Chicken Owning Criticism Vent

[BobDBirdDog]

You could be over sensitive or defensive to their jesting, but in saying that I feel you!

Don't explain a dang thing to anyone! If they cant wrap their minds around or comprehend you choices and ask why, just look at them in astonishment as they lack brain function and Say "BECAUSE I CAN!"..

There is but 4 people you have to answer to in life, God, yourself, your boss and the law..... and two of them only require partial, limited and specific answers, only on occasions and/or in specific situations!

I am not one without a dry and defensive onset of humors...so I have a few thoughts

At minimum, when they ask why, aggravate, insinuate, insult, challenge, ridicule......you can always retort or respond:

• Due to all the unsolicited criticisms that I sustain from narcissist morons, this is my therapy hobby that keeps me from killing a**holes who ask dumb questions but can never comprehend or accept the response!
• Perhaps you should give it a try as to be proactive with your time rather than to badger me when I have better things to do!
• Didn't you understand it the last time I EXPLAINED it....repeating my same reason/stance is not going to help! (unless they need remedial help)~
• Get dressed and ask them to help you feed and clean the coops.
• Offer them or their children free chicks and insisting on the person taking them as a gift. Act hurt and emotionally damaged if they don't accept.
• Make dates, gift them to the person at Christmas, birthdays......so they cant say no or look bad to their children!
• Buy Store bought eggs and gift them to the person as if they are home raised eggs and have a secret laugh to their foolish responses. Never tell them otherwise. If they accept and complement you, Double the store bought gift next time, then cut them off.
• Tell them lies about getting 3 eggs a day from each hen.
• Tell them sickened truths about where their foods come from. Worms, parasites, sewage being used as fertilizer in vegetables gardens and farms, maggots in meats at slaughter houses, etc.....

Or take the direct approach and give them permission to leave or mess with their heads:

• Well, I know you have better things to do, I will get back to you when when I have time! Click or walk away!
• You can leave, NOW!
• Tell them the boss wants to see them!
• Ask them if they are going to the store and send them on an errand for something that you know they cant find. Don't offer money until the find it.
• Ask them if they dyed their hair (it..... looks....?????Different today!) hummm.
• Hint about bad breath, BO.
• Play dumb and ask them what words mean, or act as if you don't understand, and keep pressing them for more clarity. Then confuse the answers and restate it to mean otherwise.
• Reword and repeat what they just said as if it is your idea or stance.
• Every time they make a statement, Say RIGHT as if you are validating their mind set, or say I HAVE TO AGREE WITH THAT even thought you don't.

There's hundreds of things to do to help return the unwanted favors and keep your sanity.

I hope you all like my twisted mind!

 

[OC Chick]

@Louise Waffles Love the rant! Rants come when I've had it up to here and need to blow off steam (the night I started the thread). You are doing great! I love my birds too. I'm curious to see how I will be once they stop laying (for now I'm waiting for them to start laying lol 19 weeks and counting) if I will keep them as pets or if I will find a happy farm for them to live out their lives. I've named them, felt their little hearts beat, worried about them, prayed over them (yes, I have made mistakes chicken raising based off really bad advice to fix chicken problems and pray that I haven't completely traumatized my chickens - I think my flock is doing okay), loved watching them grow, was devastated when one was killed by a cat roaming the neighborhood and cried for weeks. I wanted them for the eggs but have loved having them as pets and am enjoying having them around. My dilemma is I am maxed out with space for keeping a healthy flock in humane conditions in their coop and run (with free ranging every weekday for 4 hours & all day on the weekends), so if I want replacement layers every 3 years I have to figure out what to do. Originally I was going to have them culled & processed to eat, but now I don't know if I can do that to my little flock.

@ejcrist I'm thinking all these criticizers and going to be begging me for delicious eggs once my girls start laying! And I think that's one part that especially bugs me. I'm thinking the law around here is going to be "Don't criticize if you expect to get some eggs." I have a black thumb but I really want a garden full of fresh organic fruits & veggies so I'm attempting that for the first time this year as well. If you have any good websites you recommend for info, I'd love for you to pass it along!

 

[OC Chick]

@BobDBirdDog Your responses are HILARIOUS! I definitely am over sensitive! LOL! I need to grow some thicker chicken skin for sure.

 

[ejcrist]

@Louise Waffles Love the rant! Rants come when I've had it up to here and need to blow off steam (the night I started the thread). You are doing great! I love my birds too. I'm curious to see how I will be once they stop laying (for now I'm waiting for them to start laying lol 19 weeks and counting) if I will keep them as pets or if I will find a happy farm for them to live out their lives. I've named them, felt their little hearts beat, worried about them, prayed over them (yes, I have made mistakes chicken raising based off really bad advice to fix chicken problems and pray that I haven't completely traumatized my chickens - I think my flock is doing okay), loved watching them grow, was devastated when one was killed by a cat roaming the neighborhood and cried for weeks. I wanted them for the eggs but have loved having them as pets and am enjoying having them around. My dilemma is I am maxed out with space for keeping a healthy flock in humane conditions in their coop and run (with free ranging every weekday for 4 hours & all day on the weekends), so if I want replacement layers every 3 years I have to figure out what to do. Originally I was going to have them culled & processed to eat, but now I don't know if I can do that to my little flock.

