BYC Café

[LaFleche]

Cookie jar i am working on. View attachment 3038518

Very nice! Will this have a lighter colouring?

 

[sourland]

Across the street neighbors have a young chocolate lab. He's starting to become protective of their property (especially when their daughter is outside). I get it, but when he starts challenging me on my property that's a problem. Yesterday when I let Maggie out he was on our lawn and started growling at me. Maggie let out her fearsome growl/bark and charged at him. He went home in a hurry. They have invisible fence because the in-laws used it to control Teddy an aggressive pit/chesapeake retriever cross. Talked to the wife, and she realizes the dog is a problem, but her husband (he's a veterinarian) doesn't want to use it. I explained that there are two possibilities: the dog may get hit by a car and killed or the dog may/will bite someone. I also explained that if the dog bites the Princess, Maggie, or me we will have a significant problem. Joggers, bicyclists, walkers with kids frequent our road. It's a problem easily resolved BEFORE it happens.

 

[DobieLover]

Across the street neighbors have a young chocolate lab. He's starting to become protective of their property (especially when their daughter is outside). I get it, but when he starts challenging me on my property that's a problem. Yesterday when I let Maggie out he was on our lawn and started growling at me. Maggie let out her fearsome growl/bark and charged at him. He went home in a hurry. They have invisible fence because the in-laws used it to control Teddy an aggressive pit/chesapeake retriever cross. Talked to the wife, and she realizes the dog is a problem, but her husband (he's a veterinarian) doesn't want to use it. I explained that there are two possibilities: the dog may get hit by a car and killed or the dog may/will bite someone. I also explained that if the dog bites the Princess, Maggie, or me we will have a significant problem. Joggers, bicyclists, walkers with kids frequent our road. It's a problem easily resolved BEFORE it happens.

A veterinarian is that irresponsible? I hope no one gets hurt.

 

[DobieLover]

I'm really struggling emotionally keeping up with DHs decline. I basically have no life and I'm perpetually depressed. I'm getting nothing done here at the house and there is so much to do get it finished. So a couple of months ago I started looking into the next step for DHs care.

Right here in our home town are care giver homes owned by the same person that take dementia patients. They are private pay but I finally got access to all of DHs retirement accounts and he can afford it.

In talking with my nurse sister who works hospice, she told me she's had multiple patients at these homes. So that means DH could likely move to one of them and not need to move to a nursing home at all.

I've been talking with him about it and he was fine with it but when I mentioned I had made an appointment to go visit 2 sites, he almost started crying. I had to reassure him it was just to visit, that it wasn't time and hugged him until he settled down.

Today was visit day.

I'm relieved to report it went very well. He liked both sites. One of them is just over a mile away at the foot of the hill. One of the other residents there has a little dog that lives at the house and the owner of the business lives in a basement apartment in that site and has a little dog too. Dave liked both of them. That one is currently the one I prefer. I plan to continue to take him to his various appointments and bring him home one day a week so we can still spend time together but without all the weight on me to manage all of his care.

 

[pennyJo1960]

Ahhh my heart goes to you @DobieLover the decision cannot be simple for you at all ..

 

[sourland]

I'm really struggling emotionally keeping up with DHs decline. I basically have no life and I'm perpetually depressed. I'm getting nothing done here at the house and there is so much to do get it finished. So a couple of months ago I started looking into the next step for DHs care.

Right here in our home town are care giver homes owned by the same person that take dementia patients. They are private pay but I finally got access to all of DHs retirement accounts and he can afford it.

In talking with my nurse sister who works hospice, she told me she's had multiple patients at these homes. So that means DH could likely move to one of them and not need to move to a nursing home at all.

I've been talking with him about it and he was fine with it but when I mentioned I had made an appointment to go visit 2 sites, he almost started crying. I had to reassure him it was just to visit, that it wasn't time and hugged him until he settled down.

Today was visit day.

I'm relieved to report it went very well. He liked both sites. One of them is just over a mile away at the foot of the hill. One of the other residents there has a little dog that lives at the house and the owner of the business lives in a basement apartment in that site and has a little dog too. Dave liked both of them. That one is currently the one I prefer. I plan to continue to take him to his various appointments and bring him home one day a week so we can still spend time together but without all the weight on me to manage all of his care.

It will be a difficult adjustment, but if you don't take care of yourself - how can you take care of him. It is the sad but realistic next step, and I think that your projected plans of how to do it are logical and rational.

 

[Sally PB]

@DobieLover , No words, just

 

[aart]

@DobieLover sounds like you have good options and plan.

 

[DobieLover]

Thanks everyone.
I really believe making this step will be harder for me than him. But I have to do something. I'm not doing good at all.
I've booked 2 weeks at the beach house we went to last year in DE. The first week is for just me and the dogs. The second week I'll meet DHs brother halfway and take DH back to the beach.
I won't decide anything until we get back. The vacation is for the second half of May.

 

[pennyJo1960]

Sounds like there is good plan good plan @DobieLover My heart goes to both of you.