Can't sleep, too worried about my niece

[arabianequine]

Quote:
Nothing he has done is strictly illegal, assuming she is legal age (you did say she was previously married) so I doubt the police CAN do anything either.

It wouldn't hurt to see them off, and actually see the guy, then you'll know if the pictures are really him. Some people get a rental for long trips though, so the plates may or may not help, and you have to pay to run them online (never done it myself though) unless you have a friend at the PD.

edited to remove personal information

True but the police may act or say something if they see something once the op give the info to them? The guy may already have a history.

 

[redhen]

I think that its very important to get his license plate number.. and a pic of him.

 

[terrilhb]

I agree with taking the pictures. And getting the plate number. Find out his last name. And do a background check. Does she have a cell phone? If so just keep calling. I would be terrified of this too. My daughter did this a few years ago. Met a guy on WOW and than took off with him to another state. We never met him. Thank God she is home and safe. Will keep you and her in my prayers.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Nothing he has done is strictly illegal, assuming she is legal age (you did say she was previously married) so I doubt the police CAN do anything either.

It wouldn't hurt to see them off, and actually see the guy, then you'll know if the pictures are really him. Some people get a rental for long trips though, so the plates may or may not help, and you have to pay to run them online (never done it myself though) unless you have a friend at the PD.

edited to remove personal information

True but the police may act or say something if they see something once the op give the info to them? The guy may already have a history.

They also have a lot of criminal activity information that is not available to the general public. They can also provide the best advice to you and to her about how to stay as safe as possible. The fubnction of the police is not just to investigate crimes that have been committed, but to PREVENT crime.

Some of the things that raise red flags for me is that he showed up from nowhere on her facebook page.
He is/has sent money for her to get a divorce (meaning that she IS married, not just has been married).
He bought a supposedly hugely expensive ring for her without ever meeting her face to face.
He plans to take her back home with him the first time he meets her face to face (why doesn't he visit her a few times, to get to actually know her first? Meet her friends and family?)

At best, this is an abusive situation waiting to happen.

 

[Tala]

Quote:
True but the police may act or say something if they see something once the op give the info to them? The guy may already have a history.

They also have a lot of criminal activity information that is not available to the general public. They can also provide the best advice to you and to her about how to stay as safe as possible. The fubnction of the police is not just to investigate crimes that have been committed, but to PREVENT crime.

This varies GREATLY from department to department. Around here, even threats don't count, someone has to DO something before you can even get a restraining order! Our police are mostly useful for writing reports after the fact, for your insurance company to figure out the rest. Of course, your mileage may vary GREATLY. Good luck with that.

 

[ChicksterJo]

I'm going to agree with Sonoran Silkies...this could be a VERY bad situation waiting to happen.
There are just too many red flags to wait and see if this will turn out bad or good.
You may not be able to convince your niece to not meet him but at the very least
bring up some of the points that people have mentioned in this thread, and see if she will
agree with them. She could have some of those worries too and maybe she's overwhelmed
with the situation.

At any rate, make sure you do get a picture of the guy, detain them for a long while to meet and
talk with him. But the best thing to do is try your best to let your niece see that there are some inconsistencies
and 'weird' aspects to this guy. She could meet some great guys online, but this guy just seems
too suspicious, desperate, and is moving way too fast for any good, healthy relationship.
Better to be safe than sorry, especially in a situation like this.
Good luck and take care.

 

[Cetawin]

Quote:
Indeed.


I will admit I met my DH online in a cultural chat forum BUT we became friends and were best buddies for over 2 years when he proposed and I flew out to marry him. And I still had a background check done LOL He knew it, I told him I had it done and that I felt that being a single mother, I needed to know that voice was of the man I was told he was and loved. He understood. We talked and wrote constantly (unless he was deployed) and I did not know what he looked like until I stepped off the plane to marry him but that was because of his military job....he could not have his pic floating around the internet. But I knew about his family, where they were, who they were, spoke to his mother and so forth.

This guy makes me worry for your neice as well. I will pray for you and her. Keep us posted please.

 

[Cetawin]

Quote:
LOL itsy read my post above...the whole online made me more cautious and slow. In person I could tell them to get lost, sic the dog on them and shoot if necessary. hahahaha

 

[Firefighter Chick]

DEFINATELY proceed with a background check with this guy. i'm not knocking couples that have met through the internet but to one day have an online relationship and then one day get taken by his car with him? I guess i'm the old fashioned girl that prefers courtship in a slower pace?

 

[Bear Foot Farm]

Some of the things that raise red flags for me is that he showed up from nowhere on her facebook page.

It's not hard to track people online with just a little searching.

You'd be amazed how much information you can find.

Try typing your user name or real name into Google and you may find things that will surprise you

She probably gave him plenty of clues in their conversations, and if he sent her money he had to have an address or at least a city​