BYC Café

[Mtn Margie]

Morning! Lots of coffee and thanks.
Hugs to the Cafe!

 

[sourland]

Good morning, M & M.

 

[ronott1]

Happy Birthday Ron!!!
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Thanks! The cupcakes were very good

 

[aart]

Such a clustertangle, DL!
Wishing you all the strength and support possible.

 

[LaFleche]

She only just arrived Sunday. She brought stuff but no furniture. She's got all her boxes piled up in the dining area.



My other sister and her husband are picking mom up today and bringing her to dad's house (I have to work on it all day) so the 4 of us can discuss the situation and how to handle it. BIL and other sister (OS) think that crazy sister (CS) is bipolar and needs to be on meds. She certainly acts like she needs to be on meds.
I do sympathize with CS. It's not that I don't. I just have an obligation to protect my mother. She didn't know CS was this bad. No one did or she never would have offered for her to come up and live with her.
My number one priority is getting CS out of the house ASAP. She is toxic. My mom can't handle the stress.
If CS has no where to go and wants to be near 'family', fine. She keeps ranting about using her money, the money from selling dad's house and then selling mom's house (yes, the very house I just spent 4.5 months flipping for my mom to live in) and go buy "a bigger house with more bathrooms". I will be suggesting at today's family meeting that CS find a house in the area and buy it and move in.
She has it in her head that mom's house is half HER house and she has a right to do with it what she pleases as long as she can strong arm mom into submission. Well, again, guess who's got POA? Effective the date of signing 2 months after my dad died? Yours truly. And as her POA I will act in my mother's best interest and that is NOT selling her small, single level fully renovated house that she has grown very comfortable and secure in because CS doesn't like it. I'm glad she doesn't like it. GET ONE OF YOUR OWN AND GET OUT!!

Have you and your other siblings already considered if some kind of temporary hospitalization in a mental institution might be the best help CS can get in her situation? She will get proper medication and counseling etc. AND out of your hair at least for some time.

 

[LaFleche]

I divorced myself from her the day we buried our mother. I've never looked back.

Sometimes "divorcing" toxic, selfcentered and egomaniac family members is the only effective thing you can do to regain peace of mind and be able to go on with your own life.

 

[pennyJo1960]

Morning Cafe, sure hope you can figure out what and how Tonya ...

 

[bruceha2000]

Most of it, but stuff keeps changing.

Hopefully it won't be too onerous. Good luck. Did you get snow? I heard Madrid got buried and they are WAY south of you.

Have you and your other siblings already considered if some kind of temporary hospitalization in a mental institution might be the best help CS can get in her situation? She will get proper medication and counseling etc. AND out of your hair at least for some time.

I don't think that can be done without CS's permission unless a doctor has deemed her a danger to herself or others.

So it looks like the atom bomb finally went off. It's a massive train wreck down there.

And you did your best to stop that bomb from being dropped. Still you get to clean up the mess

She may very well have to be bodily removed from the house. She's that bad.

You have the necessary skills to change the locks. Hopefully you also have the skills to keep everyone from giving CS a new key. I ASSUME she has no legal right to any proceeds from the house sale.

I had a sister similar to Tonya's. I divorced myself from her the day we buried our mother. I've never looked back.

So many sad "family stories". I hope Tonya doesn't have to wait until her mother dies to sideline CS.

 

[LaFleche]

I don't think that can be done without CS's permission unless a doctor has deemed her a danger to herself or others.

I was thinking that maybe, if all of the others agree to it, they could all try to convince her that this would be the best temporary option for her in the given situation, having professionals looking after her etc.

ETA: It would also be a safe place for her to recover from all the strain she might have gone through with the divorce proceedings and regain focus and a new outlook.

 

[Shadrach]

Hopefully it won't be too onerous. Good luck. Did you get snow? I heard Madrid got buried and they are WAY south of you.

We didn't and probably wont now. Lots of rain and very windy. I'm having to go out to check none of the coops have blown over each time I hear a tree go down on the ridge. So far so good. Be glad when it moves on.