BYC Family, I need a Pick - Me- Up :(

[Goat_Walker]

Quote:
I am pretty thick skinned as it is. I know my skin could be thicker but i think I have a pretty good few layers. Im the kind of person who doesnt let what others say affect me - But when it comes to my family that changes. these are the people im supposed to be able to depend on from the day I was born but Ive been proved wrong time and time again by both my dad and my sister when I thought i could count on them to have my back. Thats what bothers me. That my own personal family doesnt have my back. Thats what hurts. Ive learned that I have to rely and depend on myself . Im looking forward to the drill sgt.'s yelling and such. Because Here is how I see it -

I May Hate it While Its Happening, I may want to Give Up - But I dont. I push on and finish what I started and at the end of the day all I want to do , Is do it all over again. Because I will be satisfyed ONLY if I give my all , and recieve the yelling and the shoving that will make me the best I can be.

 

[saddina]

Let's review:

Your dad is a consistently angry person who gets a kick outta yelling at you "the bad one" and adores your completely useless sister.

Said sister loves being daddy's favorite, and the more she torments you, the more he adores her.

Long and short it doesn't matter one bit what you do, they still will think it's the dumbest thing ever. So do what you want to do, and don't worry about them, they're screwed up and it's not your job to fix them.

In either case, I'll support you no matter what.

 

[Msbear]

NO to the marines.. sorry to any marines out there

They are definitely hard working and deserve all of our respect but, unless respect is what you're after, go Air force or national guard... same benefits, same college, better jobs, easier time of it, better bases.... better everything. ... OH! and a whole lot less work!

I have a good friend in the corps and she loved it at the time but, has now realized how many more opportunities would have been available had she made a different choice.

Sorry, if you are dead set on being a jarhead ... To each their own. I don't mean to boo hoo a decision you have pondered and worked hard to arrive at and I've probably butted in where I shouldn't have but... I almost joined the marines and didn't. At 34, I now realize I made the right decision with that but should've went Air force... I'd be looking at retirement soon... but, wouldn't have these two beautiful babies with the love of my life... so, really, it all works out in the end.

Good Luck! whatever way you go

 

[manderzpants]

your sister hates herself and abuses herself, so she is going to treat other people that way too. "you cant love someone else until you love yourself" and all that. she is probably also angry at you for leaving/"getting out" and is probably trying to erode your self confidence so you will stay. it might be because she is afraid to be without you. people often say abusive things to try to get ppl to latch onto them, or for them to sink their claw in. perhaps she leans on you more than you realize. anorexia usually stems from the person feeling like they are never good enough and they must punish themselves to be worthy. please try to tune out what she says and stick to your guns. have your mom sign your paperwork and leave. this is YOUR life, so make it what you want! <3 good luck soldier!!! **==

 

[SillyChicken]

Honey if you're going into the military, you need to grow a thicker skin! Take your own path. Your sister will need to take hers.

If you do join, Best of luck to you and thank you for your service!

 

[Goat_Walker]

You guys! I DO have thick skin! Thats why Im asking for a pick me up! Because the only people that can slam a dagger into my back and actually draw blood are My mom, sister and dad. I could care less what anyone else calls me, I just let it roll off my back. But its harder to do when its the people you have known for your entire life and they are the ones you need the most and they DONT support you in ANYTHING you do. I could walk into a mall right now and have everyone in it yell at me and call me bad names - Yeah, id be offended - but who wouldnt? As long as they didnt hit/touch me id be the person to smile, wave, and keep walking!

Like I said before - I may hate it while its happening - But I wont be satisfied at the end of the day unless I gave my best and had the tar kicked out of me. Im Looking forward to the drill instructors yelling in my face about how I have to earn my place. Im looking forward to being pushed and shoved physically, emotionally, and mentally by them and my peers because I KNOW it will make me the best I can be. Ill stand up for what I believe is right - But I know that there is a place to stand, and then there is a place where it doesnt matter what I think, and I just have to sit there and scream my injustified feelings to myself in my head, and then let it go, because it wont make a difference to most people.

But I guess my skin isnt thick enough. ANd even though Ive JUST decided. and have over a year till I go to Recruit training, that I might as well grow thicker skin and become a stranger in my own home. I might as well smother all my little furies at having my home, my one place of sanctuary turn into its own personal battle ground day in and day out because some people in my sanctuary just want to see me crumble for the fun of it.

