Can't do this much more

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Since she likes going to the doctor so much, suggest she ask them to prescribe physical therapy to help her with her muscle weakness. The first thing a physical therapist will do is evaluate her, and then determine what needs to be done to correct that as best possible. It sounds like the more medical personnel who look at her and her meds the better; while one or two may be willing to over-prescribe, hopefully someone will step in and say "ENOUGH!" and it will probably all be behind the scenes. Did mil take the lack of morphine up with the hospital commander or the base commander? Move up the chain in expressing concern that she is being over-prescribed, and don't be shy about letting them know that until you feel that she has been completely evaluated you will keep pressing the issue to see that she gets proper medical care. Don't say "she shouldn't be on all this medicine," say that you are concerned that the meds she is on are not taking care of her problems, and are causing additional issues. Mention that you are concerned about addiction.

Install a nanny cam in her room to record her behavior. Since she says that her room is too large to maintain, move her to a smaller room (that already has the camera installed--since it is your house, I think that legal issues could be argued in your favour--after all, the purpose of audio and video is to 1) protect YOU from the abuse allegations that have already been made and 2) to provide proof that her behavior does not match what she tells her doctors and children; maybe it will get her the help that she NEEDS.

Definitely call the link that was posted earlier for help with the elderly. Even though she is not what most consider elderly, the behavior she exhibits matches many of the concerns and needs of elderly people.

Tell her that if she lets the dogs out again, you will take them to the pound. Alternatively, you could ban them from the house entirely (however, I am guessing that they would be terror on the chickens and any other animals you have).

Don't let fil off the hook. He is not responsible for her behavior, but he IS responsible for condoning it and not putting his foot down. Saying "it's just common sense" is not enough. He needs to

1) take away her keys
2) notify the state that her driving ability is impaired and her license should be revoked
3) manage his income
4) pay rent & expenses for living with y'all (whether you simply save the money to give back at some later date or use it to defray your costs is up to you)
5) support you emotionally and verbally
3)

 

[ladyride]

Quote:
Since she likes going to the doctor so much, suggest she ask them to prescribe physical therapy to help her with her muscle weakness. The first thing a physical therapist will do is evaluate her, and then determine what needs to be done to correct that as best possible. It sounds like the more medical personnel who look at her and her meds the better; while one or two may be willing to over-prescribe, hopefully someone will step in and say "ENOUGH!" and it will probably all be behind the scenes. Did mil take the lack of morphine up with the hospital commander or the base commander? Move up the chain in expressing concern that she is being over-prescribed, and don't be shy about letting them know that until you feel that she has been completely evaluated you will keep pressing the issue to see that she gets proper medical care. Don't say "she shouldn't be on all this medicine," say that you are concerned that the meds she is on are not taking care of her problems, and are causing additional issues. Mention that you are concerned about addiction.

Install a nanny cam in her room to record her behavior. Since she says that her room is too large to maintain, move her to a smaller room (that already has the camera installed--since it is your house, I think that legal issues could be argued in your favour--after all, the purpose of audio and video is to 1) protect YOU from the abuse allegations that have already been made and 2) to provide proof that her behavior does not match what she tells her doctors and children; maybe it will get her the help that she NEEDS.

Definitely call the link that was posted earlier for help with the elderly. Even though she is not what most consider elderly, the behavior she exhibits matches many of the concerns and needs of elderly people.

Tell her that if she lets the dogs out again, you will take them to the pound. Alternatively, you could ban them from the house entirely (however, I am guessing that they would be terror on the chickens and any other animals you have).

Don't let fil off the hook. He is not responsible for her behavior, but he IS responsible for condoning it and not putting his foot down. Saying "it's just common sense" is not enough. He needs to

1) take away her keys
2) notify the state that her driving ability is impaired and her license should be revoked
3) manage his income
4) pay rent & expenses for living with y'all (whether you simply save the money to give back at some later date or use it to defray your costs is up to you)
5) support you emotionally and verbally
3)

x2 with the nanny cam this gives insight to her providers & therapist as well & expressing concerns with her medical providers above all document , document the more you have the less leg she really haves to stand on. Being in the medical field nothing speaks volumes as documentation.

 

[ranchhand]

Kitt, way to cowgirl up, I'm proud you found the backbone to stand up and lay down the law. (now that's mixing metaphor's!)

DO listen to Sonoran Silkies- she has a ton of common sense, experience and training.

 

[redhen]

Also, if shes driving under all those pills..you can/should call her in to the police. Tell them that you KNOW shes under the influence of these meds and NOT supposed to drive while taking them, and that you saw her( lie , if need be) swerving while driving...
You need to call WHILE shes on the road though, so they can pull her over while driving....you can do it and she wont even know its you that called.

 

[Kitt]

Quote:
If my DH can ride a cheeseburger (bull riding), I should be able to do this.

 

[Gmsg01]

Yeah- but the bull ride is only 8 seconds......

Anyway you could get APS to review her Meds, to be certain there is not more of a problem there? Push comes to shove, can you have her legally evicted from your property?

 

[Kitt]

Quote:
You have a point there.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
If my DH can ride a cheeseburger (bull riding), I should be able to do this.

 

[ChooksChick]

I absolutely agree about videoing her. Here's the thing: The doctors can't talk to you about her, but they can listen to you about her. If you video her being belligerent, intoxicated due to overuse of drugs, driving under the influence, etc., any evidence given to them (sent registered mail, of course) should make the prescribing doctor re-evaluate the dosages and amounts. If not, then the doctor should be turned in for knowingly, with evidence thereof, prescribing more than necessary for therapeutic needs.

Further, she should have her keys taken. Take them yourself. It's protecting the public from a menace. Who does she have to kill or maim before someone stops her? You don't have to admit it...she might have lost them!

Tell her if she keeps up the crud with the dogs, you'll rehome them to the pound. It's your right in your home. If they aren't paying rent, you can rehome the in-laws, for crying out loud. Like you said: your house, your rules. Hold fast and tight to what you know is right.

 

[cuntryuppiechick]

We had a similar situation with the ex's druncle driving. Every time he got in the car someone would immediately call it in to the police. They finally did cite him twice. This is with family members who are also police and they couldn't get a lot of action so it does take perseverance. If possible, have a trusted friend or neighbor call it in so it isn't just an internal domestic issue. Be sure to mention if she's headed into a school zone! I agree, lay down the law and stick to your guns! That's the hard part, not giving in and letting them continue on the old patterns.

Personally we tend to remove ourselves from those parts, the bad parts, of family as much as possible. We did wuss out and let a grown kid come home but only for about a month. She tried the woe is me my husband beat me routine but then didn't get herself a job so we gave her a deadline. The great part is that we are considered such jerks that she left on her own before the deadline because she knew she wasn't getting away with anything. It is my strong suspicion that she went back to him and was just trying to bilk the family for cash but I felt it was more important for myself to have a clean conscious. We made the effort and she didn't end up in the hospital or worse. I did my part and she chose not to do hers.