Dad Jokes😂

[notabitail]

How ‘bout Amazon trucks that play music like ice cream trucks...

so my wife knows when to go running out to the curb.

I think UPS trucks do that. Have you heard the brakes on those things? I get excited for half a millisecond and then just forget it because I know it's probably just unicorn farts that my family ordered.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

The man from the cemetery offered a "perpetual care" service.

I asked how much he would charge for just the next ten thousand years.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I'm sorry I sprayed WD-40 in your mouth.

But it DID stop that annoying noise it was making.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I decided I was going to be a better person today than yesterday.

Oh well. Baby steps.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

It's interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not that smart.

I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn't think the situation was this dire.

 

[Stravager]

What's so good about living next to a horse barn?

Spoiler

They're very neighborly.

 

[MamaPoult]

What did the big flower say to the baby flower????

Hey bud

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Teacher: "How was the Fall of Rome different from the current situation in the United States?"

Student: "Rome had good roads."

 

[notabitail]

Teacher: "How was the Fall of Rome different from the current situation in the United States?"

Student: "Rome had good roads."

We have plenty of Pothole Lanes around here.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

We have plenty of Pothole Lanes around here.

It's raining down here now. "Never trust a puddle!"