BYC Café

[DobieLover]

This is just despicable.

It truly is. I don't care if they get a nickel of inheritance. HE gets his money first. He needs it. I'm the exact same way with my mom. I try to protect her from herself. Now I have to protect DH from his family and their meddling. As I wrote in my previous reply, I have an outstanding attorney who now knows everything that is going on and will absolutely help me if I need him.
And if DH needed protecting from me, why not take him to live them? Oh no. They wouldn't want to have to do that. What an inconvenience. And incidentally I've asked DH a multitude of times that if that is what he wants, then he can live with them. I'll never stop him but don't want him to go. He doesn't want to live anywhere but with me. I don't think they even bother to try to really communicate with him. It is hard but he does still understand things. Just not the nuances and finer details.

 

[ronott1]

Morning Cafe. There is nothing good about it. But thanks for the hot coffee Shad. Maybe that will help.
The sh!t storm that has been brewing in the background with DHs family has exploded all over us. I texted DHs son yesterday morning to let him know that I activated the POA that his father and I had signed in Sept of 2017 and asked him to call our attorney as we assigned him monitor. I had to sign the consent form for DH as his legal representative for him to enter the open label study of the trial drug he was on.
I got a text in the afternoon from Jr stating he already has a POA with DH and our attorney is free to call him.
In reviewing my mother's POA (similar form would have been used for DH, same attorney prepared both) I see that there is a revocation clause in it revoking all prior POAs so that would make Jr's POA null and void. However, I need to wait for the attorney to call me back to confirm this as he has the original POA in his office. I don't have a copy but will be getting one today.
In the meantime, I tried to log into DHs account to show him how much money I've saved up for him and show him how he will still be able to put a little money aside each month even after paying for Nan. I couldn't access the account. Password changed. Couldn't reset the password on the account. User ID changed. We called the Credit Union. DH couldn't easily answer the security questions and the rep couldn't legally reset his account because of that and the POA on file with them regardless that he asked her to.
So now I have no way to access DHs money to pay for his share of the monthly living expenses, his medication or Nan.
Any decent POA has a clause in it stating that the it can be revoked if the best interests of the principal are not being honored. I don't see how anything Jr has done is in the best interest of his father.
This is such an awful situation that I've been put in and now I must focus all my efforts to correct it. I'm working on about 2 hours of sleep.
Oh, and just ensure my utter misery, Bella snapped the nail off her dew claw yesterday before we discovered all of this lovely behavior of his son. The last dog I had that lost a nail off the toe had periosteal reactive bone cells and it was recommended that her toe be amputated and it was. I hope it's nothing like that and just a simple injury. Still. Don't need it. Don't need ANY of it.

I am sorry this is happening!

Did they have DH sign papers on the visit last month? He does not seem capable of that at present

 

[DobieLover]

I am sorry this is happening!

Did they have DH sign papers on the visit last month? He does not seem capable of that at present

I wouldn't know but doubt it. All the conflict began when they started trying to tell me how to run our household regarding his care and the behind our backs jockeying started after he was already home. Jr seems to think that his POA is the enforceable one because "he got there first". That's ridiculous. People create wills, things change, they modify the will to reflect their new wishes and it nullifies the previous one. Duh. Right now the little butt munch can think he's in control of DHs finances all he wants. That rug is going to be yanked out from under him soon enough.
And just to be a petty little a-hole myself, I'm going to reschedule DHs next visit for his blood work for 9/11 in the afternoon when his uninvited and unwelcome-to-come-into-our-home rotten kids are coming for their unscheduled visit. I been told that they are coming up on 9/11. Congratulations. Enjoy your visit with your mother.
I've asked previously that they clear visits with me so I can make sure DH and I don't already have something planned. I don't like being TOLD. I much prefer being ASKED and agreeing upon a schedule that works for everyone. So when they show up, the house will be locked up tight with a irate Doberman barking her damn fool head off in it.
Oh, the truck and the car will be no where in sight. Let 'em stew on THAT!

 

[ronott1]

I wouldn't know but doubt it. All the conflict began when they started trying to tell me how to run our household regarding his care and the behind our backs jockeying started after he was already home. Jr seems to think that his POA is the enforceable one because "he got there first". That's ridiculous. People create wills, things change, they modify the will to reflect their new wishes and it nullifies the previous one. Duh. Right now the little butt munch can think he's in control of DHs finances all he wants. That rug is going to be yanked out from under him soon enough.
And just to be petty little a-hole myself, I'm going to reschedule DHs next visit for his blood work for 9/11 in the afternoon when his uninvited and unwelcome-to-come-into-our-home rotten kids are coming for their unscheduled visit. I been told that they are coming up on 9/11. Congratulations. Enjoy your visit with your mother.
I've asked previously that they clear visits with me so I can make sure DH and I don't already have something planned. I don't like being TOLD. I much prefer being ASKED and agreeing upon a schedule that works for everyone. So when they show up, the house will be locked up tight with a irate Doberman barking her damn fool head off in it.
Oh, the truck and the car will be no where in sight. Let 'em stew on THAT!

It is good that you are on top of this!

The Financial stuff is really bad. People can get into real trouble that way. Does the Son understand any of this?

 

[DobieLover]

Does the Son understand any of this?

I don't know and am about 100 miles past caring.

 

[Perris]

he is to be my AK-47

a good lawyer is an asset indeed! Putting your mind at rest so quickly, for a start!

How's Bella's nail/dew claw?

 

[DobieLover]

How's Bella's nail/dew claw?

It's got to hurt. She is licking it but not limping and still harassing her cat at her normal obnoxious level so maybe this gal has a very high threshold for pain.

 

[aart]

I've used this attorney for too many transactions to remember. He is honest and thorough and he knows me well enough that we communicate effectively.

Fantastic!!
So glad you've got good ammo.

How the hell did the son get the password for the bank account?
How and when will that be resolved?

 

[pennyJo1960]

Morning Cafe You go Tonya glad you have handle on this .. There is Son here that would fight me .. The one that lives here is golden.. BF and I have password books I keep it all go in it keeping this straight and paid

 

[Shadrach]

And just like that, the worry and nausea evaporated. My attorney, Jon, emailed me back at 8:00 a.m. sharp and asked me to call him which I did at 8:00 and 10 seconds... He answered the phone "well that was fast".

Our POA absolutely revokes the one that DH did with Jr 15 months prior.
I also mentioned to Jon (who of course already knows this) that the primary duty of the POA is to make decisions that are in the best interest of the principle and then explained what happened with the CU. That action alone is in NO WAY in DHs best interest and could have his POA revoked even without the one we have. I like to make these statements to fire him up too.

I've used this attorney for too many transactions to remember. He is honest and thorough and he knows me well enough that we communicate effectively. He knows that when I get fired up, he is to be my AK-47. Well after our conversation he has aimed himself at Jr. and loaded the mag. He's just waiting for me to pull the trigger. That will happen AFTER we pick up the original POA from Jon and present it to the CU and I secure his money IF it's even there. We will be opening a new account for him and transferring all his money there and then I'm securing the snot out of it.

How do you like me NOW, Jr?? Ha! Ha ha HA!

Do you think the relatives may have emptied his account?
Obviously you need whatever legal measures required to ensure you have the main say in his affairs bullet proof. Relatives after money if that is the case here have a horrible habit of doing the 'I'll be back' bit.