting bill collectors calling looking for now he's giving out our phone number as his???
Quail, sorry to hear that you are going through this situation. However if your attorney had any brains he would have told you that because you paid up the back taxes and have maintained and improved the property you would be entitled to file a tax lien against the other owners of the property for thier share of the taxes and improvements. As if the property is free and clear of all incombrances as you say, then in most states, paying the past due taxes on the property supercedes any other claims on the property and you own it free and clear. You might want to check into that as well.

First, check with the local Property Values Assessor's Office for the actual listed assessed value of the property and what the actual yearly taxes are. You may qualify for an exemption or two, or the property could be overvalued and you may get a reduction in the taxes.

Second, when you probate the estate, make sure your attorney files for the repayment of any taxes, improvements made to the property by your and your husband. Make sure that he doesn't let them say that what you did was in lieu of rent.

If you can, get the brother in prison to commit in writing his intention to sign over his share of the property. If he does that will only leave the father to deal with. If you have people outside the family that can attest to the fact that the father said he would sign over the property and are willing to sign a notorized statement to that effect have them do so. Then give them to your attorney to add to your portion of the case file.

Good luck,
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Excellent advice!! You need to bring what Chuck said up to your lawyer. I was also wondering about if you have been paying taxes and all the upkeep for 10 years now, doesn't that mean you have legal right to all the property, like squatters rights or something. Might want to check into that while you are telling your lawyer about the lien.

Good luck and I am so sorry you are going through all this with you BIL
In the state of Ohio, you have to maintain the taxes and property for 21 years to claim it as your own.

We asked about filing a lien on them for all the taxes and maintenence, the lawyer said they could bill us for back rent, stating that we've lived here free of charge....which doesn't make sense to me since my husband has part ownership.

We are writing a letter to DH's brother in prison, going to try to arrange a visit with him face to face so we can talk to him ourselves.

Our attorney told us we can push the probate through without FIL, but that doesn't mean he will sign off or DH's other brother and he wants us to have my other BIL sign off his rights to my FIL!! When I asked why not have them sign his over to me or DH, he said he thinks it's more likely he'd sign off to his dad, not his brother. SO that would give my FIL control over 2/3 instead of just 1/3.

Yes, we have non-related witnesses that can vouch for us, and will, that my FIL has said he would relinquish his rights to the ground to us.

For now, we are going on as we were, trying to pretend nothing is happening, and going to continue to work our farm as we have been, and hope and pray for the best. We full time farm this, so we're hoping that works in our favor as well.

ETA: We are also thinking of switching attorneys...
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Family can be so hurtful sometimes. It always seems they want to kick you to the curb-side when you are already down and out to begin with. Why can't they just leave well enough alone already?! I feel your pain, I've been through things with my family in the past. Its too bad that the house in TN isn't large enough for you, or I'd say, go as fast as you can!
I agee with the OP's change your phone # and NEVER give it to your BIL. Please keep us updated. I know its no consolation (sp), but try to stay calm, because in the end, it will end up hurting you.
I think that it is a good idea to find a new attorney. I agree that it sounds completely wrong that they can sue you for rent, when you are part owners. It just makes no sense to me. Your family is in my prayers and I hope everything works out! Keep us posted.
My DD says I just don't trust anyone, and maybe she is right, but you might get a video camera and hide it to take continuous pix. with a BIL like that you have no idea what he might do to get back at you and if you have pix, he can't deny anything. marrie and yesI would switch attorneys probably in another town, attorneys do talk even if they aren't supposed to.
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Quail that is so horrible and I am so sorry ou are going through all of this.

I know it is hard but please try to your life the best that you can and treat people fairly...BIL will get his due in time...because it does always come back around and much worse.
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