BYC Café

[Sally PB]

I think my neighbor lost a chicken recently. While coming back from a walk, Freya was interested in sniffing a black, dead bird. Only it wasn't a bird, it was just a wing. By the size, a chicken's wing.

First loss for either of us. (Except the 2 cockerels I culled.)

 

[CapricornFarm]

Very nice! Will this have a lighter colouring?

I was thinking Buff or Red

 

[pennyJo1960]

Morning Cafe woke a bit late .. lost 2 customers recently too many birds just now here also

 

[CapricornFarm]

Thanks everyone.
I really believe making this step will be harder for me than him. But I have to do something. I'm not doing good at all.
I've booked 2 weeks at the beach house we went to last year in DE. The first week is for just me and the dogs. The second week I'll meet DHs brother halfway and take DH back to the beach.
I won't decide anything until we get back. The vacation is for the second half of May.

Hugs to you. After a certain point, i just couldn't do it any more. I had my Aunt at my house for 6 months. My depression was overwhelming. She was a wonderful person, but her mind was destroyed by dementia.
Then i stayed with my Mom after my Dad died. For a year, we took care of her and cleaned and remodeled the house that had been neglected. Eventually i told my husband, i just can't do it any more. She had dementia as well.
So you need to take care of yourself. There's only so much you can do.

 

[DobieLover]

Hugs to you. After a certain point, i just couldn't do it any more. I had my Aunt at my house for 6 months. My depression was overwhelming. She was a wonderful person, but her mind was destroyed by dementia.
Then i stayed with my Mom after my Dad died. For a year, we took care of her and cleaned and remodeled the house that had been neglected. Eventually i told my husband, i just can't do it any more. She had dementia as well.
So you need to take care of yourself. There's only so much you can do.

Thanks, Cap.
Seems like you've had more than your fair share of care giving challenges yourself.

 

[CapricornFarm]

Thanks, Cap.
Seems like you've had more than your fair share of care giving challenges yourself.

Yeah, if i didn't have mental health issues, i would probably have kept them with us longer. But you have to care for yourself first. Even after they went to the nursing home ( same one), i bought Mom groceries every week, even though she got meals in the dining room. She liked her fruit and ice cream. And buying both of them items they needed, going to dentist or shopping. And clipping my yorkie that Mom kept with her.

 

[pennyJo1960]

I took care of my step Dad Ma asked so went there .. a year later Ma had to have help so she stayed with us till she lost her memory. I was not able to lift her by then .. Brother took her for a bit but ended up with her in a old folks home. She passed after a few months there.

 

[DobieLover]

Good morning Cafe. Coffee is ready.

We have a thin coating of snow out there and it's 13F.

I switched tactics last night. After I released Remi to go to roost, I snatched up Napoleon and tossed him in the ward. Tonk was busy warming a nest of eggs so I tossed her in there with him. I want to see how Remi does in the flock today without him around to harass her.
It's going to be a PITA today because it's staying below freezing and I'll have to keep taking water out for the inmates to drink.

 

[LaFleche]

I was thinking Buff or Red

I am curious to see how it will turn out.

 

[LaFleche]

I'm really struggling emotionally keeping up with DHs decline. I basically have no life and I'm perpetually depressed. I'm getting nothing done here at the house and there is so much to do get it finished. So a couple of months ago I started looking into the next step for DHs care.

Right here in our home town are care giver homes owned by the same person that take dementia patients. They are private pay but I finally got access to all of DHs retirement accounts and he can afford it.

In talking with my nurse sister who works hospice, she told me she's had multiple patients at these homes. So that means DH could likely move to one of them and not need to move to a nursing home at all.

I've been talking with him about it and he was fine with it but when I mentioned I had made an appointment to go visit 2 sites, he almost started crying. I had to reassure him it was just to visit, that it wasn't time and hugged him until he settled down.

Today was visit day.

I'm relieved to report it went very well. He liked both sites. One of them is just over a mile away at the foot of the hill. One of the other residents there has a little dog that lives at the house and the owner of the business lives in a basement apartment in that site and has a little dog too. Dave liked both of them. That one is currently the one I prefer. I plan to continue to take him to his various appointments and bring him home one day a week so we can still spend time together but without all the weight on me to manage all of his care.

I am very sorry this heart-wrenching moment is coming much sooner than you expected, but knowing him well cared for and entertained (the dogs!) right there in your neighbourhood, where you will be able to see him any time, might relieve some of the mental stress and guilt that always appears to be overwhelming in a situation like yours.