BYC Family, I need a Pick - Me- Up :(

[Goat_Walker]

Well As ive posted before - I plan on going into the military.

Since the day I finally decided ive been exploring branches and exploring my family's limits as well.

Ive done alot of thinking, alot of talking, and alot of research. And Ive come to the conclusion I want to be a Marine. Now, Ive been working out, talking with a recruiter, and feel REALLY good about my decision.

But here is where I need my pick me up .

Since I first brought it up - I told my dad he is not allowed to visit the recruiters with me. My dad is the kind of guy who thinks he knows EVERYTHING. He gets all cocky and arrogant when talking to people. For example - I spent two and a half hours in the Marine recruiters office. Right near the end my dad walks in. While the Sgt. and I wrap things up I can hear him preening like a duck right out of the pond about this and that. I was SO embarrassed. He made me just SO MAD that he showed up and then started trying to correct the recruiters as well as "show off" .

But - I understand why he does it. Doesnt mean that just the sound of his voice doesnt set me off - because it does.

So - With all that in the front, I still have to have "the talk" with him about joining the Marines. My mom and I feel like he should be the one to sign my papers, but if he doesnt shape up then im going to ask my mom to. ( If things work out the way we want them to then id need to sign in January - which is before im 18 ) . So im really worried about him blowing up in my face about it ( like he does with everything else ) and me not being able to control my own temper.


Second part of my Pick Me up -


Since stating my want to join the Marines Ive had to deal with my younger, nearly anorexic sister telling me how SHE has always wanted to join.

1. She does not have the mental toughness for the military. She is very easy to manipulate and is easily affected by what other people say, especially about her body.
2. She has NEVER shown an interest before I made my decision to turn my life to protecting my country.


I just ignore her. But she has a new favorite game. Its called "Kill Kate from the inside out. " Ive never had a good relationship with my dad or sister - But i would do anything for them . I would protect my little sister with everything in me before I EVER let anyone hurt her. I would sacrifice my Life before I let someone take advantage of or harm my little sister.

But she doesnt see that. Here are a few of the things I hear almost everyday.

1." I cant wait till you move out of the house."
2. " I hope you die in Recruit training so i never have to see you again"
3. " I cant wait till you leave so we can get rid of your stupid ducks so I can finally get a dog" - ( Note - Ive always had to take care of ALL of her pets because she forgets to take care of them or refuses to, and for those of yall who know me, know I love my ducks and they are a HUGE part of my life.
4. " God, why are you so Ugly? The Marines are going to see you and kick you out just because of how ugly you are"


There are more, but most are too rude and hurtful to be written on this board. I have to deal with these two people on a daily basis since my dad doesnt have a job yet and my sister is out of school, just like me.

So I guess I could just use some encouragement. I know this is just a "phase" with my sister, and I know that my dad is just older and cares about my well being but it still hurts.


I was thinking today... and whats sad is the only real things i can remember from my childhood is my dad screaming in my face and spanking me till I couldnt stand and my sister siding with my friends who all turned on me. I cant remember much of my mom tucking me in, or hanging out with friends in the woods, or my mom reading me bed time stories. All I can remember are the bad things from elementary school .

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

 

[crtrlovr]

sweetie, why can't your mom be the one to sign the papers for you? It doesn't have to be both, just one, right? Why go through all the cockiness and stress your dad dishes out? Ignore your little sister's meanness -- hopefully some day she will wise up and beg your forgiveness for all the cr*p she dishes your way now. If not, then still don't worry about it. Just take pride in being the better person. Bide your time, do whatever you can to keep yourself safe without letting someone else become a target, and join the military if that's what you really want to do. As for your sister's saying she wants to join, no big deal. It does not diminish YOU in any way, especially given that she may very well washout right away if she is as you describe.

 

[theoldchick]

Sounds like you have made the difficult decision to escape your family. Don't worry the Marines will become your family and help you find the structure you need to become the adult you want to be. Ignore your sister. She will change her mind as she ages. Your parents may say hurtful things but remember they are humans with a serious set of problems. I'm sure they are terrified you may die, and the worst thing that can happen to a parent is to lose a child.

You are not responsible for other people's behavior. You are responsible for your behavior and behave with honesty and respect. Human emotions are difficult to deal with. Do what you have to do and be the best you can be!

Good luck and bless you for wanting to protect our country.

