Can I punish DH for something he did 12 years ago?

[michickenwrangler]

I would let it go, but let him know if there's anything else he needs to tell you, NOW is the time.

I just found out last Saturday that my deceased DH's hairdresser was a drop-dead gorgeous 22 yr old blonde. I don't think he was cheating on me or truly in love with her, but still ...

 

[cassie]

Can you punish him for something that happened 12 years ago? Sure you can. But why on earth would you want to? What can you possibly gain by being in a snit over something that happened TWELVE YEARS AGO!! Exactly what is it you expect him do do about it at this late date anyway? Go out and shoot his former fling to demonstrate his love for you? Get over it already.

 

[Ms.Frizzle]

Chickens. You can gain lots, and lots of chickens.

jk, i'd be a little upset/jealous, but like a lot of the ppl are saying, just talk it over with him, and move on.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

What happened 12 years ago is not what matters. It's who he is, whom he is married to, and what he does now. So he dated her 12 years ago? I personally don't care who my husband was with 12 years ago. What matters is who he is with now.

 

[Britney]

Ms.Frizzle has the correct plan. We are all wrong. LOL Make him feel guilty and then get chickens more chickens.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
2x

 

[ChooksChick]

Shoot...my hubby never asked for full disclosure and I doubt he'd want it, anyway...but we've been married 16 years and I'm positive nothing in my past is a threat to his happiness.

So: from the other angle, I can say that there's stuff mine doesn't know, and he could theoretically bump into or even work with someone I dated...but it doesn't matter a bit- the man is my everything and nothing I did in the past has any bearing on how much he should trust me now. Likewise, you either trust your hubby or you don't.

Personally, we'd be laughing about it if it was our situation, because I married my best friend. Nothing threatens that.

 

[Duramaxgirl]

Quote:

yeah this is a good plan of action!

 

[Dunkopf]

Sorry, no grounds for complaint. You were broke up for 4 months. You gotta get it in writing if you want to worry about it in the future. Even if you broke up now. Did the ole "Let's spend some time apart" routine. It's open season unless there is a specific agreement against it.

If you're really bothered by it you should speak to your pastor or something. They are actually qualified to make an opinion usually. At least Priest are qualified on paper. I always assumed that other ministers had psychiatric and counseling training. It's supposed to be one of the bennies that come with tything.

 

[gritsar]

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Agreed!