- Aug 18, 2014
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My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend (he's older by 12 years, has four children from another woman that never wanted to marry him and he lives 3.5 hours away). My husband and I were not thrilled with them seeing each other for all the reasons I just mentioned. A very difficult situation. He lives with the mom (separate bedrooms) as they have a mutual understanding. She knows about my daughter and is not thrilled, but yet she never wanted to marry him. She has never been nasty or mean about my daughter, but just not thrilled with situation. It's a really difficult messed up situation that we never wanted our daughter to get in to, but they fell in love and it is what it is.
We have accepted this young man into our family and treated him like a son/brother. Long long story short. They broke up this past weekend. He proposed to her and she wasn't as thrilled as a bride to be should be. She has shown interest in another guy and she and her fiancé have been fighting alot. This happened back last Christmas also, but they got back together and she insisted that she wanted to be with only him. Long distance relationships are very difficult to begin with not to mention throw in four kids, and an unusual living situation. I feel they were doomed from the start, but as we got to know him, we fell in love with him. He's a hard worker, responsible, honest, respectful, kind, caring, etc....It's the entire situation that stinks! If only they had met before he had kids! If, if, if, if, if! Such a small word with so many possibilities! I feel like I've lost a son now. We always enjoyed his visits. He's a really great guy. I feel like we will never see him again. He was planning a trip up for his birthday this september. It saddens me. He views us as the family he never had being tossed into a foster home as a young child. My heart just aches for him.
Part of me realizes that this is probably best for my daughter, but I hurt for him and with him. He is my son. My husband keeps saying he feels bad too, and that he will always be family, but that they had three or more years to figure this thing out and it became stale. Thoughts, suggestions, comfort anyone? Can I wave a magic wand and make it all go away and make everyone happy? I hate seeing ANYONE hurt.
We have accepted this young man into our family and treated him like a son/brother. Long long story short. They broke up this past weekend. He proposed to her and she wasn't as thrilled as a bride to be should be. She has shown interest in another guy and she and her fiancé have been fighting alot. This happened back last Christmas also, but they got back together and she insisted that she wanted to be with only him. Long distance relationships are very difficult to begin with not to mention throw in four kids, and an unusual living situation. I feel they were doomed from the start, but as we got to know him, we fell in love with him. He's a hard worker, responsible, honest, respectful, kind, caring, etc....It's the entire situation that stinks! If only they had met before he had kids! If, if, if, if, if! Such a small word with so many possibilities! I feel like I've lost a son now. We always enjoyed his visits. He's a really great guy. I feel like we will never see him again. He was planning a trip up for his birthday this september. It saddens me. He views us as the family he never had being tossed into a foster home as a young child. My heart just aches for him.
Part of me realizes that this is probably best for my daughter, but I hurt for him and with him. He is my son. My husband keeps saying he feels bad too, and that he will always be family, but that they had three or more years to figure this thing out and it became stale. Thoughts, suggestions, comfort anyone? Can I wave a magic wand and make it all go away and make everyone happy? I hate seeing ANYONE hurt.