Can I punish DH for something he did 12 years ago?

[Carols Clucks]

If I were you; I would ask myself if him seeing some one when you were not together is worth damaging your marriage for, if spouses should punish each other and if the roles were reversed, how would you feel.

I think you already know the answer.

The best thing you can do is have a good laugh and forget about it.

After all, he is with you not her and is that not what is really important?

 

[mississippifarmboy]

Jeez, I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. Sure glad my wife doesn't punish me for something I did 12 years ago.

Especially if we weren't together at the time.



JMHO but guys shouldn't be in trouble for anything that happend over 30 days ago, because we probably don't even remember it after that long anyways.

I agree with everyone else. If you are happy now, he married YOU, why let something that happened over a decade ago come between you now?

 

[keesmom]

Carols Clucks, WHAT is that comb???

To the OP - GET OVER IT. There are enough valid things to get upset about right now- gas prices, food prices, poultry feed prices - to spend time fixated on something that happened when you were not together 12 YEARS ago. If he had cheated on you that's a different story but this was something he did when you were split up. How was he to know at the time that you would end up back together?

 

[twentynine]

Yep!

Really! Unbelieveable!

Your husband came clean as soon as the question came up. Brought you up to speed. Why are you mad at him? He didn't kiss and tell. You guys were broke up. You are really mad with the other woman but can't get to her, so husband is a good stand in target of your wrath.


A grudge over something that happened over 12 years ago, yes that's reasonable!

By the way, looking at the title of the thread. What exactly did your husband do wrong 12 years ago? You go a head and punish him. The very idea that you have a right or the ability to "punish" your husband, is and of itself very much misguided.

A much better idea is to be thankful he/you/picked each other. But don't let that get in the way of getting even.

 

[thekid]

Now 25 years ago my dad used to lets just say use a illegal drug and now he doesnt. Well last summer my dad found a bag of his old illegal stuff so he paniced and hid it. My mom found it on Christmas and she got mad for something he did 25 YEARS AGO! I MEAN COME ON. And the week before that my dad was in New York for work so she though he got it there from the mountain he worked on.

 

[redhen]

LOL..full disclosure...
My hubby didnt have all night to hear mine... so we just it be.

 

[Carols Clucks]

Quote:
That is my good buddy roosty roo the elderly EE!

He is at least 10 and looks forward to seeing me-even if I do pick him up in front of the ladies every now and then (he knows I like to feed him a handful of scratch-he will share with the ladies but not step aside for them!)

 

[Spookwriter]

Be reasonable...something that happened 12 years ago, you
weren't together, and it didn't matter enough to your husband
to warrent it important enough to tell you about it?

Don't even give it another thought. Waste of time.

Focus on today, the here and now.

**I'll be honest with you...I don't tolerate my wife being mad
over something foolish. I don't waste mich time on petty issues.

 

[sheila3935]

Now if he was there with you and the girl and was drooling all over her then you could be angry but for something that happened when you two were not even together get past it. My husband and I didnt want to know anything besides what we knew already. What happens in the past is suppose to stay in the past. My husband is a DJ he has women coming on to him all the time at work, but I know he loves me and I trust him. If I was the jealous type I'd drive myself crazy. All you are going to do by being upset about this is drive a wedge between you two and you dont want that to happen.

 

[breezy]

Punish your husband? Hes not your child. I dont believe spouses should punish each other. That implies a parent/ child type relationship to me. Your husband is your friend, your lover, your partner, your helper and your support system. If it bothers you treat him like a friend and a partner and TALK to him gently and with respect so that he will treat your feelings gently and with respect then be done with it. It makes no sense to accuse, blame,resent or punish for something long gone ,done and over with.
Just my .02 cents.