This morning was my only morning to sleep in a little for the past two weeks. No matter what my body automatically wakes up at 8, that is if it doesnt wake me up at 5:30. Whether i need more sleep or not. I wake up to my dad shaking me and telling me to go do the d**n dishes at 6 am. While I get up ( mad but compliant ) to do said dishes - He goes back and sits in his recliner to watch more TV. While getting out of bed to use the bathroom I can already hear my sister ( who had to get up because a friend was being dropped off ) Yell at my dad about how she cant believe he woke me up , how she doesnt want to deal with my drama and how she hates me

So Ive been a good little girl today and smiled , but otherwise avoided my sister and dad . I wouldnt want to "inconvenience" them by breathing the same air , ya know?

 

[Goat_Walker]

Quote:

And I know that that sounds cliche - but that is basically how it is around here.



And as far as goin into the military to Escape my Family -

It honestly never crossed my mind. My Family is my Family - They may make me loathe them at times - but they are stil my family and I will always be there to have their backs. I honestly never thought of going in to "escape" my family, lol. Im doing this for ME. BEcause this is my life and thats what I want to do with it. I want to be part of something bigger than myself and I want to do something that will help people - even if some dont appriciate it.

 

[SAORSA]

Hello Kate. First let me say I am very proud of you. I come from a long line of military people and I am sending you this hug strait from my heart

One thing I have to say, and this comes from my Father, (24 years in the Army - detailed to the Air Force for a portion of that - passed away in 97),

JOIN THE AIR FORCE !!!!!!!
and by that I mean,
JOIN THE AIR FORCE !!!!!!!

OK that's out of the way.

I know you will find this hard to believe now but your sister is reacting in the only way she knows how to at her age. She really loves you and is panicking.
Not only are you leaving but she will not have any access to you and ... anything could happen to you.
She is reacting exactly the way a frightened child reacts because she has no control over what happens in her life. She is scared, angry at you for not staying with her, and she is lashing out at you because in her eyes,
"you don't care about her so she is not going to care about you" She is trying to hurt you because you are hurting her. I can't say how you can make it better between the two of you as your relationship with her is unique to you.
One thing I will say is, you are going to have to be the one to sit down with her and tell her how you feel about her, just like you told all of us. Be prepared for an angry lashing from her and try to work through it with her before you leave.
You may not get another chance.

As for your Dad, everyone deals with life differently. Your Dad has his unique way of dealing with his life. If he needs to preen, strut and brag, it probably stems from a feeling of inferiority. You will get allot farther with him if you give him what he NEEDS.
You will find in life that when you give people what THEY need, you can much more easily get what YOU need from them, in this case, the signature.

Here's a hint ... Dads NEED to protect and support their little girls. They NEED to think that their little girls look up to them and see them as their big, strong, smartest Daddy in the whole world.
And by the way, they have no clue that this is what they need and want or how to get it from you. So, that explains all of his behavior doesn't it ?

Really, I am not kidding.

 

[Goat_Walker]

Quote:

Thank you !

We are an Air Force Family , Living in an Air force town ( two bases right next to each other ) . My family has ALWAYS been airforce. My dad, grandpa ( who was in the army for four years and transfered to air force ), Great grandpa, and so on. But - Even though the perks are nicer for Airforce, and it is more Educational based than physical - I feel like im being called to the Marines. If I dont go in, Ill always be "what if?" . DOes that make sense?

As far as my sister..... I understand what you are saying - but I honestly doubt that is it. Ill try sitting down with her, but I already know its going to be UGLY. On her part, that is. She has had this little "Im the center of the world, worship me, comment my body because i hate myself, poser, wanna be " attitude for a LONG TIME. Like if we werent sisters, She would probably be one of the people I avoid at school because she would P me off.


Just another little insight, that I guess I should add.





Ever since I can remember - My dad has always pitted my sister and I against each other. He has encouraged us to fight with pillows wrapped around us int eh living room - but then when she hits me out in the field and I wrestle her into a head lock - simply disarming her, not choking or hurting her - I always was the one to get yelled at/ punished. He always pitted us against each other, whether it be contests or fighting or simple stupid stuff. So I know when I talk to my sister ill have to work around this. Because she has been built up TOO high. And were as I know how to deal with this stuff now, she is still too immature to understand. I cant even remember all the times ive taken a beating saving her from it. But now, Im the one who wants to knock some sense into her. She is so bad, she makes my mom cry. I HATE seeing my mom cry. My sister is the most disrespectful little brat . But she is my sister

 

[Msbear]

You can always transfer to the force after the first 4 years so, get that out of your system.. if you must