Dating for Dumbies?

[redhen]

I would suggest asking her what interests she has.... and finding and joining any "groups" related to that interest...
Or.. online dating sites are becoming popular...
I got sick of meeting guys in bars and tried a singles hotline type thing..

But it worked! Had to weed through the frogs..but i met my best friend and now husband.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Me too and I wasn't REALLY looking.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I was just talking to my friend about something similar today. I wouldn't say I have 100% found myself either, but at the moment I am very comfortable with where I am in life. Recently there has been a guy I graduated with in high school that contacted me and has shown some interest. Every time this happens, I find myself wondering why human courtship rituals are just so darned strange! I become more and more straight forward the older I get (I tend to "open mouth-insert foot" a lot!) and I sometimes I just feel like saying "Hey I'll go on a date with you, just ask me already!". There's this whole "I've got to be polite and hope that the other person likes me" sort of thing that seems to go on between two people who have just met and I guess the thing I hate the most about dating life is the guessing!

Doing what you love is a great way to get noticed AND to feel good about yourself. It goes for any situation really. If I'm just feeling down about something I'll do something I'm good and it never fails to raise my mood when I see I can do something others can't.

 

[WriterofWords]

Dating for Dummies? Heck I have "Are you a Dummy? Apply Here!" on my forehead! Singlehood is good!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Me too and I wasn't REALLY looking.

Me either..just checking them out.. keeping myself occupied, cause i had just broken up with an ex...

And the funny part? He lived right at the end of my road the whole time!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
There any MANY worse things than living alone, and I was quite happy with myself. In an effort to get out a bit more, not looking for anything serious, just a dinner, maybe a dance, see a movie with someone I had something in common with, I was on Yahoo personals for 4 years. I found the occasional date, making clear I wanted nothing more than to get out of the house.

Then I spent 4 hours on the phone with Ken. The rest is history. After saying all that, I will have you know that I decided not to date all until my son was 16. I don't think step families are the best way to go and that is just me. It all worked out in the end!!!

For me personally I disagree.. But I will qualify it.. Being alone almost my unmaking.

I was limping away from a bad marriage that both of us destroyed.. And I had major trust issues with women in general.. I didn't want a relationship, but I met a gal who would not let me isolate myself and I found myself thinking of her at odd moments. I think we had 2 dates in two years (but we talked on the phone daily) and finally she told me to quit being such a chicken feces and I said, you know what, she's seen the worst of me, lets show her the best of me. We gave it a shot and she put up with my insecure, untrusting behind and helped me deal with lots of pain and loss. It's been since '04 and we're still having fun and going strong. She taught me how to love and laugh again.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Me too and I wasn't REALLY looking.

Me either..just checking them out.. keeping myself occupied, cause i had just broken up with an ex...

And the funny part? He lived right at the end of my road the whole time!

Ken was pretty durned close to me too. I love it!!!

 

[flowerchicks]

Right now, after being married for 2 1/2 yrs, I am feeling more alone than when I was single. Rough patch, I guess....

But, for your friend.... try eharmony.com that is how I met my husband when I was 41. I had been single for 10 years, by choice, and never married. I have a bad picker so I didn't trust my choices. I had tried eharmony a few years before but it wasn't the right time for me. This time, it felt right. If you are honest in your answers about yourself and don't limit your "range" to your hometown, it is almost impossible not to meet somebody. But, before she starts trying to find a new man (or you try to fix her up with one

), being alone for a while is a good thing. One of my pet peeves is my friends who are incabable of being alone for more than 15 min. They jump from one relationship to another, not usually leaving one until they know another one is waiting. I have always been the exact opposite. It takes me years between relationships, and each bad relationship took me longer than the last to get over. I do think that she should get involved in clubs or groups that interest her. The WORST thing is joining something you have no interest in just to meet men. What happens if you meet somebody and HATE the thing that brought you together

It is very thoughtful of you for caring about her enough to help, though. I think my friends had given up on me.

 

[MrsFordTN]

Quote:
Oh you and Shanna are in the same club!

All kidding aside. She wants to be single for a bit, good thing too she has had a string of long bad relationships. Thanks for all the advice, but the sad part is I don't think she has hobbies! I mean really! When I met Kevin I had so much on my plate! I had rabbits, my Saint Bernard Josephine, volunteering, hiking, white water rafting, school, a job, etc etc etc... I mean this girl, again my best friend but also sister in law that is now living here, has been so stuck in a rut. She is online 24 hrs a day. I mean gaming, meaningless chats and facebook stuff, no hobbies, not even TV. I mean I am trying to be a good friend, not trying to find her a man that will let her move in, just want her to be happy and live her life!

So I am signing her up for hobbies! Kevin and I got her two rabbits (little dutch mix girl and a mini rex she named Rusty) and we have a local show coming up and I am going to make her show her little rex, even going to enter him for her and tattoo him! haha So now she at least has two living things that need her and maybe she will take interest in showing or breeding. I mean rabbit guys are the best kind of guys or guys that grew up in 4H or FFA!

She is also starting to help out with the chickens and incubator tasks, so maybe another hobbie. I have also been making her go to Zumba (anyone a fan?) classes to build her self respect, she thinks she is 'fat'. Also, I am there just to give her advice. She has been doing the online thing and well she picks duds.

Oh I love the bookstore Idea!!!! That's a good one!

Oh last thing, as far as men not wanting baggage like animals, haha Kevin took me with 60 rabbits, some chickens, and a goat. The first time my dad meant Kevin he said, no joke, 'You know she is a package deal, right? Even if you and her don't work out, you can take some rabbits with you...' So, trust me, good men are out there!

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

I have always been of the opinion that you can not be happy with someone until your are first happy being single. Hunting someone to complete you always fails.

I think I'm getting close to getting the happy single thing down.