Christmas = family = I want out

[LiLRedCV]

I can so relate to the OP. I'm not overly fond of most of my family either and, trust me, I have my reasons. I only get along with a very select few and they're the only ones with my address and phone number. If the hated bunch can't understand the word "NO" when it comes to my information? I give them Dial-A-Prayer's phone number instead. The ONLY reason I tolerated the relations as long as I did was for the benefit of my Grandmother (the woman who raised me). She passed away a year ago Dec 29th. I miss her so very, very much!! But no contact with those I can't stand ever since her demise has made my life all that much better!

Cruel? Mean? Nasty attitude? You might think I am all those and more, but try dealing with my family for awhile and you'll understand where I'm coming from. In my experience, blood is not "thicker than water"! Anyone who really knows me will tell you I have a big heart, generous, and that I will do anything within my power to help those less fortunate. My blood relations are a self-centered, spiteful, and hateful bunch. Boggles my mind that my Grandmother - a loving, caring woman- was related to them.

My FRIENDS are my family and I'd rather spend time with them!!

 

[yinepu]

Quote:
Good for you!
I haven't spoken to some of my relatives since 1989.. I prefer it that way.. they have no idea where I live or who I am married to..

it makes the holidays so much more peaceful and enjoyable!

 

[J's Orpingtons]

My Granda prefers to be one of the people that u don't know where he lives or anything

 

[hdowden]

if i was in a "good" place (ei; money ect) i wouldnt be here and its a lot more peacefull with just me and the kids. while i'm in the postion i'm in my parents are helping me but it gets depressing when they talk down on and about me. i have 2 little sisters that they always tell them they are better than me and the oldest of the 2 is always calling me stupid (i'm 24 and shes 11). so yea its always better with out them always telling me i'm wrong when i know i'm not, i might be that old but i am deffently not stupid and know what i'm talking about (lol like 80% of the time but hey who doesnt make mistakes?). i have been going to my grandparents every year for about 10 mins and thats it, my family makes me feel like an outsider and they are always talking behind anyone's back. once i'm back up in a "good" place (again money and all) i would prefer that no one knows were i live or anything its so much more peacefull.

 

[Patricia Jane]

Quote:
Couldn't of said it any better. I'm so glad we live 2 states away from my DHs family. Nothing but drama drama drama and did I mention drama? We will be spending a happy, loving day with our kids and grandaughter.

 

[Mattemma]

I think your first mistake was telling the family you were not coming. Second was going even for a short time. If you really can't get along with some family just cut them off. Tell the and then let them go.No more talking with them.It isn't necessary.In a few years you might reconsider and give contact a try again,but ofcourse it just may reaffirm why you cut them out of your life.

No matter what don't go in half way. Cut,avoid,ditch 100% for the holiday. Going even for a wee bit sets EVERYONE up for an unpleasant time in what should be a peaceful event full of thanks for what you have,and the people you are with.

I hope everyone involved has a decent holiday. Just remember it is ok to let family and friends go if they are bringing you down. Them getting angry shouldn't matter. You dislike them anyway.Let them stew if that is what they want. Being angry is like a whiney kid crying for a toy.. They did it and you caved,and now you are going.I wouldn't.

 

[HHandbasket]

I stay away from my family during the holidays, too. Every few years, I'll show up for a family gathering, but not very often... maybe once every 5-10 years or so. I love my family very much, but I am different from them and have never fit in; and I get very uncomfortable (sometimes to the point of nausea/vomiting) if I spend too much time with them.

 

[Carols Clucks]

As an only child with parents that had no relatives within 1200 miles, I would LOVE to have a big family Christmas! Even with the relative I am less than fond of.

My mom would usually go work for a family or two on Christmas for the extra holiday pay, Fess Parker and another nice family, helping serving big holiday dinners. Our dinner was usually in between paying customers and other people who had no where to go.

Christmas was usually a bit depressing, my dad would always buy me something (often used) that he thought his son would like or his oil paint artist daughter would want. But not being a boy and hating the smell of oil paint...it was hard to act excited. It was usually a day I would find a neighbor who needed their dog walked and spend outside wandering around enjoying the quiet and wondering what it would be like to have family there.

 

[Avalon1984]

Quote:
X2

 

[Debbiesflocks]

I ditched the family. I went and spent the weekend with my niece and her husband and had a great time. No one got into a fight, i did not have to sit and listen to a bunch of wind bags talk about how much money they make and how much they spent on their new 1 ton trucks. It caused some hard feeling that we did not stay long but that's just life. It was the best stress free Christmas i have had in years.