 

[crtrlovr]

Quote:
You mentioned your concern about your dad blowing up in your face about your decision to join the Marines and the possibility of your not being able to control your temper. Just a word of caution: if you can't control your temper when your dad gets in your face (regardless of how unreasonable or unfair he may be), how do you think you'll control your temper when a DI / TI gets in your face? Authority figures don't always DESERVE respect because of the way they act, but by virtue of the position, fair or not. This would be a very good exercise and gauge for you yourself to determine whether or not you really are mature enough to enter a branch of the Armed Forces. If you can maintain your composure and state your case to your dad and deal with his reaction without becoming emotionally overwrought yourself, then you've got a great head start on Basic Training.

 

[PineappleMama]

It's a little EERIE how similar your sister and mine are... if you remove the specifics about military those comments are the same as I heard... eventually she got over that, mainly because I just didn't talk to her so if she wanted to be near me she had to at least pretend to be a decent (okay settle for decent mannered) person... still a user, manipulator, and is a loser at picking guys who just use her... hopefully yours will wise up before she gets into the trouble mine did... but there's not doodly you can do about it, she has to WANT to be a decent person and you can't force that. Just try and steer clear until you can get away... then maybe she'll realize what she had... but even then there's no guarantee.

Your dad sounds rather like my Ex-Step... jerk. If you're worried about the paperwork thing, talk to the recruiter and ask them to develop a plan B. So that IF Dad goes jerko you have another plan that still gets you where you want to be. May mean you'll have to wait until the next January, maybe get a job/place between turning 18 and shipping out... but at least you'll still be on the path you choose.

If you're planning to be a Marine you're clearly already a strong person who can stand on their own two feet. Never forget that strength. On the worst days I think of my Gran, my Mems and my Ol' Granny (Grandmother & Great Gran on mom's side and Great Gran on Dad's side) and remember all they've survived in their lives... the Depression, abuse, widowhood... and they're still going strong and feisty as ever... and they passed that blood on to me. They're there when I need a little reminder of the strong stock I come from.

And... remember even if your family is NUTS (oh wait that's mine) there are other folks standing behind you.

 

[Freebie]

What theoldchick said. I could not have said it better myself. Just save yourself the hassle and let you Mom sign the papers. It will be done and over and nothing more to be said about it. It is a big scary life out there, but don't let that stop you. You will meet your best friends at this time in your life, and you can bet in the Marines, they will be most likely be wonderful, good people, just like you. you already have something in common with them....your desire to be a Marine. Have at it and make the most of your life. It is worth living AND being happy!!!

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

I'm not certain if both parents signatures are required....but both my husband and I had to sign my daughters when she enlisted at 17...and he is her stepdad!! They knew that but still asked him to sign. Again, I'm not sure if it was required or just requested.

If you have truly made up your mind to enlist, nothing will stop you. What you are hearing from your sister pales in comparison to what you will hear from your drill sergeants. Start toughening up your skin right now. The difference is that the drill sergeant is on YOUR SIDE. They want you to succeed, but part of that is tearing you down and building you back up.

My daughter said the only time she almost started crying was the day they were fitted for their Class A's and forming their berets. She got her beret on and fixed correctly and her drill sergeant said "Now you look like what you are....a real soldier."

Be positive, get in shape NOW and toughen up. Boot camp will be tough but you can do it...you just have to believe in yourself.

 

[chick4chicks]

for the way your sister and dad treat you. Thank you for wanting to protect our country. Stand tall and Proud and be the best you can be. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[Goat_Walker]

Freebie and TheOldCHick -

My dad is the military guy in our home. And we feel that that might just be something that he has to do ( sign my papers ) since im not letting him in on anything else that involves me and the military. Mom already said she would sign my papers - But we feel like for my dad to show that he does in fact support me that HE will need to sign the papers. Not only for me - but for HIM. If I dont let him in on getting ready for the military , and then in the end not let him sign me over to my personal military life - that my relationship with him willl NEVER be the same. Him signing my papers will show that I have his support, but it will also put our military based arguments to peace in the end. DOes that make sense?

crtrlvr -

I know this sounds weird - but I am actually a VERY respectful person and have no trouble holding my temper and being respectful with any other human being - But my dad. All I remember form my childhood is him yelling in my face and other things along those lines. Freshman year in highschool, he and I got into a physical fight and a fire arm got involved. My dad is the ONLY person who can make me so mad im sputtering and cant even complete a sentence.