@ejcrist I'm thinking all these criticizers and going to be begging me for delicious eggs once my girls start laying! And I think that's one part that especially bugs me. I'm thinking the law around here is going to be "Don't criticize if you expect to get some eggs." I have a black thumb but I really want a garden full of fresh organic fruits & veggies so I'm attempting that for the first time this year as well. If you have any good websites you recommend for info, I'd love for you to pass it along!

Oh yeah, I know how you feel. I don't know what's the matter with people these days but everyone wants something for nothing. Mention help pulling weeds or cleaning the coop and there's no one to be found. Mention a harvest or collecting eggs on the other hand and most everyone wants to help. Even still there's some that don't even want to harvest - they want you to do ALL the work and then drop vegetables off to them - I'm totally serious. They talk like they're doing us a favor. Sometimes I think there must be something in the water poisoning people's brains.

Anyway, don't worry about your black thumb. There's some vegetables that you just can't mess up and they'll give you the confidence to grow others. One in particular is regular run of the mill bush beans - just about any variety will work but I like Tendergreen the best. I believe you're around zone 9B or 10A so you have a pretty good climate to grow all manor of stuff. I'd visit your local agricultural extension website (http://screc.ucanr.edu/) which will have info specific to your area. If you still have questions after perusing the info you can always call the local Master Gardeners and they will fill in the blanks.

From what I know about your area I believe you have fairly good soil there. It might be slightly on the alkaline side due to lower precipitation than back east so you'll want to take that into account when designing your setup and rotation schedule. Even if you only have a small area to plant I highly recommend rotating whichever crops you decide to grow, and group them by families, so for example you wouldn't want to rotate one family such as brassica (cole crops) into another bed or row where brassicas grew the year before. Also you'll want to incorporate healthy amounts of compost into your soil to help the tilth and add nutrients to include trace nutrients. Personally I'm 100% organic so I stay away from synthetic fertilizers since they only have the big three nutrients (NPK). Your chickens are an outstanding source of compost - just be sure to age it at least 90 days before incorporating it or it'll burn the plants due to the N content. I'm babbling quite a bit here but it's one of my favorite subjects so sorry if I'm being long winded. In short, think in terms of building and feeding the soil rather than the plants and you'll be ok 90% of the time. Also plant varieties that do well in your area - I stay away from Homeless Depot kinda stuff because they generally sell seeds and plants that do well on the east coast but not out here with our climate and alkaline soil. I'll be more than happy to help guide you as much as possible if you have any questions along the way. Just send me a pm if necessary.

Also there's a great book called Start with the Soil (https://www.amazon.com/Start-Soil-Gardeners-Improving-Beautiful/dp/0875965679) which is a great book for beginner and experienced gardener. I wish you luck, and like I said, just send a pm if there's anything you have questions about and I'll be happy to tell you what I know or at least point you in the right direction.

 

[OC Chick]

@ejcrist You are not babbling at all! THANK YOU so much for the wealth of information. You have given me a strong starting point for resources and where to go. Feeling the Valentines Chicken Keeper Love!!! You are AMAZING!!!!

 

[Louise Waffles]

@OC Chick I got 22 chicks last spring. Then I got a couple more because a muscovy hatched a single chicken egg, and I thought that a single chick raised by a duck was not good. It must have siblings. And then another muscovy was so stubbornly broody I could not stop her, and she hatched a couple of ducklings. So I am absolutely at my limit. I thought I would have losses, but there have only been two that died. My plan is allow a muscovy hatch some chicken eggs for me next year or the year after that. MAYBE.

I garden organically as well, all of my seeds are heirloom non gmo, I never use store bought herbicides or pesticides, just let birds tend things.

When I was a beginning gardener, I started with zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, and some basil. Those were pretty easy to start with.
Westwind Seeds is a good company to order seeds from, they are based somewhere in the west, and their seeds are supposed to be good for the western region. @ejcrist has good info for you! Good soil makes it so much easier. Some stuff you can frow in containers, and if soil is not so great you can try straw bale gardening as well.
I'm so jealous of your hardiness zone! I am half crazed now, grow lights going, starting seeds forbthe garden, new houseplants from cuttings, and just want to get into the dirt.

 

[OC Chick]

@Louise Waffles sorry for my delayed response, it's been a crazy week with the storm we had here and trying to repair the havoc wreaked in my backyard. Thank you for the gardening tips! I will check into Westwind seeds. I would love to have a broody hatch some eggs, but unfortunately I am at my limit with space for my small flock.