Finally, fed up with it all, the fish revolted. 8 of them jumped at his face while the rest leaped into the toilet (since he was eating in the bathroom after a lady passed his car and saw him eating the fish and called the police) and got into the pipes. Fish came out of the faucets, swam in the toilets, floated in coffee machines, popped into toilets, and surfaced in shower drains. His boss through a fit. "You're fired!"
"Maybe I should stop eating goldfish," he thought as he trudged home. His neighbor, 10, saw him through her window and gagged. She had seen him eat gold fish in his breakfast borritos on the way to work.
Fortunately, he had a secret tunnel from the shed to the the closet in the basement his wife didn't know about. She wasn't home, so he ordered keys for the house online and sat back to watch his favorite TV show, '12 Hens'.
Then his wife came home with his daughter, 14. She looked at her father, then said "Momma, I thought you said Daddy couldn't get in." His wife sighed and said "I should have known. What do you want for dinner, honey?"