Re: Holidays. They are always not my favorite times of year. Thanksgiving is a forced affair and so is Christmas. If I can enjoy them with people I enjoy being around, then that's great. Otherwise, I'd rather be by myself. If my son or daughter (parents are gone, no uncles or aunts and my brothers normally spend it with their or their wives families) or both need to spend this day with the in laws or out laws or whoever and I'm not invited that year, then great. I'm just not going to be the overbearing, much too willful, mom that mine was. Anyway I like being alone and since both my folks died between Thanksgiving and Christmas (though in vastly different years) I'm super happy just letting people be and having them leave me be.
That said, if I were sure I was hosting just people I love, my kids and their kids, I'd happily cook the whole meal and enjoy the day with them. But they have relatives other than me, and one is more than 1000 miles away while the other has "other family" that I frankly can't stand. So be it. There's no friction at all. The close one lets me know if they are available or not, and I plan accordingly. I'm not upset one way or the other.