I'm going to assume that 20 kids is inviting hte entire kindergarten class. Makes invitations easier as they are usually willing to hand them out in class if you invite the entire class. Quite rightly they frown about selective invitations--muvh the same as manners indicate that you not invite one person to something in hte presence of someone that is not invited. Shouldn't even discuss it.
If she has other friends outside of school, you may want to scale bage by about half. Eight to ten kids is plenty for a party-like atmosphere.
IMO, every child should have birthday parties--the scale of hte party is really up to the parents and what they want and can afford. Remember, the memories are not just the child's--they are also priceless family memories.
Ask her what she specifically wants--it could be a pinata, a certain type of cake or theme. Chances are pretty good that even if she comes up with the pony ride or other expensive option you can give her alternatives. Okay, you want pony rides--if we do that, you can only ask 3 friends (or whatever) because of the cost. Would you rather have that or invite your whole class for a party at the park? It might well be that a pinata is her big thing (that is what my almost 4 year old granddaughter most wants for her party.
Get some children party books at the library and get creative. I have found that that age is really a big young for the crafty parties, but they do love games. You can get goody bag treats at the dollar stores--look in the wedding section and you can usually find very bottles of bubbles--8 to 12 bottles for a dollar. After holiday clearance sales also lend value. The pre=packaged goodies are usually junk that is a waste of $.
If you use re-usable cups and plates there is more work, but less cost. A cake mix is usually tastier than a grocery store cake--spend a couple of dollars on toy figurines that will last instead of fancy decorating costs. If you do cupcakes, decorating them (icing, sprinkles and candy) could well be an attraction.
Whatever you do, have more activities planned than you think you have time for. My first friends birthday party (I think my stepdaughter was 5, lol) I thought things would take longer than they did. Halfway through the 2 hour party everything was done! ARRRGH! Now what--fortunately my neighbor had lots of ideas and saved the day.
Consider how you wnat to handle presents--either have her open them one by one as each child arrives, politely thank the giver and put the present AWAY until all guests have left; save opening until the very, very end of the party; or forego opening them at the party altogether. I personally do not like the later as it seems to me that you are taking the gift giving for granted--part of the joy and excitment of seeing your friend open a present you have given him or her. Do make sure to talk to her ahead of time about manners and saying thank you for every present--even if she already has it or does not want it. Make sure she understands tat thisis not lying, she wants to be considerate of their feelings--she is thanking them for thinking enough of her to give a present.
If she has other friends outside of school, you may want to scale bage by about half. Eight to ten kids is plenty for a party-like atmosphere.
IMO, every child should have birthday parties--the scale of hte party is really up to the parents and what they want and can afford. Remember, the memories are not just the child's--they are also priceless family memories.
Ask her what she specifically wants--it could be a pinata, a certain type of cake or theme. Chances are pretty good that even if she comes up with the pony ride or other expensive option you can give her alternatives. Okay, you want pony rides--if we do that, you can only ask 3 friends (or whatever) because of the cost. Would you rather have that or invite your whole class for a party at the park? It might well be that a pinata is her big thing (that is what my almost 4 year old granddaughter most wants for her party.
Get some children party books at the library and get creative. I have found that that age is really a big young for the crafty parties, but they do love games. You can get goody bag treats at the dollar stores--look in the wedding section and you can usually find very bottles of bubbles--8 to 12 bottles for a dollar. After holiday clearance sales also lend value. The pre=packaged goodies are usually junk that is a waste of $.
If you use re-usable cups and plates there is more work, but less cost. A cake mix is usually tastier than a grocery store cake--spend a couple of dollars on toy figurines that will last instead of fancy decorating costs. If you do cupcakes, decorating them (icing, sprinkles and candy) could well be an attraction.
Whatever you do, have more activities planned than you think you have time for. My first friends birthday party (I think my stepdaughter was 5, lol) I thought things would take longer than they did. Halfway through the 2 hour party everything was done! ARRRGH! Now what--fortunately my neighbor had lots of ideas and saved the day.
Consider how you wnat to handle presents--either have her open them one by one as each child arrives, politely thank the giver and put the present AWAY until all guests have left; save opening until the very, very end of the party; or forego opening them at the party altogether. I personally do not like the later as it seems to me that you are taking the gift giving for granted--part of the joy and excitment of seeing your friend open a present you have given him or her. Do make sure to talk to her ahead of time about manners and saying thank you for every present--even if she already has it or does not want it. Make sure she understands tat thisis not lying, she wants to be considerate of their feelings--she is thanking them for thinking enough of her to give a present.
