Love me, love my cats.
That was what I went by when dating etc in my younger years. Then I met DH...he is really the best thing that EVER happened to me. When we first started getting serious, I let him know that me and the cats were a parcel deal. He said, "NP...me and my cat are a parcel deal too
" I could not ever EVER be with someone who couldnt love my animals. It just wouldnt happen cos frankly...I made a choice when I adopted these little critters. I promised them that I accepted the responsibility of being a pet owner..including vet visits, a good home, fresh food and water, endless love and scratches, and that I would never make them leave me unless it was best for them that they did so. When they are ready to leave this life, I will do what needs to be done, maybe in tears, maybe in sorrow, but it will be done so they do not suffer. That is being a responsible pet owner. You can't do it part way...you either do it or you don't deserve to have a pet. That is one of my strongest beliefs.
So DH came to visit me at home for the first time.. <we met online...long story but I will tell if interested> and I brought him to meet my cats. Lo and behold, my evil, nasty, horrible cat Termiss <whom I loved more than any other cat ever...he was my baby...RIP my monster!!> who hated, and i mean
HATED every man he ever met....JUMPED into DH's arms and purred like he had found a long lost friend.
I looked at DH and said "Well now we can't break up...Term's spoken!" We never did either....been together over 11 years now, married for 10, and we still have most of our cats we made into a family. That darn cat fell in love with my DH and decided that he loved him....slept with him every night and bascially informed me that he was his cat and not mine till the day he passed on. My DH didnt cry when his brother passed on, or his grandad...but he sobbed in my arms for hours when we had to put down Term. I am truly blessed that he loves cats and the chickens as much as he loves me....it works out well!! He swears to this day he didnt have any catnip or fish in his pockets lol
It doesnt mean we haven't argued and compromised...but really IMHO in a successful relationship...you cannot ask the other person to change what they are or who they are. They change because they want to, not because you asked them. We all have different likes and disklikes... the best thing to do is to accept the other person for what they are and what they like to do, and if you can accept that then its a good thing
If you can't, then its best to end it cos you can't keep pretending things are ok when they arent.