Can you get over your first true love?

[goobhen]

Yes, you can get over your first love! Been there, done that..... not easy at all. I was divorced from first love for 18 years before I married my husband now. HE is my true love, the lasting kind. He is my rock, he treats me the best. I have been married for almost 6 years. I wish the best for you...... God bless, Theresa

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

What matters is how you define LOVE.

You don't know this man any more. Honestly you know that you don't. He's not who he was 18 years ago when you loved him. Any more than you are who you were 18 years ago when you made those decisions.

I love lots of people. And I love them for lots of reasons. Its love and it counts, but its not romantic love, nor is it the kind of mature nurturing love you build a life out of.

I remember when this guy came back into your life. Yep I was here back then. If I remember this really messed up your life for a while.

You don't get over it. You learn to accept what it is. You love a guy who doesn't really exist any more. You love him with the part of your heart that belongs to the girl you once were. She doesn't really exist any more either except in your heart and your memories.

Live now. Smile at what once was and the wonderful daughter you got from that. Hug your husband. Get on with today.

 

[goobhen]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

What matters is how you define LOVE.

You don't know this man any more. Honestly you know that you don't. He's not who he was 18 years ago when you loved him. Any more than you are who you were 18 years ago when you made those decisions.

I love lots of people. And I love them for lots of reasons. Its love and it counts, but its not romantic love, nor is it the kind of mature nurturing love you build a life out of.

I remember when this guy came back into your life. Yep I was here back then. If I remember this really messed up your life for a while.

You don't get over it. You learn to accept what it is. You love a guy who doesn't really exist any more. You love him with the part of your heart that belongs to the girl you once were. She doesn't really exist any more either except in your heart and your memories.

Live now. Smile at what once was and the wonderful daughter you got from that. Hug your husband. Get on with today.

What a beautiful way to say this!​

 

[pengimama]

My first love was my first husband. We divorced when he cheated on me, I remarried but never got over my first husband. I had his sister on my social networking page and when she would post a picture my heart would flutter and break at the same time. When I divorced my second husband, I pathetically attempted to move back to that state in hopes I could find him again. Well... I met Will before I did thank goodness. After I met Will and we started to fall in love, I realized one thing. That first love... I didn't know what love was. He didn't treat me like Will treats me, he didn't look at me like Will looks at me, and I didn't ache every night he was away like I do Will. After 12 years, the gifts and letters from my first husband went into the garbage... and 2 years later... there are no regrets. Some people say love is a decision... that may be true. All I know is that I have an amazing relationship with an amazing man and this love is different, real, and wonderful.

Point is... it passes and when it does something wonderful can happen

 

[HeatherLynn]

Are you IN LOVE with him. I personally think its normal to still love him. I just don't understand loving someone with their whole heart and soul and then all of a sudden there is just no more love. There are special people in my past that I have no contact with now but I still love them dearly. I am in love with my husband and I love him more than anyone else is the world. That does not mean that someone who was a big part of my past can not hold a small part of my heart. They just are not the center of it and I am not IN LOVE with them anymore.

He is also the father of your daughter and that gives him a special part in your heart. I think you need to separate your feelings for him from what you feel for your husband. Can you just love him as a person with a special part of your past and as the father of your daughter?

 

[lowry075]

Quote:
What a beautiful way to say this!

x 2

 

[key west chick]

Its nice to know Im not the only one who may be going through weird stuff.

Yes, when DD got in touch with him a few years back, it was hard for me to not let old feelings get in the way of their relationship. That has since fizzled and they havent spoken or seen each other in months. And yes, I know neither one of us are the same person we used to be. We had so much fun together and it was a wild and crazy time for both of us. Hubby and I have a deep, soul fulfilling love. Weve had our share of problems, including almost divorce. But worked through it. I have always accepted the fact I will have feelings for old BF, and just moved on. Is it love? Idk. I always felt like it was. You know, the heart pounding when you see him or hear his voice. The butterflies in your tummy. The new tears you cried when you heard a song that the 2 of you shared so long ago... I think I will give hubby an extra hug tonight when we go to bed.

 

[FireTigeris]

I need to find that story, its the difference between love and lust or love and infatuation (depending on age or other factors I guess).

(BRB)

http://www.knowledgebase-script.com/demo/article-439.html (almost religious)

(that's not the one I was looking for the one I'm looking for is a story, kinda a 'chhose your own adventure' type on the internet, you hit the buttons and for these two couples and find out what's love and what's infatuation.)

(still looking)

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Sorry, the therapist told you to ignore your feelings? If so...yeeah, that sucks. Do the opposite. Explore those feelings until you fully understand them and can put them in a realistic context, one free of misleading fantasy. Start by defining love, what it means to you. To me, it means being in a relationship where I am loved back and respected, one in which I respect and love the person back. Otherwise, it is just pining/infatuation to me personally if I do not see a give and take happening. How realistic are you being in your memory of what you felt, in thinking of how a relationship would be now with this person, how compatible you really are etc. Oftentimes, the fantasy doesn't meet up with reality. I'd start with that, and then go from there.

 

[Buugette]

Quote:
My very same story. Most of us have someone somewhere in our past who will forever hold a special place in our hearts. It's okay... but you can't dwell in the past. Everything happens for a reason. You have to believe you are where you are meant to be.

We are made to love... we can love more than one person in a lifetime.