Can you get over your first true love?

[FireTigeris]

As far as a therapist goes, if they do not listen to you get a new one-

If they do not value your opinions, even wrong ones, get a new one-

If they treat you like a patient, not a person, get a new one-

If you wouldn't be comfortable telling you deepest darkest secret to them, get a new one-

If the first answer is medication, or the answer will never be medication, get a new one-

My mom had her equivalency degree in psyc - she thought the human mind was amazing, she taught "Special Ed/Resource" for 30 years.

She had a quiz for the doctors that she would recommend to the parents that needed an outside Dr. for their IEP.

That's what I remember from it.

 

[Beekissed]

I don't know about first true loves....I can barely remember that guy as it was so long ago. But as for loving someone that you can never be with, nor would really want to be with....yes. I do. And, no, I don't think that feeling will ever go away.

And I don't really want it to! Love is strange and there are all kinds of love....the love that I feel for my "one true love" is eternal and will never really go away, I'm sure of that. But that's okay too....one can love from a distance, be glad that this person is alive and walking the Earth, light up inside when you think of him, hope he is well and happy...and still be content to not BE with him physically/emotionally.

It doesn't hurt to know we will never be together as I am content to have known him, loved him, and experienced who he is during my time on this spinning ball. Just imagine if we had never met? Then I would have never known that there was that one man whose voice brings my lips into an instant smile!

 

[Godsgrl]

Quote:
X2. I married my true love as well, 21 years ago.

 

[key west chick]

Thanks guys. I feel more peaceful now. I was wondering if what I was feeling was wrong in some way. Maybe one day, if both of our spouses have moved on for what ever reason, we may find each other again. Until then, I will love my hubby like I have for nearly 18 years, and be thankful for the love WE share.

 

[Buugette]

Quote:
Wow... that was so amazing. You said that very well.

 

[debilorrah]

Lisa. In a word? No. Some people don't have that connection that others do. I was head over heels in love with a guy a never had a chance to date, and to this day, if anything ever happened to Ken, I would seek him out. I will never in my life forget that last hug I got from him. And his name is soooo common there is no chance I could ever find him.

Good thing too, because I am VERY happy with Ken.

 

[SillyChicken]

Forget my first love........gee I don't know, cause first I'd like to see him infested with the fleas of a thousand camels..... coated in honey and tossed into a huge fire ants nest, with a hungry grizzley bear and then boiled in a vat of pig dung, then hung out to dry... in death valley......forget about him? Yeah it's probably best if I do!

 

[chubbydog811]

Quote:

erm...cough...Sorry, but that was hilarious!!! I do care for my "first love" in a friend's sort of way, BUT I'm right there with Sillychicken, I would rather resort to unreasonable violation than go back to him (giggles) I was in a state of mind right after we broke up that I kind of sugar coated everything about the relationship to try to make it look not so bad...But then my best friend whacked some sense in me reminding me how much of a donkey he was

As others have stated, things happen for a reason. This spring when I was all set with not being in a relationship with anyone, I accidentally ran into my current boyfriend. I couldn't ask for a better guy, and I have had no thoughts whatsoever of turning back.

 

[kareninthesun]

In my youth I didn't really understand the definition of real love. It was more of exploring and picking out the best traits while influenced by peers, media, and my own ideas of love. While it isn't fair to judge character then to now, hindsight proves a thankful heart and appreciation of wisdom, even disguised. Something inside, deep, unable to really name, knew that this wasn't workable. That dreams alone weren't enough if we weren't on the same wave length, equally yoked.

I had to be honest and look at the truth, whom stuck it out through the rough, was supportive, put us as high priority, had backbone enough to demand family members to play nice or leave, sticks it out with grace even when he doesn't understand what I'm doing, holds my hair back when I'm barfing, isn't afraid to clean out the frig, knows how a washer, drier and stove works.

Anyone can be taught to be a good lover, but character is by choice. Anyone can be taught to make another laugh, but deeper joy is knowing at the end of the day you choose to do this thing together. With maturity comes the desire to remove the rose colored glasses and honor the real view, touchable, funny, exasperating, honest, whom dared to ask me to commit a lifetime with him. The first time wasn't really love, but a learning process of hunting for what I thought I wanted. It was basing everything off of emotion, peer presure, and selfishness with us vying each other to be the center of attention.

Yes, you can get over that experience by looking at it honestly, gently, and giving heart enough room to put the truth of whom deserves this place of honor. If it isn't whom you are with now, then you need to be honest with yourself. Although you can't be with the other guy, you are shortchanging emotionally your husband and your relationship by hiding behind words saying you can't help it. What if it were reversed and your husband feeling this way?

 

[cassie]

Get over? Yes. Forget? No.