Darlin

[chics in the sun]

Being a Southerner raised by Northerners, I see both sides. I am forever calling kids "sweety, honey,dear", ect., but I would not call a co-worker or someone with a more formal relationship any of those terms. It is just very casual and denotes a certain lack of formality or respect for them, ESPECIALLY if they are older than me. I don't mind it coming from women who are older than me, or at least the same age, but absolutely not from men. I have a "darlin", and he is the only one that gets to call me that. Double standard, maybe, but I just don't like it when men do it. It feels condesending.

 

[debilorrah]

I always say things like "Oh honey..." Someone once told me they weren't my honey, and I turned around and said "Well, bless your heart."

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

A whole lot depends on context. Some people use endearment terms in a very friendly manner, and you can tell they use them with just about everyone. But to me, the term darling, with or without dropping the "g" is used in a very close romantic relationship, not just a friendly verbal gesture.

 

[Rozzie]

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We had to address all teachers as sir / ma'am in school & I didn't live in the South. It was a private school "thang" and not using the terms could lead to a beating at school or home (or both) for students.

As for my son...

Unless he joins the military, he doesn't have to call anyone sir or ma'am. If he's in a court room, he'll have to address the judge as "your honor" but that's the limit as far as such things go.

 

[gritsar]

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On the chill pill part especially. I consider the context in which its spoken and even if someone was being a smart@@@, I still wouldn't take offense. Around here there's only one word that you could call most woment that would get you stomped into the ground.

 

[gryeyes]

Some members of this forum might appreciate this story more than others....

Years ago, one of my 9-1-1 dispatcher co-workers was a sweetie *grin* who Honeyed and Deared, and Sweetied everybody. She was working radio and phones for one particular jurisdiction one early morning, and was TRYING to end a phone conversation with a garrulous, older gentleman. She kept using endearments, which he didn't mind, coupled with closure type statements. But he kept going on and on. We could tell she was trying to terminate the call. She finally got to a point where he was ready to let go.

At that exact moment, one of the police officers radioed he would be out at a particular address, serving a warrant.

She said, "10-4'" into the phone and disconnected, then immediately depressed the foot switch for the microphone to broadcast on the air, "Good-bye, sweetie." and picked up the next incoming call.

A couple of seconds later (she didn't realize what she had done, by the way), the officer radioed back, "I'll be 10-8. Is there something you know that I don't!?!?!". Meaning, he wasn't going to serve that warrant just then, after all.

The rest of us - all 3 of us on duty at that time of the early a.m. - roared with laughter, because we witnessed it.

 

[gritsar]

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[Dunkopf]

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When I was a kid, we lived in Denver and visited my grandparents in Alexandria La. They insisted we call them Ma'am and Sir. It was very weird for us. Then my Dad who was a Yank would get it in his head that we should call him and my mother the same. Fortunately it only lasted a few days. Like you said it's just a southern thing.

Actually, down here, calling people ma'am or sir isn't a "Southern" thing at all-it's a respect thing.

The only problem with it is, once YOU start getting called ma'am or sir, you think, "Gee, I must be getting old."

Sure it's a respect thing. The south is the only part of the country that's hung up on it though. Of course they probably aren't so much these days. I'm sure it was standard in other parts of the country at some time too. The military too of course. It's funny to talk to young men in the military. They can't quit saying Sir yes Sir.

I address people as Sir or Ma'am when I'm saying something they don't want to hear. My job requires me to give people news that they don't like sometimes. So I use those terms to show respect at the same time as I'm forcing something on them they don't like. Kind of like a traffic cop when he gives you a ticket.

I also use Sir or Ma'am when addressing very elderly people sometimes. People under 65 or so don't usually care about it. I would never routinely address someone younger than me by Sir or Ma'am. I would never use endearments either. That's dangerous for a man to do except with his spouse or kids.

 

[PineappleMama]

I like darlin' way more than Ma'am (Madam? Do I look like I run a bordello?!?!?)... especially if it's some sawed off sarcastic little twit... gets my knickers all bunched up.

I'm a "Dear" person myself... always saying Thankee Dear to cashiers and such, male or female... never have had anyone say anything at all... not even a funny look. Which is surprising since so many of the other things I say earn them.

 

[redhen]

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Good for you!